My god you got so thin, were you sick or something

foxyboxer · 19-09-2011 05:00PM

pajunior wrote: »

Who orders seconds at a resteraunt?

Condescending Fat People?

trixie_belle12 · 19-09-2011 05:00PM

Live with this most days as my housemate chooses to (what I consider) overeat whilst I tend to eat quite healthily on the whole anyway and excercise regularly. Had her mother staying with us at one point and was subjected to the two of them commenting on and making snide remarks about my food intake. Mind your own f*** business!! Nevermind the fact that they're both overweight! :mad:

daveyeh · 19-09-2011 05:01PM

If some fat f**k feels free to comment on your weight between fistfuls of pie and cake, whats wrong with you doing the same?

Treat people as they treat you.

yeppydeppy · 19-09-2011 05:03PM

Temptamperu wrote: »

Non-alcoholics?

Non-alcoholics - that would imply most people who drink socially. I'd hardly call having more than one glass of wine with dinner alcoholism.

But back on topic - I think OP was correct in what he did and said. Over weight people need to look at themselves first - I know I did.

Eathrin · 19-09-2011 05:04PM

I'm both taller and lighter than you OP, but when I get asked about being skinny it's not because I'm not eating, I have a huge appetite! Must be high metabolism.

I think you were slightly in the wrong as they probably said it with a bit of humour and not as an insult.

uberwolf · 19-09-2011 05:06PM

trixie_belle12 wrote: »

Live with this most days as my housemate chooses to (what I consider) overeat whilst I tend to eat quite healthily on the whole anyway and excercise regularly. Had her mother staying with us at one point and was subjected to the two of them commenting on and making snide remarks about my food intake. Mind your own f*** business!! Nevermind the fact that they're both overweight! :mad:

Have a bmi chart printed in preparation for the mothers next visit.

Dangerous Man · 19-09-2011 05:06PM

Cian A wrote: »

I'm both taller and lighter than you OP, but when I get asked about being skinny it's not because I'm not eating, I have a huge appetite! Must be high metabolism.

I think you were slightly in the wrong as they probably said it with a bit of humour and not as an insult.

What, that he was ill? Nothing funny about that. And, even if it could be construed that they did say it with a bit of humour it doesn't follow that the OP has no right to be offended nor does it follow that he can't make a remark regarding their weight, in return. Quid Pro Quo.

trixie_belle12 · 19-09-2011 05:07PM

foxyboxer wrote: »

I'm 6ft and 12 stone. Not exactly skinny but more 'streamlined'

But I used to be 15 stone 2lbs.
Not exactly obese but overweight.

As I progressively slimmed down, comments from family were negative "You're wasting away", "You're like an extra from Schinder's List" etc etc. I would have loved for someone to point out to me that I was turning into a fat f*cker when I was clearly overweight. Just had to realise it myself and rectify it.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a taboo around discussing weight issues with overweight people and society is heading towards acceptance of being overweight as the 'norm'. and people like the OP at their desired weight as sickly and strange.

I also think this reflects the Irish attitudes of not being happy for people when they are happy with themselves or an achievement but instead the pervading air of begrudgery that seems to permeate this country...

MungBean · 19-09-2011 05:10PM

gargleblaster wrote: »

I see your point but you know how self-conscious some skinny people can be about being skinny. It's hard to see how it's any different from asking a fat person if they've been binge eating, and saying they look so fat. It's just not polite.

The person may have not meant to be insulting but obviously being skinny is something that many people feel self-conscious about.

I am self conscious about many things but I dont use that as an excuse to insult people and be cruel. Notice the way the fat guy didnt resort to being a child and throwing insults. He did what the op should have done in the first place, act like a man and just say it was insulting. Op needs to grow up

19-09-2011 05:22PM

TiltedBrain wrote: »

Gonna have to call bull**** on your story there op,

There's no way somebody has 2 dinners, 2 deserts and 3 slices of cake.

Loads of people would. I can stuff my face when I'm starving, especially when the food is free. And I'm a size 10. I can only imagine how hungry obese people get.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 19-09-2011 05:24PM

Well it does sound like the OP over-reacted or took the fat person up wrong, but I guess they were there so they know best.

And I get this a lot too, I'm not super-skinny or anything but I am at the lower end of the healthy weight range for my height. Actually I was at home recently and for whatever reason saw a lot of my parents' friends that I hadn't seen for a while and my god did they feel like they had free reign to comment. "You're wasting away!" "I hope you're eating enough" etc, and poking me, ****ING POKING ME. Among people my own age it seems to be perfectly OK to call me a "skinny bitch" whenever food or clothes or anything like that is brought up, but I'd never (and they'd never) call someone a "fat bitch" in the same situation. Whenever it comes up I'm just sitting there, really uncomfortable waiting for the comments.

Android 666 · 19-09-2011 05:31PM

OP, was the person that asked you were you sick somebody you've known a while? It could have actually been something that surprised them and not meant as an insult. If somebody you see on a regular basis does the whole 'oh, you're wasting away' thing and knows you're making an effort to keep trim then they're being a tool. If it's somebody that hasn't seen you in a while the first reaction for them could be to think you must have been sick. I can't imagine there be malice in that instance. And if there was, would you not be content with the knowledge that at least you're not a bloater like the other fella and be a bit happy for yourself rather than stewing in righteous indignation?

annascott · 19-09-2011 05:37PM

I have lost count of the number of people who have told me how much better I look for losing weight, then proceed on to tell me how awful I looked when I gained weight earlier this year. What can I say, but agree with them. I was overweight. I was ashamed. I have lost the weight again.

The general feeling is that we would all be naturally overweight if we weren't really careful about what we eat and that thin people are thin because they are so controlled. It is beyond comprehension that someone would actually want to make themselves under weight. (Unless you are Victoria Beckham). Being under weight is always considered a little sinister. It is more acceptible to be 20lbs over weight than 10lbs under. Twenty over doesn't put someone in the 'fat' category, but ten under makes someone look ill. If someone wants to enjoy rich food, they need to exercise more to avoid weight gain. If a thin person wants to do lots of exercise, they should eat more to avoid weight loss.

Your dining companion was impolite to comment to you and would have been taken aback if you had told her that you had a debilitating disease. However, if you are underweight, take it on the chin.

Now, go and eat something!

Saila · 19-09-2011 05:37PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I am sick of it.
Being 6foot and 12 ½ stone weight and plays football 3 nights a week and swims twice weekly I was told the other day at a do “my god you got so thin have you been sick or something?”
I found it condescending since the person who made the remark is verging on the obese.
During the meal I decided to do a bit of research and found .....

"yeah, Im dying of the health disease

"

would have been my answer to them

4leto · 19-09-2011 05:38PM

Very thin tall people can look sickly but overweight people seldom look sickly even when they are.

RhubarbCrumble · 19-09-2011 05:43PM

I'm 5 3" (female) and have always been thin (everyone in my family is) I'm usually about 7 1/2 stone, but have lost a few pounds recently due to being under a lot of stress. Not a deliberate thing, it's just what happens to me when I'm under pressure. The amount of people who seem to think it's okay to tell me that I'm "too thin" is unbelieveable, and I have to say the majority of them are FAT people!
I wonder how come it's okay for them to tell me I'm too thin, but wouldn't be okay if I turned around to them and said "Oh you're way too fat you know"?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 19-09-2011 05:45PM

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

I'm 5 3" (female) and have always been thin (everyone in my family is) I'm usually about 7 1/2 stone, but have lost a few pounds recently due to being under a lot of stress. Not a deliberate thing, it's just what happens to me when I'm under pressure. The amount of people who seem to think it's okay to tell me that I'm "too thin" is unbelieveable, and I have to say the majority of them are FAT people!
I wonder how come it's okay for them to tell me I'm too thin, but wouldn't be okay if I turned around to them and said "Oh you're way too fat you know"?

My aunt came out with a great line, she'd seen a few people making comments to me and said "The next person who says that is getting told 'you're the fifth fat arsed woman to say that to her today'"

4leto · 19-09-2011 05:53PM

i'm a guy 6/3 and I went through a period of weight loss due to over exercise and not eating the proper food.

But people did say I looked ill but I did, my skin was palid and my cheek bones were starting to protrude.

I did go to a doctor and he sent me for tests, but nothing I was as fit as a fiddle. I now have a healthy looking height weight ratio, but I am in no way as fit.

zyxwvu · 19-09-2011 05:58PM

The fat people, from their point of view, see it as more desirable to be underweight than overweight. They would also likely prefer to be at the lower end of the healthy weight scale, than be underweight.

The thin people, from their point of view, would probably also prefer to be underweight rather than be overweight, although they would ultimately prefer to be somewhere in between.

Fair enough if an underweight person gets annoyed by somebody nonchalantly pointing out to them that they are underweight, but I think even they realise that the person is usually saying it in a manner that isn't meant to be insulting.

gargleblaster · 19-09-2011 05:58PM

4leto wrote: »

I now have a healthy looking height weight ratio, but I am in no way as fit.

Oh how I wish more people would realize how often this is the case. Then maybe more of them would keep their helpful (or not so helpful) comments to themselves.

MistyCheese · 19-09-2011 06:00PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I ate 1 dessert to their 2.

I had no cake to their 3 slices.

There was dessert and cake?

Is there any left?

sunflower27 · 19-09-2011 06:01PM

This really is talk about having your cake and eating it

4leto · 19-09-2011 06:05PM

But it also has to be said, if you are gaining weight you are OK but gaining to much weight you are potentially giving yourself problems down the line.

BUT if you are rapidly loosing weight (unlike the OP who knows why she has lost the weight) you maybe already in trouble. This is a sympton of a lot of serious illness.

So if I had a friend who I thought had rapidly lost weight for no reason, I mention it out of concern. As you usually don't notice if you are loosing weight when that loss is unintentional.

Irish Guitarist · 19-09-2011 06:27PM

It sounds like the person is concerned about your health whereas your comment came across as offensive. They asked if you were feeling alright, they didn't say you looked like total crap or anything.

It's easier to put on weight than it is to lose weight so I can see why someone might be concerned when they see someone lose a few pounds.

The House Of Wolves · 19-09-2011 10:08PM

My whole life "OH MY GAWD YOU ARE SO SKINNY! are you anorexic? you must never eat!"
Um, I don't say "OH MY GAWD YOU ARE SO FAT! are you obese or just overweight!? how much do you eat?"

It gets so, so annoying. And people trying to force "ah, just another slice!" of cake into me "you need fattening up, you do!"
No thanks, I just have a fast metabolism and do exercise.

Kevin Duffy · 19-09-2011 10:22PM

I'm calling shenanigans OP - there's no way you understood a word fatty was saying when she was stuffing her cakehole with that lot.

FueledByAisling · 19-09-2011 10:33PM

foxyboxer wrote: »

I'm 6ft and 12 stone. Not exactly skinny but more 'streamlined'

But I used to be 15 stone 2lbs.
Not exactly obese but overweight.

As I progressively slimmed down, comments from family were negative "You're wasting away", "You're like an extra from Schinder's List" etc etc. I would have loved for someone to point out to me that I was turning into a fat f*cker when I was clearly overweight. Just had to realise it myself and rectify it.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a taboo around discussing weight issues with overweight people and society is heading towards acceptance of being overweight as the 'norm'. and people like the OP at their desired weight as sickly and strange.

You said it all my friend! But I think it's more of an Irish thing to be honest with you. If I lose a few pounds i'm automatically asked 'Am I feeling okay? Have I been sick? Is there anything wrong' and true like some other posters who've mentioned it is mainly overweight people who say these comments where as in any other european country weight loss would be encouraged and complimented as long it was healthy and not more on the eating disorder side of things.

And 2 years ago I went through a rough time and gained a good few pounds due to family problems and exams etc and didn't realise how bad it got until I saw pictures a while ago and I would have really appreciated someone to have come up to me and been like ' Here mate you need to shift a few pounds' after all they are only looking out for your health and well being right?

Scealta_saol · 19-09-2011 10:42PM

I've been the same weight for ten years now. I would love to say that it's from watching what I eat etc but it's not. I'm just skinny. And I do have a smaller appetite than most people. So when people are talking about diets etc and I chime in, I'm instantly met with disapproved looks and exclamations of "I hope you're not talking of dieting!" No I'm not but I'm aware of what I have to do to not gain weight... I don't like people assuming that I have some sort of eating disorder and that it's alright for them to comment on it..

And like other posters, I have noticed it's usually people of a heavier frame.

But in saying that, I don't attack them for it. I don't think you were right to say what you did OP. If it offended you that much you should've just told them.

Thrill · 19-09-2011 10:46PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

This particular person took then took offence to this and challenged as to why I had to comment on their weight to which I simply said they were first to fault my weight.

People like that want to have their cake and eat it too.

westendgirlie · 19-09-2011 10:50PM

Let them eat cake!

My god you got so thin, were you sick or something

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