Inappropriate (but looking back - HILARIOUS) things you did as a child

veryangryman · 02-11-2011 11:26PM #1

So i was 5, we had a garden and it was sunny....

Friend and I decided, "lets drown some Ants".

The drowning of ants takes the following required steps...

1) Dig hole in garden

2) Fill hole with water

3) Catch some ants (some of which sting) and drop into water

Step 1 requires shovel....hmmm only have 1. I give said shovel to friend and root out a hammer (the soil is soft so it helps to make the hole anyway)

Anyhow, i accidentally whack my friend, giving him 5 stitches in the process.

As a grounded 5 year old, i got mad and ran out across the road to mail a letter to them

"Patrick banged his head
It serves him right
Even if he died
I wouldnt give a sh1te!"

:eek: i know....

So 20 or so years pass and i spot some bearded young man in one of the local nightspots. Said fella brings up same story. Both of us in the pisses laughing about it now

Im sure im not the only one with the rogue past - anyone else care to share?

pacquiao · 02-11-2011 11:27PM

hoovered up the water in the toilet

Plug · 02-11-2011 11:27PM

Blasted my Mother and Father with piss as a toddler.

The King of Moo · 02-11-2011 11:28PM

Asking my teenaged sister how a sanitary towel was different from an ordinary towel.

ballsacky · 02-11-2011 11:28PM

Getting my lad out at every opportunity.

veryangryman · 02-11-2011 11:31PM

ballsacky wrote: »

Getting my lad out at every opportunity.

Is that where you got your nickname? Or are you Italian?

jamiecoins · 02-11-2011 11:31PM

believed that the celtic tiger would never end and we be all rich when we were 20

ballsacky · 02-11-2011 11:31PM

veryangryman wrote: »

Is that where you got your nickname? Or are you Italian?

Both.

Bobby Baccala · 02-11-2011 11:34PM

Murdered my family.
Good times......

Eve_Dublin · 02-11-2011 11:34PM

When I was about 8, my best friend at the time and myself put on all the coats we could find in each of our closets and pretended to be Rosanne and Dan Barr on an empty house on a building site close to my house and make up scenes and act them out. One day we were curious and lied on my bed with the coats on and pretended to kiss each other with a book between our lips. We knew immediately there was something a little bit odd about what we were doing.

We never spoke of that strange day since....

TheZohanS · 02-11-2011 11:35PM

Got hammered on port when I was around 4, ended up peeing against a wall....in the sitting room....

up for anything · 02-11-2011 11:36PM

Broke two house windows. Broke the car windscreen. Set fire to a barn full of hay. All in the space of a week.

orourkeda · 02-11-2011 11:38PM

I enjoyed kicking dogs and burning stuff

Coriolanus · 02-11-2011 11:38PM

Pissed on a chessboard because my older brother and cousin wouldn't let me play. I was four.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 02-11-2011 11:43PM

Our neighbours went on holidays and we broke into their house (ok they left the little top window open, i got a rope and droped it in and looped it around the bottom catch and lifted it and we climbed in thru the open window) and sat in their sitting room and watched their TV and rank their wine and vodka/coke. We were 9 or 10 and accomplished burglars!!!

pragmatic1 · 02-11-2011 11:43PM

Had no regard for my parents personal belongings. Used to take electronics apart and then not put them back together. Liked getting naked a lot.

Ghandee · 02-11-2011 11:46PM

Helped my sister paint our pet tortoises shell a wonderful red color with our mums nail varnish.

The poor fcuker died about eight hours after we finished, if I recall right, something to do with them breathing through the shell or something? Can't remember exactly, it was prob 25 yrs ago now, but I do remember a seriously pissed off vet!

pudzey101 · 02-11-2011 11:47PM

I used $hit my nappie cuz i was too lazy to go to the toilet like everyone else

krustydoyle · 02-11-2011 11:49PM

This is gonna sound really bad but i used to shíte on bits of paper and hide them around the house... No idea why i used to do it but i did...

:o:o

Risteard · 02-11-2011 11:49PM

When I was still using the potty I once made a **** and then told my father, who was eating his dinner at the time. He told me to empty my potty. So I proceeded to empty my **** into the kitchen sink.

Bobby Baccala · 02-11-2011 11:51PM

krustydoyle wrote: »

This is gonna sound really bad but i used to shíte on bits of paper and hide them around the house... No idea why i used to do it but i did... :o:o

That is fucking quality.
Keep it up.:D:D:D

brummytom · 02-11-2011 11:51PM

Always referred to Protestants as 'Prostitutes', in front of family, friends, priests...

Crimbouser · 02-11-2011 11:52PM

Got paid by my teenage siblings to listen in (outside the sitting room door usually) on private conversations other family members were having and relay info. Great for a pound or two! Ps, on second thoughts it wasn't hilarious but it did pay the bills

W.Shakes-Beer · 02-11-2011 11:52PM

Going along the road picking snail out from under rocks and around walls.

Piling them up in a pyramid on the path.

Mowing them down on my BMX, over and over again.

The stain would stay on the concrete for about 6 months.

i feel bad looking back.

mackg · 02-11-2011 11:52PM

Not me but a friend went to visit family in England and was out with his aunt one day when they came across a bad car crash, there was a crowd gathered around and my friend ran off from his aunt barged to the front of the crowd pointed at the wreck and shouted "class", much to the horror of everyone there.

x in the city · 02-11-2011 11:57PM

veryangryman wrote: »

So i was 5, we had a garden and it was sunny....

Friend and I decided, "lets drown some Ants".

The drowning of ants takes the following required steps...

1) Dig hole in garden

2) Fill hole with water

3) Catch some ants (some of which sting) and drop into water

Step 1 requires shovel....hmmm only have 1. I give said shovel to friend and root out a hammer (the soil is soft so it helps to make the hole anyway)

Anyhow, i accidentally whack my friend, giving him 5 stitches in the process.

As a grounded 5 year old, i got mad and ran out across the road to mail a letter to them

"Patrick banged his head
It serves him right
Even if he died
I wouldnt give a sh1te!"

:eek: i know....

So 20 or so years pass and i spot some bearded young man in one of the local nightspots. Said fella brings up same story. Both of us in the pisses laughing about it now

Im sure im not the only one with the rogue past - anyone else care to share?

zapp insects with a magnifying glass under the glaring summer sun

buy a RC car and fill a container with petrol, set it on fire and let said RC car into the horizon...

hmmm might have watched too many smokey and the bandits, chips, mcgyver.. a team../

efb · 02-11-2011 11:57PM

Ready my sister's Judy comics- they gave me the ghey

skyhighflyer · 03-11-2011 12:17AM

I remember having an exchange when I was about ten with a girl who lived down the road from me that went something like this:

Her: how much did your parents pay for that bike, 50p?

Me: *mortally offended about someone slagging my cool new bike*: yeah, well that's what your parents paid for you in the orphanage :pac:

Her: *runs off in tears*

Turns out she (and the two other kids in the family) were adopted and nobody knew, including me. Ah well, never liked her anyway :cool:

Littlehorny · 03-11-2011 12:38AM

One Christmas morning meself and the brother drank two cans of Harp each, i was 9 he was 6! Great laugh for about 2 hours til we both got raging hangovers and couldnt play with our toys or eat xmas dinner!

mackg · 03-11-2011 12:43AM

Littlehorny wrote: »

One Christmas morning meself and the brother drank two cans of Harp each, i was 9 he was 6! Great laugh for about 2 hours til we both got raging hangovers and couldnt play with our toys or eat xmas dinner!

Lightweights! TheZohan was drinking bottles of port when he was 4.

ILikeBananas · 03-11-2011 12:43AM

I boiled milk in the electric kettle. My parents walked in as boiling milk was erupting out of the top of it.

Inappropriate (but looking back - HILARIOUS) things you did as a child

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