I need to know how to do a self BACK and or Neck massage?

starlit

Anyone any tips?

woodoo

Grab your john thomas and pull

starlit

woodoo wrote: »

Grab your john thomas and pull

What? I am female and my back is aching with tension and muscle pain!:eek:

IvaBigWun

IBTL

donalg1

doovdela wrote: »

woodoo wrote: »

Grab your john thomas and pull

What? I am female and my back is aching with tension and muscle pain!:eek:

Boob reduction.

Sorted.

Next please

woodoo

Cheat OP you went back in and changed the title.

IvaBigWun

Ninja edit on title! :eek:

The King of Moo

Rub up and down vigorously against the radiator :pac:

hondasam

doovdela wrote: »

Anyone any tips?

:D was our advice not good enough Dela?

Hal Emmerich

What was it before the edit??

El Weirdo

Hal Emmerich wrote: »

What was it before the edit??

The "...BACK and or Neck..." bit was missing.

starlit

woodoo wrote: »

Cheat OP you went back in and changed the title.

I know I did cause PEOPLE mistaked that I was on about 'self massaging' something other than back and neck! I just had self massage in it rather than BACK and neck massage so people know its not to get myself off. It's to actually massage my neck and back myself! :P

starlit

hondasam wrote: »

:D was our advice not good enough Dela?

It was but thought I could learn a thing or too how to massage my back and or neck without someone having to do it but myself otherwise I have to go to a masseuse or just lie down in my bed with the heat of it evaporating to ease the tension in my back.

nocal

a) heat pack
b) lie on a hard surface with a book under your neck
c) fap

Result = tension relieved

starlit

donalg1 wrote: »

Boob reduction.

Sorted.

Next please

Unfortunately I do not need a boob reduction if anything it be the opposite but I am not complaining would get backache despite boob size...:rolleyes: Just back really really tense and sore lately muscles sore and real tightness in the back so how do I rub the back which direction to get relief? What kind of hand movement?

InkSlinger67

The way to your back is through your stomach handle....massage that!

admiralofthefleet

you can buy neck massagers in ann summers, the euro shop sells the C size batteries

El Weirdo

doovdela wrote: »

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... boob...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... boob... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...What kind of hand movement?

Fap fap fap...

starlit

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

The way to your back is through your stomach handle....massage that!

oh thanks very much lol

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

you can buy neck massagers in ann summers, the euro shop sells the C size batteries

Didn't know those kind of things existed in anne summers! but are they not vibs yokes you on about eh? C size batteries never knew such a thing existed size c??? I am more beee.....?:eek::o

Chuck Stone

Get a fat Irish dancer to do riverdance on you back with steel-tipped shoes.

Always works for me.

admiralofthefleet

doovdela wrote: »

oh thanks very much lol



Didn't know those kind of things existed in anne summers! but are they not vibs yokes you on about eh? C size batteries never knew such a thing existed size c??? I am more beee.....?:eek::o

have you been at the alter wine?

starlit

El Weirdo wrote: »

Fap fap fap...

I am talking about hand movement on my back not anywhere lower down than that!? come one like...:o

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Get a fat Irish dancer to do riverdance on you back with steel-tipped shoes.

Always works for me.

Someone did go riding on my back a few days a go wonder if I put it out...don't think I have a slip disk I am only 26!? Think it just muscle pain cause its all over my back and right down my back. Hunch a bit or often don't have great posture maybe its that...had a few muscles tense around my tum too last night that eased but seems to be coming back to haunt me right now...f'ck

ilovesleep

You get a long kitchen implement like an egg flipper. Butter your back with it. Lie down on the floor and let your cat do the rest. He'll do the marching pawing and lick your back.

hondasam

doovdela wrote: »

It was but thought I could learn a thing or too how to massage my back and or neck without someone having to do it but myself otherwise I have to go to a masseuse or just lie down in my bed with the heat of it evaporating to ease the tension in my back.

my earlier advice stands!! careful where you put that hot yoke.

hot stone massage is what you need.

El Weirdo

doovdela wrote: »

I am talking about hand movement on my back not anywhere lower down than that!?

Your fanny isn't on your back by any chance, is it?

starlit

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

have you been at the alter wine?

the alter wine I am sorry my brain is a bit malfunctioning right now from the wine that I have consumed and drank for the past hour!? what are you saying before I make a typo!?

starlit

El Weirdo wrote: »

Your fanny isn't on your back by any chance, is it?

No its not I don't think it is! is it? thought the backside is part of the end of the back like??? the wine is making me confused thought it would relax and lessen the tension in my back muscles. I need munchies...then bed...

starlit

ilovesleep wrote: »

You get a long kitchen implement like an egg flipper. Butter your back with it. Lie down on the floor and let your cat do the rest. He'll do the marching pawing and lick your back.

I don't have a cat but I have butter, kitchen element, egg, and a floor.., don't know how that work!

starlit

OMG I can feel the tension of my back my just feeling it my spine is literally so tight that my whole hand can feel the diameter/breath of my back...oh jasuz I need a masseuse quick!

donalg1

doovdela wrote: »

OMG I can feel the tension of my back my just feeling it my spine is literally so tight that my whole hand can feel the diameter/breath of my back...oh jasuz I need a masseuse quick!

Try tweek ur nipples that can work sometimes

ilovesleep

How about a hot bath until you can go for a massage.

cofy

Sorry, I have a very boring reply, but have you tried, lying on the flat of your back on the floor, stretch your arms out straight, then bring your knees up to your chest and gently allow them to drop left and right. It works for me.

starlit

cofy wrote: »

Sorry, I have a very boring reply, but have you tried, lying on the flat of your back on the floor, stretch your arms out straight, then bring your knees up to your chest and gently allow them to drop left and right. It works for me.

As in stretching/yoga?

Hal Emmerich

doovdela wrote: »

Someone did go riding on my back a few days a go wonder if I put it out...

OOh I say...:eek:

cofy

doovdela wrote: »

As in stretching/yoga?

I've never done yoga. I've had back problems in the past. But this should pull your spine back into line and bring relief. If it works you may hear a cracking sound much like a rack on a finger.

starlit

Hal Emmerich wrote: »

OOh I say...:eek:

not that kind of riding related to sex. just a monkey on my back wanting me to play horsey.

hondasam

doovdela wrote: »

not that kind of riding related to sex. just a monkey on my back wanting me to play horsey.

No wonder your back is sore if you were playing horsey with a monkey.

starlit

Have a nice lukewarm bean bag yoke around my neck and then bed for sure lie in the heat of my lovely warm bed! zzz! I am so happy...ye, made my day you guys group hug(wine talking mind and nearly ready to pass out up on yonder!

starlit

hondasam wrote: »

No wonder your back is sore if you were playing horsey with a monkey.

Could explain a few things just that I tend to have bad posture or sleep awkwardly in my bed...But then again could be just general tension in the back due to stress! night yall!;) Hope I sleep tonight had many a restless and sleepless nights due to no reason stupid insomnia! Usually a great sleeper could sleep for hours without waking just find I can't get to sleep sometimes hope the wine does the trick! night...

starlit

I need my bed but why was this sent to the Cuckoo's nest!? Knew it would be sometime it would, was inevitable with the comments despite a genuine question! Night!

Storminateacup

Self massage on your neck:
Step 1. Using a medium pressure, start at base of neck working up, just rubbing. X3. Apply baby oil so your not dragging the skin and there's luberication.
Step 2. With 4 fingers one side of your neck and thumb the otherside, pick up the muscle. (so your bringing ur 4 fingers towards ur thumb). X3 times.
Step 3. Using your ring finger and middle finger, use firm circular motions from base of neck up towards head.you should do six rows of this working from right to left, repeat 3 times.
Step 4. Using a medium/deep pressure, repeat step 1.
Step 5. Using your thumb, use friction movements over your neck, careful not to use too much pressure.
Repeat movements as nessessary.
You should heat the area before starting the massage as muscles would be more relaxed and easier to manipulate.
It's important to finish massage when your done with all movements with step 1.

As for back massage - you can do shoulders using the above movements, but really - find yourself a good swedish massage therapist, and have them use a medium/deep pressure.
Hot stone would be okay as it's preheating the area but it's not good for breakdown of tension as a lot of the movements need to be omitted as they cannot be done with the stones.
Deep tissue muscle massage would be excellent but will hurt like BLAZES if your as tense as you say.

/serious.

Wowbagger

Hey Storm, you a masseuse type person? serious question cos I have a question related to massage type stuff (for Mrs Wow not moi I hasten to add)

Thanks
W

Storminateacup

Yeah I'm qualified in massage

Wowbagger

Thanks, can I pm you the question please?

W

Storminateacup

Yeah of course

CorkBingo

Aldi had this Sanitas unit on sale for about €30 great for getting at those parts u cant reach


https://sites.google.com/site/bingoincork/northside-bingo/neptune

Wowbagger

Thanks Storm PM sent.

W

starlit

Thanks for the advice storm!

Bennyjammin

I have a vibrating massage cushion that i use to massage my lower back. Its very handy and it works really really at relieving the lower back pain that i get frequently. not sure where exactly I got it, if you search for 'vibrating massage cushion' on ebay there's loads of them there from about 20 -30 euro.