Inappropriate (but looking back - HILARIOUS) things you did as a child

Stabbed my best friend of the time, a girl, in the eye with a nail. 20 years later she still has the scar

My dad had a glass roll on bottle of Sure that was a see through clear Orange colour. I found my mams tweezers, tweezed the ball out and replaced it with Orange juice and replaced the ball. I simply couldn't believe he realised!
Another time I was in my mam and dads bed one morning and my mam got up for the loo so I moved to her side and did a big wee for her to sit in when she got back in, she jumped back out in shock and they seemed very concerned that I'd do something like that as a joke

Throw something heavy down the stairs, then lie at the bottom covered in ketchup, limbs akimbo and get my brothers to run to wake my Mam and tell her one of us had fallen downstairs. She never fell for it, strangeley... Used to get all moany with us too and tell us to bog off.

One of my faves was putting mashed potato on a teaspoon and springing it back to flip at the kitchen walls and stick to them. That was ****ing funny. My ma went ape though, we sat there with these confused faces all "What's the problem?!"

Used to throw food we hated behind the dresser too. That must be why we got mice.

I remember getting killed for throwing our duvet on the bedroom floor and jumping off the top bunk onto it. Cracks in the celing, falling plaster... Unimpressed parents.

Prank calling 999 was another big hit in our house...

I was never ever allowed have chewing gum when I was younger, at around the age of 5 or so I used to go along the path on our road scraping the dried stuck in chewing gum up & eating it :eek: Seriously gross....i must have REALLY wanted some gum!

I used to give the pet rabbit a swing in a plastic bag.

I would be going round in circles with the poor thing. Till my sister caught me and clattered the arse off me!


I thought the rabbit would enjoy it

Oh, and that same house next door to my mate, his perants used to own it. And when they sold it the new owner never changed the locks, me and the mate decided to sneak into the house with a key that was never handed over, we didn't do anything real bad. Just moved all the drawers around in the bed side lockers and dressing table and the presses in the kitchen ha ha, i'd say they where freaked out.

Toddler. Cut my middle finger off in a door.
Poured emulsion paint over myself and the floor. Had to be cleaned with butter. Have never eaten the stuff to this day.

As a Boy. Stabbed my friend in the leg with a bar dart.
Ran over a wheelbarrow in a truck in a builders supply yard.
When I served mass used to always have a slug of church wine before mass. Ate literally thousands of hosts.
Gave two elderly neighbors hell on Halloween. Not too proud of that one. The rest I'll defend.

When I was 10 or so, I fell in with a gang of street urchins. We'd going around stealing 'kercheifs and the likes. 'Got to pick a pocket, or two', they used to tell me.

Myself and my best friend who lived up the road used to collect shiteloads of acorns, put them in two piles on either side of the road and wait for cars to drive through them. Fairly dangerous but absolutely hilarious to two 8 year olds.
Another time I was playing tip the can with my cousins and was hiding in a field behind my house when I realised I really needed to take a dump. Shat myself rather than run out and get caught then just put the underwear into the laundry hamper without saying anything to my parents. They were not pleased.