Stupid things you thought as a kid.

Badly Drunk Boy · 05-01-2012 07:35PM

When I was 4 or 5, I thought England was in Dublin.

It was only years later that I found out that Dublin wanted to be in England...

cml387 · 05-01-2012 07:40PM

...that a horse called "Bar" seemed to be in a lot of races.

...that too much vinegar on your chips would turn your blood to water

...my grandfather told me that black women were in the back of the Malocco Cafe making the chips.

Badly Drunk Boy · 05-01-2012 07:44PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

I used to think it was: 'Alas - Smith & Jones'

There was a programme called 'Alas Smith and Jones'. It was a comedy sketch show with Mel Smith and Griff-Rhys Jones.

Shane-KornSpace · 05-01-2012 07:45PM

I thought that kicking a girl between the legs wouldn't hurt like it would with a guy. I thought they wouldn't feel it.

Oh how wrong I was.....poor girl....

plein de force · 05-01-2012 07:46PM

I thought all cats were female and all dogs were male and that they could breed and the cat had the puppies or kittens, i was a thick child

mikemac1 · 05-01-2012 07:48PM

I was told there are certain pubs in Dublin that are tapped directly into Guinness

The pints were the best in Dublin as you were getting them straight from the source

It wasn't that stupid I think

mikemac1 · 05-01-2012 07:51PM

One more, watching football with the sports mad uncle

Offaly getting hammered by someone, forget who.

And the commentator blabbing on about an insurance point and consolation point

Was told you get one if you score a point with your left leg and the other with your right

Make sense, I'd be out the back drilling my insurance and consolation points and dreaming of Sam Maguire

fuglywugly · 05-01-2012 07:53PM

I kissed one of my teddies once and thought i was gonna end up pregnant

It wasnt too bad though because i thought babies came out your belly button

membersonly · 05-01-2012 07:56PM

Used to play Football out the back garden for hours every day during the summer holidays, was convinced that Jack Charlton would be flying over head at some point and look down, spot me, and instruct the pilot to carry out an emergency landing so he could sign me up to play for Ireland.

Looking back now I can see how ridiculous this is, there was no where big enough for the plane to land.

LenaClaire · 05-01-2012 07:58PM

I used to think that photocopiers made paper.

Dotrel · 05-01-2012 08:00PM

We always sat on one particular side of the Church's main aisle so I presumed that side was for Catholics and that the other side was populated by Protestants.

saralou2011 · 05-01-2012 08:01PM

fuglywugly wrote: »

It wasnt too bad though because i thought babies came out your belly button

haha i thought that too:o

paddyandy · 05-01-2012 08:01PM

That there is someone under the bed.....many years later the feeling still surfaces though i don't look under it anymore .That somewhere inside the wireless there were people and i was shouting at the announcer to sing a song .

Dark Artist · 05-01-2012 08:02PM

When I used to walk to school I would make sure not to step on the cracks in the footpath. If I stayed cleared of them, I'd have good luck. I know this is a common belief though, even amongst adults!

I used to think there were cameras everywhere, and that's how movies were made, from real people's lives.

I once told my younger brother that a bull had charged into the classroom that day and my teacher had grabbed it by the horns and wrestled it out. She was an old lady. He actually believed that for years!

Niles · 05-01-2012 08:05PM

Dotrel wrote: »

We always sat on one particular side of the Church's main aisle so I presumed that side was for Catholics and that the other side was populated by Protestants.

For a while I thought Christianity was a single religion, and assumed Catholics were a different bunch altogether. I was surprised when I found out that I was actually one...

I also thought that the Communion wafer was a white chocolate button, and couldn't understand why I wasn't allowed have one...

superstoner90 · 05-01-2012 08:06PM

I used to think girls had "cooties".

mud · 06-01-2012 01:20AM

Caveman1 wrote: »

I thought 'no fixed abode' was a place in Ireland somewhere, I would always hear the news readers say the person address was at no fixed abode, I never wanted to go near that place as it was full of criminals

I thought that there was a place called "gun point". Always wondered why people would go there because so many people were held at gun point

RichieC · 06-01-2012 02:18AM

I remember musing to my young self (4 maybe 5) that the sun looked like a hole in the sky.

born2bwild · 06-01-2012 02:20AM

I used to think that women had to keep tampons in all the time - every day of every week of every month, year and decade of their lives.

I also used to think that sperm was green.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 06-01-2012 02:30AM

Skerries wrote: »

I believed that the first name you had as a kid was for only when you were little and then you got an adult name when you got bigger

Me too! I reckoned some names didn't sound grown-up enough and was surprised when I heard of adults with them.

Satts · 06-01-2012 02:39AM

For years I thought "Fracas" was a part of the body.
i.e. A man was badly hurt in the fracas.

Katgurl · 06-01-2012 03:00AM

We went to catholic church to worship
god on a Sunday. Up the road was another church (Protestant I found out later) where neighbours openly and shamelesslywent to worship Satan. He lived behind the bush at the side, we sometimes saw his claws sticking out.

I'm a girl but looked forward to the day I grew up into a big boy like my older brother. I needed to be male so I could fulfill my lifetime ambition and become a petrol pump attendant.

My dads publishing business was front
for his real house burglary career, himself and my mother were in cahoots on the conspiracy.

Kidnappers were not people who kidnapped children, they were a sort of specific race of being with no choice or control about their lifestyle choices. I imagined them all cheerfully swapping notes and tips at strategy meetings.

dr gonzo · 06-01-2012 03:12AM

Aww I just want to pinch this threads cheek :pac:

Sorry to lower the tone a bit but I distinctly remember as a kid being given a stern warning by some friends of mine (the more street wise mates that everyones seems to have when they're younger). Basically it went that while a blowjob may be called such its actually a misnomer because were the lady to actually blow, it enter the mans blood stream and kills him.

As a naive and impressionable youngster I believed this hook, line and sinker and immediately began to work out ways of making sure, when it happened to me, that the girl would properly instructed on how to not do me damage.

Arpa · 06-01-2012 03:13AM

keithb93 wrote: »

My dad always said to me "Im going to see a man about a dog" whenever I asked him where he was going. I always expected him to come back with a dog.

Ahahaha!!! My dad used to say, "I'm going to see a man about a horse".

I would rack my brains trying to think who was this elusive man with a horse and why was my father involved in so much business dealings with him. What did he know? Where did the meetings take place? By the gate to a field I imagined.

He never came back with a horse and it just made me more suspicious. Not suspicious that my dad might be telling me a lie, but suspicious of the horse man for once again duping my father.

efb · 06-01-2012 03:19AM

When people die they go to heaven

Opics · 06-01-2012 03:26AM

I used to think that a man peeing in a woman got her pregnant.

I always used to wonder could a woman get pregnant if she was swimming in the sea and a man pissed nearby :pac:

Caraville · 06-01-2012 03:38AM

I used to think that I had loads of money if I had lots of coins. None of that paper crap for me, thank you!

I also used to think that there was a possibility that Jason wouldn't find Kylie at the end of the Especially For You video, even though I had seen it dozens of times and he found her every time!

charlemont · 06-01-2012 03:38AM

I got very suspicious when I saw the Eiffel Tower on TV and noticed I could not see it from my house, So after asking my parents a few questions I was horrified to find out the Earth was a globe.

castletownman · 06-01-2012 03:46AM

I used to wonder why if women were allowed to feed babies with their breasts, why men weren't able to use their mickeys for the same purpose.

Disturbing I know

The King of Moo · 06-01-2012 03:49AM

Before Italia 90 I used to think that football players had to score against their own goalkeepers, and couldn't understand why Packie Bonner didn't just stand aside and let all the Ireland players score against him, instead of saving their shots.

Stupid things you thought as a kid.

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