Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Bog roll

2»

Comments

  • #32
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Nope strutted through Tallaght with my 18 pack of Soft Velvet
    Ooh yeah I can afford this I can
    [It was on special offer]


  • #33
    mattjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    saa wrote: »
    Nope strutted through Tallaght with my 18 pack of Soft Velvet
    Ooh yeah I can afford this I can
    [It was on special offer]

    18 pack of Soft Velvet..... well there's a first for Tallaght ...


  • #34
    Doc Ruby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    Having to check out a few hardcore porn movies is worse. I mean they don't even sell those in Dunnes. The looks you get.


  • #35
    pokertalk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 806 ✭✭✭pokertalk


    stupidusername wrote: »
    try being a female buying a single carrot in a supermarket

    try bein a male buying a single carrot in a supermarket


  • #36
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Buying saucy underwear in Dunnes and being served by a scarlet young fella is always amusing. :pac:


  • Advertisement
  • #37
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
    Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D


  • #38
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    mattjack wrote: »
    18 pack of Soft Velvet..... well there's a first for Tallaght ...

    Yeah we usually just wipe our arses against the wall paper.
    Council will pay for it.


  • #39
    ImpossibleDuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,154 ✭✭✭ImpossibleDuck


    badabing106 wrote: »
    I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?

    Oh Lord, how I lol'd :pac:

    Put so eloquently :P


  • #40
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    charlemont wrote: »
    I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
    Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D


    There was no need to rob for me, the college had those massive roles of toilet paper and when they were 75% gone the cleaner would change it early and still there would be 2-3 normal rolls left on them each and into the waste paper bin they went, not for long we were all mainly taking them for painting.

    Is that a bit scummy, ah well..always good to have emergency tp.
    *edit... for my bunghole.


  • #41
    dx22
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 286 ✭✭dx22


    Kittensoft - very strange name when you think about it!


  • Advertisement
  • #42
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,152 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    kfallon wrote: »
    Abi wrote: »
    Imagine of it was a box of tampax going down the conveyor though, those bitches would have wet themselves thinking - 'nawh.. he went out and bought her some tampax.. Isn't he so sweet? nawhhh. I want him inside me'.


    Or something like that.

    They'd have thought "awwww his 'Johnny Giles' have burst" :pac:

    WTF does a TV soccer pundit have to do with loo roll ? Coz he talks shoite ?


  • #43
    StaticNoise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,460 ✭✭✭StaticNoise


    The real question is, how many sheets do you use?


  • #44
    Stained Class
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,808 ✭✭✭Stained Class


    Reminds me of a story.

    Indian reservation & 1 Indian sent to supermarket to buy cheap jax roll for the whole reservation.

    Indian: I want good value jax roll for my community.

    Shop Owner: Certainly Sir. We have a 'bottom' line range here we're trying out & you can have it at a very good price. The manufacturers want to get a good brandname for it & will give a prize for the best entry!

    I: Sounds good. I'll take a trailerload

    SO: Very good. Let me know how you get on with it.

    *6 months later*

    I: Hi, I've come back for more supplies for um reservation.

    SO: No prob. Say, you bought a load of jax roll here a while back. Did your community come up with a good brandname for it?

    I: Yes, myself & the rest of the Braves had a discussion on the subject & decided upon a name.

    SO: Really? So what did you decide?

    I: After much smoking of the peace pipe, we decided to call it the 'John Wayne Toilet Tissue.

    SO: Why did you come up with that?

    I: Well, it's rough & it's tough & it don't take any shoite from Indians.


  • #45
    Kojak
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,801 ✭✭✭✭Kojak


    saa wrote: »
    Yeah we usually just wipe our arses against the wall paper.
    Council will pay for it.

    Or you could use a fist of grass if you were really stuck....


  • #46
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,321 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    charlemont wrote: »
    I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
    Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D

    I used to rob bog roll from some of the pubs I played in, the big round roll, they leave some spare ones on the cubicle shelving and I have a bodhran case in which the roll fits perfectly heh heh.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



  • #47
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    bodhrandude wrote: »
    I used to rob bog roll from some of the pubs I played in, the big round roll, they leave some spare ones on the cubicle shelving and I have a bodhran case in which the roll fits perfectly heh heh.

    Ha Ha, Its the same ones I used to get, The holder only has a cheap plastic twisty thingwhich is supposed to some kind of lock, Just jam a key at its edge and twist and bobs your uncle...:D


  • #48
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,607 ✭✭✭stoneill


    See the looks you get when all you have on the conveyor is arse paper and new 3 pack of jocks.


  • #49
    policarp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,680 ✭✭✭policarp


    Loopie wrote: »
    That's like wiping your arse with a blade!

    In hind sh !te that would be best forgotten. . .


  • #50
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Dudess wrote: »
    OP it was Kitten Soft, so if anything, you're in. Buying Kitten Soft, instead of own brand arse sandpaper, looks sensitive.

    unless he actually uses soft kittens to wipe his arse with :D


  • #51
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Kojak wrote: »
    Or you could use a fist of grass if you were really stuck....

    What a disgusting waste of marijuana, suppose you could always dry and recycle. Natures way.


  • Advertisement
  • #52
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,234 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    badabing106 wrote: »
    I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?


    Yeah because both of those attractive women were imagining you sitting on the throne taking your morning dump. Seriously no one gives a shít (no pun intended) about stuff like that, its a natural bodily function and everyone does it...except really posh people like the queen.


  • #53
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    CJC999 wrote: »
    Yeah because both of those attractive women were imagining you sitting on the throne taking your morning dump. Seriously no one gives a shít (no pun intended) about stuff like that, its a natural bodily function and everyone does it...except really posh people like the queen.

    and Billy Connolly... he had a fartectomy


  • #54
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Liam Byrne wrote: »
    WTF does a TV soccer pundit have to do with loo roll ? Coz he talks shoite ?

    Johnny Giles is rhyming slang.....


Advertisement
Advertisement