Chatting with strangers

Eathrin · 22-10-2011 09:06PM #1

I was getting the bus home today and in the seat behind me a man in his 60's sat beside a foreign woman of about 30. He starts chatting to her and she seems more than happy to have a conversation. Nearly everybody else on the bus had earphones in. I'm a young adult and it's not in my nature to start a random conversation with a stranger.

Is this a thing that was much more common in years past? Are you the type to start a conversation with the person next to you?

Chris P. Bacon · 22-10-2011 09:07PM

Did he get her phone number?

Black Dog · 22-10-2011 09:09PM

I would consider it the natural thing to do.

im invisible · 22-10-2011 09:11PM

*turns down music, looks around... turns music back up*

ballsymchugh · 22-10-2011 09:12PM

about 10 years ago you could walk down a street on your own late at night, and if someone was walking the other way on their own, both of you would say hello. now if you do that you're a stalker/weirdo/rapist.

Aoifey! · 22-10-2011 09:12PM

I'd never start a conversation, but if someone starts talking to me I'd be happy to chat away to them. Although I do suck at small talk so they'd probably have to do most of the talking.

Giselle · 22-10-2011 09:12PM

Depends on my mood, but yeah, I do this all the time in queues and waiting rooms. Its nice to connect with your fellow humanity.

OutlawPete · 22-10-2011 09:14PM

So eh Cian, what you up to for the rest of the night?

Kojak · 22-10-2011 09:14PM

Cian A wrote: »

I was getting the bus home today and in the seat behind me a man in his 60's sat beside a foreign woman of about 30. He starts chatting to her and she seems more than happy to have a conversation. Nearly everybody else on the bus had earphones in. I'm a young adult and it's not in my nature to start a random conversation with a stranger.

Is this a thing that was much more common in years past? Are you the type to start a conversation with the person next to you?

No one talks anymore - its all about FB.

Conversations are soooo 20th century.

Abi · 22-10-2011 09:15PM

Cian A wrote: »

Is this a thing that was much more common in years past? Are you the type to start a conversation with the person next to you?

I try to avoid lifts where possible, especially when women with babies in those little car-seat-in-a-trolley-jobs. The babies always stare at you, it's awkward.

The mothers look like they want you to tell them their offspring is cute and ask how many weeks old, and what weight was he/she when they were born - while you're thinking, fuck me that's probably the ugliest baby I've ever seen in my life, and if only the lift was a moving car at least I could try get out.

John Doe1 · 22-10-2011 09:15PM

Its fine on the bus or in a queue but not say in a club urinal like some odd chap did last night to me:P

Saila · 22-10-2011 09:17PM

in my day we didnt have mp3 players, now get off my lawn!

Giselle · 22-10-2011 09:18PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

Its fine on the bus or in a queue but not say in a club urinal like some odd chap did last night to me:P

That probably depends on what kind of club it was.

tipp.angel · 22-10-2011 09:19PM

I think if the person seems approachable, its only manners!!

Eathrin · 22-10-2011 09:19PM

ballsymchugh wrote: »

about 10 years ago you could walk down a street on your own late at night, and if someone was walking the other way on their own, both of you would say hello. now if you do that you're a stalker/weirdo/rapist.

I really wish now that I didn't have to be this age where talking is now facebooking. The reason I don't use it much.

22-10-2011 09:19PM

Old men (not all old men) start conversations with women on public transport all the time. It's not a generational gap thing, like old people are just friendlier than us. It's that some old fellas like the opportunity to have a woman cornered, socially I mean. Sometimes it's pervy, sometimes it's drunken, and sometimes they're just plain old sexist/patronising. I don't know why they do it but it's really annoying, and all you can do is put on a "ah I'm having a grand old time, aren't you impressive with your advantages in wisdom and gender".

MagicMarker · 22-10-2011 09:20PM

This is why I have a car, so I don't have to mix with the plebs.

Agricola · 22-10-2011 09:21PM

Id never start a conversation with a stranger on a bus or wherever because I just couldnt be arsed. If im on a train for an hour, Id rather read a paper or listen to a podcast or the radio than talk about the weather or have a clueless debate about the GAA with some randomer.

rebel10 · 22-10-2011 09:21PM

What I always find is when you have been out of the country for a few months, travelling around, people don't make eye contact or even attempt to talk to strangers but the minute I get on that bus from the terminal bringing me to that Aer Lingus flight home, I am guaranteed to have struck up a conversation with someone. Definitely the Irish are great for nattering away to complete strangers.

Marcus_Crassus · 22-10-2011 09:25PM

true-or-false wrote: »

Old men (not all old men) start conversations with women on public transport all the time. It's not a generational gap thing, like old people are just friendlier than us. It's that some old fellas like the opportunity to have a woman cornered, socially I mean. Sometimes it's pervy, sometimes it's drunken, and sometimes they're just plain old sexist/patronising. I don't know why they do it but it's really annoying, and all you can do is put on a "ah I'm having a grand old time, aren't you impressive with your advantages in wisdom and gender".

Complete rubbish.

Eathrin · 22-10-2011 09:36PM

Marcus_Crassus wrote: »

Complete rubbish.

Well actually just to back the other guy up, this man sat beside her before the rest if the free double seats were even filled, then waved goodbye.

Kaneda_ · 22-10-2011 09:40PM

I love chatting with strangers,you meet some really nice people that way.

LETHAL LADY · 22-10-2011 09:43PM

Maybe the old man was not a perv and just a bit lonely.

rebel10 · 22-10-2011 09:46PM

Cian A wrote: »

Well actually just to back the other guy up, this man sat beside her before the rest if the free double seats were even filled, then waved goodbye.

Maybe cause he just thought she might be interesting to talk to. Why is it whenever some auld fella is seen chatting to a girl they are looked at like they are creeps.

slavetothegrind · 22-10-2011 09:48PM

thats exactly what i told the garda....

ballsymchugh · 22-10-2011 09:48PM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Maybe the old man was not a perv and just a bit lonely.

or friendly!

Abi · 22-10-2011 09:48PM

Kaneda_ wrote: »

I love chatting with strangers,you meet some really nice people that way.

And not be there thinking "got pregnant in her early twenties. looks worn out and trying hard to talk to me over the agitated baby in her arms." What's that you say? post-natal depression?! Jack-pot!

/opens boards.ie on mobile

/Posts thread massively judging others

....Rather than be happy to talk to someone, without judging their lives.

fryup · 22-10-2011 09:52PM

rebel10 wrote: »

Maybe cause he just thought she might be interesting to talk to. Why is it whenever some auld fella is seen chatting to a girl they are looked at like they are creeps.

its the cynical mindset of people these days i'm afraid

cesc77 · 22-10-2011 09:55PM

Cian A wrote: »

I was getting the bus home today and in the seat behind me a man in his 60's sat beside a foreign woman of about 30. He starts chatting to her and she seems more than happy to have a conversation. Nearly everybody else on the bus had earphones in. I'm a young adult and it's not in my nature to start a random conversation with a stranger.

Is this a thing that was much more common in years past? Are you the type to start a conversation with the person next to you?

Visa:rolleyes:

Daftendirekt · 22-10-2011 09:55PM

Sometimes I do, but most of the time, I can't be bothered.

If someone seems interested in striking up a conversation, I'll engage them, but otherwise I'd rather just read. Or even stare blankly into space. Something productive anyway.

Eathrin · 22-10-2011 10:05PM

It's not that I see anything wrong with it, In fact I would do it myself if I weren't too shy, that and the general mindset that starting a conversation with a stranger means you're a pervert. I would have no problems however with someone sitting beside me and starting the conversation, in such a case I would happily chat back.

Chatting with strangers

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