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Biggest "WTF?" Statement

2

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,244 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    Wattle wrote: »
    Had this conversation over Christmas:

    'I'm doing a degree with the Open University'
    'The Open University? Is that an actual university'? :confused:
    Yes, it is. Works in Ireland too.

    "Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me."
    – Paris Hilton

    Government resting upon the will and universal suffrage of the people has no anchorage except in the people's intelligence.

    — Grover Cleveland



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,331 ✭✭✭RichieC


    According to the laws of physics a bee cannot fly.

    i love this, followed by if you somehow communicated this to them they no longer be able to.. :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 232 ✭✭eire.man


    we've turned a corner!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,420 ✭✭✭Dionysus


    This has to register as the most stomach-turning thing said in Irish politics in many a year:
    "The figures for the first four months of the year were actually good....It was from June [2008] on that the problems started."
    - Bertie Ahern, explaining how Brian Cowen, who took over in May 2008 after 11 years of Ahern's rule, was to blame for the economic collapse.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,420 ✭✭✭Dionysus


    "To those who seek to apportion responsibility for the events of 30 January the question 'Who fired first?' is vital. I am entirely satisfied that the first firing in the [Rossville Flats] courtyard was directed at the soldiers."
    John Widgery, Widgery Report 1972.

    "In the events which took place on 30 January the soldiers were entitled to regard themselves as acting individually and thus entitled to fire under the terms of Rule 13 without waiting for orders … the soldiers' training certainly required them to act individually in such circumstances and no breach of discipline was thereby involved."
    John Widgery, Widgery Report 1972.


    "Those accustomed to listening to witnesses could not fail to be impressed by the demeanour of the soldiers of 1 Para. They gave their evidence with confidence and without hesitation or prevarication and withstood a rigorous cross-examination without contradicting themselves or each other. With one or two exceptions I accept that they were telling the truth as they remembered it."
    John Widgery, Widgery Report 1972.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,159 ✭✭✭dazberry


    "We're in a pre-boom" - Irish Times Property (earlier this year)

    "My Uncle had a spine transplant" - guy in my friend's work


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Enda Kenny & Michael Noonan in two speeches.

    1. Enda - National address: "I believe Government, being honest and open..."
    WTF!!! That would be a first! Now if he could do it instead of doing a lot of the opposite!


    2: Noonan - Dail speech: "This Government will not repeat the mistakes of the past. We are changing how politics works to make it more transparent, more accountable and designed to secure the best outcome for the Irish people."

    WTF!!! Again that would be a first - when will it happen exactly? I'm still waiting...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭henryporter


    Also Enda Kenny:
    "You are not to blame..." WTF (State of the Union address 2011)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Biggins wrote: »
    No - she didn't have a virgin birth.
    Don't tell anyone but thats actually a translation misconception!
    (Conversantly further spun by Rome - but they don't want their flock to know that.)

    That there op we have a winner:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    "I seen 2 Kangaroos in the trees the other day"

    She was a lovely girl, I laughed, but listened anyway.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Also Enda Kenny:
    "You are not to blame..." WTF (State of the Union address 2011)

    Aye - but paraphrasing "...Your going to pay for it anyway!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 711 ✭✭✭battser


    An Immaculate Misconception?

    The immaculate inception tbh. Joseph planted the idea in her head while Mary slept and he lobbed it into her just before the kick.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    Padraig Flynn on the Late Late

    "I'm a rich cnut & I have many homes, but its so stressful to keep all of them running"

    Words to that effect anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,206 ✭✭✭kensutz


    "I'm not racist, but......"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    In the canteen where the two of us worked an ex-girlfriend said she wanted to be pi**ed on and ridden when she was soaking in it, in front of me and about 5 or 6 of our work colleagues. Yeah broke up with her the same week.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    44leto wrote: »
    "I seen 2 Kangaroos in the trees the other day"

    She was a lovely girl, I laughed, but listened anyway.

    She maybe did http://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Tree-kangaroo&mobileaction=view_normal_site
    Big Steve wrote: »
    In the canteen where the two of us worked an ex-girlfriend said she wanted to be pi**ed on and ridden when she was soaking in it, in front of me and about 5 or 6 of our work colleagues. Yeah broke up with her the same week.

    Pm sent with my details.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 99,580 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    "A duck's quack doesn't echo....and no one knows why."

    Drives me mad when someone repeats this utter tripe as fact. Think about it logically for 2 seconds FFS!
    Who needs logic http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/
    Unfortunately, Daisy has been eaten by a fox :)


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 99,580 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    According to the laws of physics a bee cannot fly.
    Only according to people who don't know about vortex lift that is.


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    Everytime I saw that word I always thought of the Dettol ads.

    Kills 99.9% bacteria..............FAAAACT!!
    If bacteria have a doubling time of 20 minutes then you replace the original mixed population with resistant super-bugs in less than three and a half hours.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    'I did not have sexual relations with that woman'.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭Grimreaper666


    "We have no option but to bail out the banks" Brian Lenihan. What a load of bollix.........


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 365 ✭✭Bullchomper


    A friend of mine asked "when does a chicken turn in to a turkey?" - genuinely :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    People's understanding of STI tests, scraping etc... So much roll eyes!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,242 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    Abortion is murder


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Peoples understanding of our current economic woes,

    As a matter, anything Sinn Fein or our new loony left come out with.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 968 ✭✭✭mistress_gi


    Only according to people who don't know about vortex lift that is.



    If bacteria have a doubling time of 20 minutes then you replace the original mixed population with resistant super-bugs in less than three and a half hours.
    Yei for microbiology nerds, that's what i've been saying for years :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,244 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    According to the laws of physics a bee cannot fly.
    That story wasn't about all bees, but specifically about bumblebees ... and it's not true. It turns out that the bumblebee takes advantage of a phenomenon called vortex lift, something already well known to aerodynamic engineers. It was used in the design of the Concorde and other supersonic aircraft, to allow them to take off and land at lower speeds than the slim wings would normally allow. It wasn't confirmed until a few years ago, but it was hardly high on the list of engineering research priorities ... :cool:

    Government resting upon the will and universal suffrage of the people has no anchorage except in the people's intelligence.

    — Grover Cleveland



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,299 ✭✭✭✭Zebra3




    And the scum laughing with him when he says it. :mad::mad::mad:


  • Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 6,524 Mod ✭✭✭✭Irish Steve


    "The recession will only be a short one"
    "The property market will make a soft landing"
    "The Croke Park agreement will provide good results for the country"
    "The Unions are working for the best interest of their members"
    "Benchmarking will provide real savings for the nation"
    "The economy has turned the corner"
    "The Government will bring in changes that will benefit the people"
    "The Pope is infallible"
    "It was only what I was entitled to"


    Scary how many of the above were said by politicians!!!!!

    Shore, if it was easy, everybody would be doin it.😁



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    "Every year an average of at least 5 spiders will crawl into people's mouths while they are asleep".

    This was widely circulated by email as a 'fact' years ago. It's complete horsesh*t


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    Not so much a WTF moment, but I remember when I was a kid, a Turkish family moved next door and the kids in the family were around the same age as myself and my siblings.

    I was somewhat in awe with them as they obviously spoke a foreign language and had travelled on a plane :p

    I remember asking one of them what it was like being on a plane and what do clouds look like. She told me they were really fluffy like cotton wool and that the best bit was when they wound the window down and touched them. :p

    I forgot the story and many years later when I was on my first ever plane trip I remembered what she said. I was sooooo gullible.


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