Dublin Bike right in the stomach!!

Triangla · 07-10-2011 09:13AM #1

I was walking to work this morning at around 8, walking up Camden Street, just outside Coffee Society when a nutcase stabs me in the stomach with a Dublin bike. I mean he went out of his way to step over to me then totally rammed the handlebar into my stomach.

Apparently I committed the crime of trying to "squeeze through". (Between wall and lamp post).

He then threatened to call the cops on me for "squeezing through".
I said go on call them, we'll see which act is illegal, squeezing through or assault.

He then went to walk away so I said ok I'll call them and I held onto the bike

After 5 mins of me trying to get my phone out of my pocket while holding onto the bike he was trying to wrestle from me an unmarked garda 4x4 pulled over.

Detective got out flashed ID and asked what was going on. Crazy Joe we'll call him starts going on a rant about how he's sick of people getting in front of him and trying to squeeze in. Says how he's reported it before and is going to report me when he gets home tonight. I point to the gap he's talking about, 4 people could walk through shoulder to shoulder with ease.

Garda's jaw drops at the rant, says it's a civil issue and would an apology suffice. Joe says it would then walks away down the path with the bike.
Garda turns to me and says "That guy has mental issues" and we both go our separate way.

How was your Friday morning?

Ghandee · 07-10-2011 09:15AM

I got the ride!

On a Dublin bike! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it!

Biggins · 07-10-2011 09:15AM

You need a blog it sounds like?

MYSTICA1 · 07-10-2011 09:17AM

But he is Metal

mawk · 07-10-2011 09:18AM

Assault is a civil issue?

MitchKoobski · 07-10-2011 09:18AM

Could have gotten it in worse places than the stomach tbh.

Triangla · 07-10-2011 09:19AM

~Thank God for my rock hard abs protecting me

Edit: and the layer of fat protecting them

Dub Ste · 07-10-2011 09:20AM

Garda turns to me and says "That guy has metal issues" and we both go our separate way.

Apparently he hates lead,has no time for iron,can't stand steel,and get him started on f*cking gold.....;)

Dyr · 07-10-2011 09:21AM

Squeezing through what?

Also dublin bike twats should be declared legitimate targets for pedestrians,

Triangla · 07-10-2011 09:22AM

mawk wrote: »

Assault is a civil issue?

Garda asked did anyone see it and I said no.

Sky King · 07-10-2011 09:22AM

mawk wrote: »

Assault is a civil issue?

My thoughts exactly.

If no one sees a murder is it a civil issue?

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:23AM

squeezing through what
wtf

smash · 07-10-2011 09:25AM

What's the difference between a Dublin bike and a regular bike?

Triangla · 07-10-2011 09:25AM

Bambi wrote: »

Squeezing through what?

Also dublin bike twats should be declared legitimate targets for pedestrians,

Between the lampost and the wall, there is loads of space between them and about and inch of path between other side of lamp and road.

My first ever encounter with craziness at this hour of the morning. Christ I'd hate to be sitting beside him at work today!

The funny thing is he went to depart and hopped onto the bike on the footpath and cycled away. The Garda just shook his head.

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:26AM

smash wrote: »

What's the difference between a Dublin bike and a regular bike?

Im waiting for the punchline

hardCopy · 07-10-2011 09:26AM

Eh?

On the path or on the road?

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:29AM

you sure there was someone else and a garda OP

stupidusername · 07-10-2011 09:33AM

so you're saying that you were walking on a footpath, and a guy on a bike hits you in the stomach, for being on the footpath? even though he's on the footpath with his bike?

bluefinger · 07-10-2011 09:36AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FmVopEs9yI

BronsonTB · 07-10-2011 09:36AM

I can see I'm not the only one completely confused by what the OP squeezed through

OP post does not give enough detail that led up to the incident with the handlebar....

jiltloop · 07-10-2011 09:39AM

smash wrote: »

What's the difference between a Dublin bike and a regular bike?

A dublin bike churns out scumbags every 9 months or so?

fullstop · 07-10-2011 09:46AM

MYSTICA1 wrote: »

But he is Metal

No, the bike is.

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:47AM

Triangla wrote: »

I was walking to work this morning at around 8, walking up Camden Street, just outside Coffee Society when a nutcase stabs me in the stomach with a Dublin bike. I mean he went out of his way to step over to me then totally rammed the handlebar into my stomach.

Apparently I committed the crime of trying to "squeeze through". (Between wall and lamp post).

He then threatened to call the cops on me for "squeezing through".
I said go on call them, we'll see which act is illegal, squeezing through or assault.

He then went to walk away so I said ok I'll call them and I held onto the bike

After 5 mins of me trying to get my phone out of my pocket while holding onto the bike he was trying to wrestle from me an unmarked garda 4x4 pulled over.

Detective got out flashed ID and asked what was going on. Crazy Joe we'll call him starts going on a rant about how he's sick of people getting in front of him and trying to squeeze in. Says how he's reported it before and is going to report me when he gets home tonight. I point to the gap he's talking about, 4 people could walk through shoulder to shoulder with ease.

Garda's jaw drops at the rant, says it's a civil issue and would an apology suffice. Joe says it would then walks away down the path with the bike.
Garda turns to me and says "That guy has mental issues" and we both go our separate way.

How was your Friday morning?

but did you not ask him did he prefer pringles or saussages?

seamus · 07-10-2011 09:49AM

Sounds like you both have mental issues tbh. You held onto the bike and were going to ring the Gardai?

Standard Toaster · 07-10-2011 09:51AM

Dublin bike....thought for a sec Twink gave you a dig in the stomach!

Is this the gap you were trying to "squeeze through" OP??

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:51AM

seamus wrote: »

Sounds like you both have mental issues tbh. You held onto the bike and were going to ring the Gardai?

fyp.

Saila · 07-10-2011 09:53AM

Standard Toaster wrote: »

Is this the gap you were trying to "squeeze through" OP??

ghost! :eek:

Captain Darling · 07-10-2011 09:55AM

I would have paid good money to see the five minute stand off between two mentalists.

leggo · 07-10-2011 10:08AM

smash wrote: »

What's the difference between a Dublin bike and a regular bike?

You can fit an All-Ireland Trophy in the Dublin bike's basket.

***Oooh he went there...***

stovelid · 07-10-2011 10:11AM

Don't argue with cyclist nuts. Just whack them.

lastlaugh · 07-10-2011 10:14AM

stovelid wrote: »

Don't argue with cyclist nuts. Just whack them.

Watch out, there's a 'hard man' about!

Dublin Bike right in the stomach!!

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