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Chat up lines

24

Comments

  • #32
    Guill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭Guill


    Have you ever had your boobs weighed?

    *Grab boobs*

    Weehaaaayyyyy


  • #33
    dipper.meath16
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭dipper.meath16


    Me: See My mate over there
    Her: Yea??
    Me: Well he was wondering if ya will give me the shift!


  • #34
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.


  • #35
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 99,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Keno 92 wrote: »
    You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
    Humans don't have a baculum. So you are in effect saying you aren't human and can't get up without a splint.

    Humans are the most well endowed of all the primates. So you are also saying it's tiny.

    Since you aren't human you may also be implying that you are only sexually active at certain times of the year.


  • #36
    AeoNGriM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 712 ✭✭✭AeoNGriM


    Sindri wrote: »
    As do I, as do I.

    If there was one guy I could gay it up with, he would certainly be on my top 20 list.

    Sounds like you've given this quite a bit of thought. Good. Good for you.

    ;)


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  • #37
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Yakult wrote: »
    .....Did you fart?

    .....Because you just blew me away.



    • Success rate - 0%

    should lay off the yakult then :D


  • #38
    The Snipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭The Snipe


    "Just walk with me and don't scream and I won't shoot"


    Or,


    "GET IN THE ****ING CAR BITCH!"


    :)


  • #39
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    TEMPLAR KNIGHT wrote: »
    I used to be a very charming lad, but then I took an arrow to the knee...

    I don't get it.


  • #40
    Feeona
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭Feeona


    stacexD wrote: »
    "I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire... I'd piss on you though"


    :pac::pac::pac:

    He probably thought he was charming the socks of ye!

    Reminds me of that episode of friends where Chandler is breaking up with Kathy.

    Kathy : I tell you what, why don't you ring me when you've grown up?
    Chandler : Yeah, don't expect that to happen anytime soon!

    (His face is priceless when he realises what he's actually said)


  • #41
    edgecutter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭edgecutter


    Have you tried an Austriallian Kiss, it's like a French kiss, but down under!

    Works all the time, 60% of the time.:D


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  • #42
    dipper.meath16
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭dipper.meath16


    Is that a ladder in your thights or my stairway to heaven?


  • #43
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,291 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    Pardon me Miss, would it be frightfully innapproiate of me to insert my erect phallus in your bum?


  • #44
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    You don't sweat much for a fat chick.


  • #45
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    roses are red
    violets are blue
    i have a knife get in the van


  • #46
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    walk up to two girls and ask the one u dont want to dance
    when she says yes say then go over there i want to talk to your mate
    if she says no
    then just call her a dyke and walk off lol


  • #47
    Antomus Prime
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭Antomus Prime


    Guy: Fancy a game of rape?
    Girl: No...
    Guy: Thats the spirit!


  • #48
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    "I've a 12 inch tongue and I can breath through my ears"


  • #49
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,291 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    "My Dad used to beat me.....can I have your phone number?"


  • #50
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    id crawl though a mile of broken glass just to w$%k in your shadow


  • #51
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on your face?


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  • #52
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    id eat your arse your that hot


  • #53
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,291 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    Don't let this great night turn into rape.


  • #54
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    anal?


  • #55
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    do you know how i know im getting sex tonight ?? coz im stronger the you


  • #56
    Murray2200
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭Murray2200


    hahahahaha


  • #57
    dancesatnight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭dancesatnight


    Wanna play house? You be the front door and I'll bang you all night long

    *dip finger in drink
    *wipe in girls clothes
    and say 'lets get you home and outta these wet clothes'


  • #58
    Antomus Prime
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭Antomus Prime


    Boy: DO you like chicken?
    Girl: Yeah
    Boy: *while pointing to penis* Eat this it's foul!!!


  • #59
    Scamaill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 33 ✭Scamaill


    i agree


  • #60
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Do you like cheese? Because I'm an Easi-Single! :pac:


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  • #61
    shrewdness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭shrewdness


    How do you like your eggs; scrambled, fried or fertilised?


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