You've lost your job.You now live at home..again

chucken1 · 08-01-2012 04:57AM #1

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

IM0 · 08-01-2012 05:00AM

if you are getting the dole you should be paying your parents a good chuck of it if you are living at home with them

im invisible · 08-01-2012 05:01AM

Been at home on the dole for a year, my father said to me last night that one of would end up having to move out, and if i didnt, he would...

Local-womanizer · 08-01-2012 05:06AM

im invisible wrote: »

Been at home on the dole for a year, my father said to me last night that one of would end up having to move out, and if i didnt, he would...

Sweet, more room for you!

DEFTLEFTHAND · 08-01-2012 05:10AM

My Parents keep asking me to move home to save on rent as I still live near by. I think the aul pair are getting lonely with no chicks left in the nest.:(

Aoifey! · 08-01-2012 06:33AM

I know a couple of people who didn't qualify for rent allowance so have had to move home. Although they are still young (19 - 21), they found it hard to move back home again after living on their own.

Doc Ruby · 08-01-2012 08:51AM

chucken1 wrote: »

Or do you think its ok to swan back??

Mmm, swans...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msQPHxTUgzI

08-01-2012 09:13AM

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them), and despite the OP having a fair posting history, I can't help but feel that this is exactly that kind of thread.

What's your opinion on it, OP? How do you feel about this subject that you've asked about in a very demeaning manner to get people up in arms?

EUSSR · 08-01-2012 09:17AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them), and despite the OP having a fair posting history, I can't help but feel that this is exactly that kind of thread.

What's your opinion on it, OP? How do you feel about this subject that you've asked about in a very demeaning manner to get people up in arms?

I can see the front page of the Herald now. If I had the chance, I would make these rags illegal. Not only that, but force people to read only the Irish Times, The Times or the Examiner. That would learn em. Would eradicate slop journalism over the long term.

ICANN · 08-01-2012 09:38AM

I'll never move in with my parents again. It's great going home when I come home to visit but a week is the maximum I could handle without a murder occurring.

Jesus Nut · 08-01-2012 09:43AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Damn it. My covers been blown.... :pac:

CrazyRabbit · 08-01-2012 09:59AM

I'd rather be homeless. I can't live with my mum. Lovely woman, but can't live with her.

stovelid · 08-01-2012 10:01AM

Love all the can't live with my parents posts.

Like they're turning cartwheels at the thought of you moving back in.

EUSSR · 08-01-2012 10:04AM

At least the people who complain about moving back in have parents. Your Parents probably deserve more credit then you may think. I guess some people just hate the sight of their parents. Have to respect that I guess.

Kiera · 08-01-2012 10:54AM

I own my own home so would just get a couple of people to move in so I didn't have to move home.

08-01-2012 11:24AM

chucken1 wrote: »

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

It's happened more than once mainly leaving though and never moved home. It's completely lazy and childish imo.

Azureus · 08-01-2012 11:50AM

I couldn't move home after living on my own, and as much as my mam loves me and I love her, she wouldnt have me back either. It's come to having no place to live when i was doing my finals and had to stop working for a month or two, and I still found alternative arrangements. If I was really stuck Im sure I could probably crash there, but it really would be a last resort for the two of us. Soon as I turned 18 I became responsible for my own living arrangements and running back to my parents house just isnt an option-not just for me, but for my mam also. She has her own life, I cant expect her to put up with a 23 year old daughter hanging about her place-she put up with me for long enough!!

up for anything · 08-01-2012 11:59AM

chucken1 wrote: »

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

I find it strange how many people here dread the prospect of moving home or that their parent's dread the prospect of them moving back in.

:(

There would be no thought in our family of using a phrase like 'swanning' back in. We've always been told that where our parents are is our home and that we are welcome back there at any time for any length of time (even with our offspring) regardless of circumstances and that ways would be found to make what little money there is expand for the basics. We all used it a lot in our teens and twenties when things were crap in this country before we all ended up abroad working.

Even though the youngest of us is now 45, we still know that that option is there. It gives me a great feeling of security to know that if things went belly up completely that I could land on their doorstep with my brood and that they wouldn't be rolling their eyes and asking how long were we planning to be there. Of course there would be problems and personality clashes but there would be love and caring too.

I can't understand the sentiments expressed here - either that people would hate to move back in or that your parents would be inconvenienced or hate you moving back in.

up for anything · 08-01-2012 12:05PM

Azureus wrote: »

She has her own life, I cant expect her to put up with a 23 year old daughter hanging about her place-she put up with me for long enough!!

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

08-01-2012 12:13PM

up for anything wrote: »

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

You have to accept that not everyone's home is/was as Rosy as yours. Your situation does not apply to everyone.

Azureus · 08-01-2012 12:14PM

up for anything wrote: »

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

It's my mothers attitude towards us and not one she hides-when we turned 18 we became responsible for ourselves. Its not sad, I have a great relationship with my mother but it's not in any way a dependant one, Im just thankful for the 18 years of financial support and emtional stability that she gave me. My mother raised me to not rely on anybody but myself and that's what I do.
And Im sure I was a handful at times, so yes she did 'put up with me' and if she didnt I wouldnt be here today!

Lando Griffin · 08-01-2012 12:18PM

I did once for a few months and it caused friction. I would come home from work and here he would expect me to move cattle or dose sheep, some nights during silage cutting i could be working from eight in the morning to 12 at night. If i went out clubing all weekend if would play the "you will probably sell the farm when im gone card" and my buzz would be wrecked i would end up making silage or spreading the bag stuff off my tits, which always brought about conflict because i would end up doing it wrond etc. Then the days would get on and sitting inside looking out at the rain he would ask me a question bout some gossip or news item and i would be telling him only to hear snoring a few minutes later or the usual what are you talking about?

up for anything · 08-01-2012 12:25PM

Jay D wrote: »

You have to accept that not everyone's home is/was as Rosy as yours. Your situation does not apply to everyone.

Where did I say that I didn't accept it. I am just puzzled by the fact that there seem to be more people who would not or could not move back home then there are people who can and would. My home was not and is not always rosy or Waltony but it is home.

up for anything · 08-01-2012 12:26PM

Azureus wrote: »

It's my mothers attitude towards us and not one she hides-when we turned 18 we became responsible for ourselves. Its not sad, I have a great relationship with my mother but it's not in any way a dependant one, Im just thankful for the 18 years of financial support and emtional stability that she gave me. My mother raised me to not rely on anybody but myself and that's what I do.
And Im sure I was a handful at times, so yes she did 'put up with me' and if she didnt I wouldnt be here today!

For me a child is not just for 18 years but for life.

Azureus · 08-01-2012 12:30PM

up for anything wrote: »

For me a child is not just for 18 years but for life.

That's nice and all, but I'd rather be my own person than a child for the rest of my life. I consider myself an equal with my mother now, rather than a dependant and if I had children Id like it to be the same way.
Nothing worse than an adult that reverts back to a five year old when around their parents imo, and Ive seen it happen a lot.

KERSPLAT! · 08-01-2012 12:32PM

I moved back home and was welcomed with open arms. I wish I didn't have to, I loved having my own place, but I was always told there's a place for me if I ever need it

OneArt · 08-01-2012 12:34PM

The only thing that would make me dread moving home is that its Drogheda.

I'd love to live with the folks again... But I never want to have to live in that manky town again!

Dudess · 08-01-2012 12:43PM

I did so at 29 for a few months after doing a postgrad away from home and it was grand - I paid towards bills and mortgage, did chores and headed off most weekday evenings to the guy I was seeing, friends' places etc.
It was great to have it to go to, and my folks were very welcoming once I didn't take the piss. I assume my attitude would be the same if I have kids. I really don't see the big deal. If a person wants to live at home til any age, as long as they help maintain the household financially and domestically, aren't constantly under their folks' feet, and have independence otherwise (e.g. a car) what's the problem? People who go on about it being scrounging, a failure etc seem very self righteous.
Going away to college and being funded by the folks doesn't constitute "moving out" btw.

up for anything · 08-01-2012 12:49PM

Azureus wrote: »

That's nice and all, but I'd rather be my own person than a child for the rest of my life. I consider myself an equal with my mother now, rather than a dependant and if I had children Id like it to be the same way.
Nothing worse than an adult that reverts back to a five year old when around their parents imo, and Ive seen it happen a lot.

Ah come on now, an adult asking for a bed time story and demanding the crusts be cut off the toast. You could be right. After all there were Irish mothers who blew on their men folk's porridge to cool it down.

It is possible to be your own person and independent but know that you still have the safety net of home to bounce into.

Azureus · 08-01-2012 12:54PM

up for anything wrote: »

It is possible to be your own person and independent but know that you still have the safety net of home to bounce into.

Possibly because I dont come from an upbringing where this would be an option, I dont understand the mentality of seeing my parents house as 'home'. It's not home to me-you make your own home when you become an adult.

But yes, I can definately see the appeal of a safety net, and its a lovely option if available that I dont think anybody should be ashamed of taking advantage of (wrong wording? availing of) if needed, once they contribute their fair share of the running of the household.

Robdude · 08-01-2012 12:56PM

I would not move in with my parents.

That's just my own feeling on it; not a judgement on people who do. I can sink or swim on my own. Even if my parents would welcome me back to their home, I wouldn't feel right about it.

You've lost your job.You now live at home..again

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