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I need to know how to do a self BACK and or Neck massage?

  • 15-10-2011 12:32AM
    #1
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭


    Anyone any tips?


«1

Comments

  • #2
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    Grab your john thomas and pull


  • #3
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    woodoo wrote: »
    Grab your john thomas and pull

    What? I am female and my back is aching with tension and muscle pain!:eek:


  • #4
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    IBTL


  • #5
    donalg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,513 ✭✭✭donalg1


    doovdela wrote: »
    woodoo wrote: »
    Grab your john thomas and pull

    What? I am female and my back is aching with tension and muscle pain!:eek:

    Boob reduction.

    Sorted.

    Next please


  • #6
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    Cheat OP you went back in and changed the title.


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  • #7
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Ninja edit on title! :eek:


  • #8
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Rub up and down vigorously against the radiator :pac:


  • #9
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    doovdela wrote: »
    Anyone any tips?

    :D:D was our advice not good enough Dela?


  • #10
    Hal Emmerich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,078 ✭✭✭Hal Emmerich


    What was it before the edit??


  • #11
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Hal Emmerich wrote: »
    What was it before the edit??
    The "...BACK and or Neck..." bit was missing.


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  • #12
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    woodoo wrote: »
    Cheat OP you went back in and changed the title.

    I know I did cause PEOPLE mistaked that I was on about 'self massaging' something other than back and neck! I just had self massage in it rather than BACK and neck massage so people know its not to get myself off. It's to actually massage my neck and back myself! :P


  • #13
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    hondasam wrote: »
    :D:D was our advice not good enough Dela?

    It was but thought I could learn a thing or too how to massage my back and or neck without someone having to do it but myself otherwise I have to go to a masseuse or just lie down in my bed with the heat of it evaporating to ease the tension in my back.


  • #14
    nocal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 798 ✭✭✭nocal


    a) heat pack
    b) lie on a hard surface with a book under your neck
    c) fap

    Result = tension relieved :D


  • #15
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    donalg1 wrote: »
    Boob reduction.

    Sorted.

    Next please

    Unfortunately I do not need a boob reduction if anything it be the opposite but I am not complaining would get backache despite boob size...:rolleyes: Just back really really tense and sore lately muscles sore and real tightness in the back so how do I rub the back which direction to get relief? What kind of hand movement?


  • #16
    InkSlinger67
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,756 ✭✭✭InkSlinger67


    The way to your back is through your stomach handle....massage that!


  • #17
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    you can buy neck massagers in ann summers, the euro shop sells the C size batteries


  • #18
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    doovdela wrote: »
    blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... boob...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... boob... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...What kind of hand movement?
    Fap fap fap...


  • #19
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    InkSlinger67 wrote: »
    The way to your back is through your stomach handle....massage that!

    oh thanks very much lol
    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    you can buy neck massagers in ann summers, the euro shop sells the C size batteries

    Didn't know those kind of things existed in anne summers! but are they not vibs yokes you on about eh? C size batteries never knew such a thing existed size c??? I am more beee.....?:confused::eek::o


  • #20
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Get a fat Irish dancer to do riverdance on you back with steel-tipped shoes.

    Always works for me.


  • #21
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    doovdela wrote: »
    oh thanks very much lol



    Didn't know those kind of things existed in anne summers! but are they not vibs yokes you on about eh? C size batteries never knew such a thing existed size c??? I am more beee.....?:confused::eek::o

    have you been at the alter wine?


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  • #22
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    Fap fap fap...

    I am talking about hand movement on my back not anywhere lower down than that!? come one like...:o
    Chuck Stone wrote: »
    Get a fat Irish dancer to do riverdance on you back with steel-tipped shoes.

    Always works for me.

    Someone did go riding on my back a few days a go wonder if I put it out...don't think I have a slip disk I am only 26!? Think it just muscle pain cause its all over my back and right down my back. Hunch a bit or often don't have great posture maybe its that...had a few muscles tense around my tum too last night that eased but seems to be coming back to haunt me right now...f'ck


  • #23
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭ilovesleep


    You get a long kitchen implement like an egg flipper. Butter your back with it. Lie down on the floor and let your cat do the rest. He'll do the marching pawing and lick your back.


  • #24
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    doovdela wrote: »
    It was but thought I could learn a thing or too how to massage my back and or neck without someone having to do it but myself otherwise I have to go to a masseuse or just lie down in my bed with the heat of it evaporating to ease the tension in my back.

    my earlier advice stands!! careful where you put that hot yoke.

    hot stone massage is what you need.


  • #25
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    doovdela wrote: »
    I am talking about hand movement on my back not anywhere lower down than that!?
    Your fanny isn't on your back by any chance, is it?


  • #26
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    have you been at the alter wine?

    the alter wine I am sorry my brain is a bit malfunctioning right now from the wine that I have consumed and drank for the past hour!? what are you saying before I make a typo!?


  • #27
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    Your fanny isn't on your back by any chance, is it?

    No its not I don't think it is! is it? thought the backside is part of the end of the back like??? the wine is making me confused thought it would relax and lessen the tension in my back muscles. I need munchies...then bed...


  • #28
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    ilovesleep wrote: »
    You get a long kitchen implement like an egg flipper. Butter your back with it. Lie down on the floor and let your cat do the rest. He'll do the marching pawing and lick your back.

    I don't have a cat but I have butter, kitchen element, egg, and a floor.., don't know how that work!


  • #29
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    OMG I can feel the tension of my back my just feeling it my spine is literally so tight that my whole hand can feel the diameter/breath of my back...oh jasuz I need a masseuse quick!


  • #30
    donalg1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,513 ✭✭✭donalg1


    doovdela wrote: »
    OMG I can feel the tension of my back my just feeling it my spine is literally so tight that my whole hand can feel the diameter/breath of my back...oh jasuz I need a masseuse quick!

    Try tweek ur nipples that can work sometimes


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  • #31
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭ilovesleep


    How about a hot bath until you can go for a massage.


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