Who should you give up your seat for?

LeeHoffmann · 31-08-2011 09:40AM #1

So, we know to give up a seat for a pregnant woman or an elderly person (i.e. retirement aged or close to) or anybody who has any obvious physical disability that would make standing difficult. Is that it? I thought so. However a group of people in work this morning were discussing it and one of them said "these young ones wouldn't give up their seat for women in their 50's/60's". (This woman is aged in her 50's/60's and I'm a 'young one' so I decided not to go any deeper into it). Is it generally considered polite to give up seats for people in their 50's? I would have thought that would be kind of patronising - are 50 year olds that frail? And why is it specifically women in their 50's that are targetted - i.e. why don't men in their 50's deserve a seat? Are there other groups that I'm also ignoring who also deserve a seat? What about kids?

I'm just looking for simple answers here so I can compile a mental list - who should you give up a seat for?

(wanted to include a poll but don't know how!)

efb · 31-08-2011 09:43AM

Aged 60+ female 70+ male
Infirmed
Pregnant
New mothers (with their baby)
Ppl with young children
Ppl with limited mobility

xzanti · 31-08-2011 09:44AM

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

So, we know to give up a seat for a pregnant woman or an elderly person

A lot of people actually don't seeing as pregnancy is a choice..

You'd be suprised how many men have to be asked to move from seats in Maternity Hospitals to let pregnant women sit down. It was a regular occurance in the Rotunda.. Every time I went in for check ups I'd see it :rolleyes:

vibe666 · 31-08-2011 09:46AM

i saw the same thing in holles street when we were in getting check-ups before my wife gave birth. the utter ignorance was astounding sometimes.

wild_cat · 31-08-2011 09:50AM

I usually hop up for the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

I'm a bit shy at moving when a buggy gets onto the bus due to the fact that they are meant to fold them up but often don't and it causes untold confusion when a wheel chair user also boards the bus.

I understand some people not being able to give up their seat in a normal hospital... but in a maternity hospital? Surely not all of the fellows who remain seated have an under lying health condition?

mathie · 31-08-2011 09:51AM

I usually hop up on the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

Galtee · 31-08-2011 09:52AM

vibe666 wrote: »

i saw the same thing in holles street when we were in getting check-ups before my wife gave birth. the utter ignorance was astounding sometimes.

I know exactly what you mean however, in the majority of cases I don't think it's ignorance, I think it may be more to do with lack of confidence. Personally I would give up my seat for anyone that I thought needed it regardless of what age they are. Pregnant women, old men and women, people with disability, kids who look like they might run all over the train/bus if not seated or are just looking tired etc. Makes no real odds what age they are, if they look like they need it then I give it up.

wild_cat · 31-08-2011 09:55AM

mathie wrote: »

I usually hop up on the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

http://www.overclock.net/attachments/software-news/201785d1300996196-news-com-au-apple-removes-gay-i-see-what-you-did-there

CardBordWindow · 31-08-2011 09:56AM

Does it count if you offer a hot girl the chance to sit on your lap?

mikemac · 31-08-2011 09:57AM

The list in Post two

However, on city buses there is only supposed to be one buggy and if a wheelchair gets on that buggy should be folded too

So I don't realy see the need to move if there are two or three buggies at the front of bus and I'm sitting at the front also
Those should be folded, rules are clear there should only be one

mickrock · 31-08-2011 09:58AM

I often ask young women if they'd like to sit on my lap but they all refuse.

Young people today are so rude and ungrateful.

xzanti · 31-08-2011 10:00AM

Galtee wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean however, in the majority of cases I don't think it's ignorance, I think it may be more to do with lack of manners. .

FYP

Nah seriously though, maybe a very small percentage of them might be too shy or whatever to stand up and offer the seat.. but I'm talking about men actually having to be told by staff to move out of the seats and they'd be scowling and rolling the eyes about having to move..

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it on several occasions with my own eyes..

Galtee · 31-08-2011 10:06AM

xzanti wrote: »

FYP

Nah seriously though, maybe a very small percentage of them might be too shy or whatever to stand up and offer the seat.. but I'm talking about men actually having to be told by staff to move out of the seats and they'd be scowling and rolling the eyes about having to move..

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it on several occasions with my own eyes..

WOW, I'm really shocked at that.

Mr. Presentable · 31-08-2011 10:07AM

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

MonkeyTennis · 31-08-2011 10:08AM

a pregnant granny

pancuronium · 31-08-2011 10:16AM

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

angelfire9 · 31-08-2011 10:22AM

Mr. Presentable wrote: »

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

You are kidding right?? :rolleyes:
Being pregnant may be a "lifestyle choice" but its bloody hard work

Lollipops23 · 31-08-2011 10:23AM

I would give up my seat to anyone infirm or a clearly pregnant woman.

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

Eever · 31-08-2011 10:24AM

I would give up my seat for:

pregnant women (I understand why some people wouldn't, I just personally would)

older people (I'm thinking 60+)

people with obvious physical medical/mobility issues

Do you know what drives me especially mad though? It's young women who accept seats from polite gentlemen. Every so often I'll be standing on the dart and an older man will offer me his seat because that's just the way some of them are, very mannerly. I always thank them but refuse the seat as I'm 26 years old and have no issues with standing, but it really gets to me when I see other able bodied young women my age that actually accept the seat from these kindly older gents who in all likelihood probably need it more than the young women do.

I get the dart with my dad in the mornings and we'll both be standing when a seat frees up - I always give it to him as he is (in a word) banjaxed. He's on his feet all day in work, works very long hours with little or no breaks, has a banjaxed knee, hip and shoulder and these problems are quite obvious when he walks. And yet if there is another perfectly able bodied female nearby who has just heard me say "no dad, you need the seat" after he's offered it to me, she will still take him up on the offer of the seat. I know it's his own fault for offering but it just really annoys me when these young women take advantage of good natured men like that.

MugMugs · 31-08-2011 10:26AM

generally if they smell of piss you should give them your seat. That goes for old people and pregnant people or old pregnant people.

Eever · 31-08-2011 10:52AM

pancuronium wrote: »

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

See I just don't understand this. I think it's great that you were brought up with manners and all that but at the same time I feel like you're just adding to this sense of entitlement that some women have.

And standing up thus making her feel so awkward about it that she has to sit down is a bit odd to me. I know you've the best of intentions but it would make me so uncomfortable if someone did that to me.

Lollipops23 wrote: »

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

Yeah my dad is the same, despite the problems he has, a young lady did offer her seat to him once and he had the same reaction. I hadn't really thought about it like that.

Carrieleee · 31-08-2011 10:59AM

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I would give up my seat to anyone infirm or a clearly pregnant woman.

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

I have seen this happening, someone will get quite distressed when offered a seat and insist that they are fit and able.

Generally 50/60 are able to stand...though some may have an impairment, it's hard to know. People take offence at the smallest things!

The way I look at it is if you see someone you feel deserves your seat then offer it to them. If they say no they say no, you've done your best.

orourkeda · 31-08-2011 11:09AM

only for a blow job

stupidusername · 31-08-2011 11:23AM

I would only judge someone for not giving up their seat for someone who clearly needs it. pregnant women don't automatically need a seat, because they're pregnant. same goes for older people.

I'd look at the person and make a judgement for myself. Though I did notice how few people will help you out when you're on crutches and genuinely need help. it's about 50/50, the people who will or won't move out of your way, considering how awkward it is to do, or people that will or won't help you do something, when you're clearly struggling. and I found women with buggies just as ignorant then too.

CardBordWindow wrote: »

Does it count if you offer a hot girl the chance to sit on your lap?

ha, i'd do it!

pancuronium wrote: »

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

you're not serious, right?

FloatingVoter · 31-08-2011 11:30AM

Sit on the top deck (I use Dublin Bus). Avoid the issue completely is my motto.

Angeles · 31-08-2011 11:37AM

I find it hard to understand the mentality of needing to give up a seat at all.

Its kinda ironic how were conditioned to give up a seat to an elderly person who's gonna take your seat for 20 mins on a bus, just to get up and spend the next few hours walking around shops in town..
Same goes for anyone.
If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

This is not to say i won't give up my seat out of politeness to someone who looks like they really need it.. example being an exhausted old person after walking town for hours..
But i can't stand the attitude of needing to give up just for the sake of someone being of age.

Ever wonder what happens when there are only old people on a bus and more old people get on, thats right, they stand like the rest!

flowerbee · 31-08-2011 11:38AM

When i was pregnant i was coming home on the train to Longford after a stressful apt in holles st. Got on at Connolly. All carriges full to the brim. I know everyone paid for a seat but i was eight months pregnant and not one person let me have their seat. I finally got a seat at Mullingar. Not good enough when your legs, ankles and feets have trippled in size and are red and sore.

pancuronium · 31-08-2011 11:39AM

Eever wrote: »

See I just don't understand this. I think it's great that you were brought up with manners and all that but at the same time I feel like you're just adding to this sense of entitlement that some women have.

And standing up thus making her feel so awkward about it that she has to sit down is a bit odd to me. I know you've the best of intentions but it would make me so uncomfortable if someone did that to me.

Don't get me wrong the reason I would rather stand isn't to make you feel better about taking the seat its because I feel more comfortable leaving you with a choice as not everyone would feel comfortable accepting the seat from someone they don't know & it is now your choice to stand or sit makes no odds to me............i'm a me feiner like that like I said it makes me more comfortable

Carrieleee · 31-08-2011 11:39AM

Angeles wrote: »

If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

Just because you're disabled doesn't mean you sit in the house all day. It doesn't mean that you can drive. And it doesn't mean that you have others to ferry you around either.

inforfun · 31-08-2011 11:53AM

Carrieleee wrote: »

Just because you're disabled doesn't mean you sit in the house all day. It doesn't mean that you can drive. And it doesn't mean that you have others to ferry you around either.

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

stupidusername · 31-08-2011 11:59AM

inforfun wrote: »

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

probably just to piss you off.

Who should you give up your seat for?

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