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What's the number 1 thing you've learned from fillums?

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭smk89


    jdooley28 wrote: »
    if a dog has shifty eyes its evil



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Even in the most crime ridden neighbourhoods Americans will never lock their cars.

    Everywhere in London is within earshot of big ben while the Eiffel tower can be seen from everywhere in Paris !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,686 ✭✭✭amacca


    Speedboats are just unbelievably cool...if you have one you will literally be fighting them off with a stick.


    Don't go hunting around in your spouses private things - you will find something that will derail your idyllic little existence there....better to live a life of blissful ignorance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,307 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Alien spacecraft always crashland near some tiny little one-horse town in the USA.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,754 ✭✭✭oldyouth


    If you hear weird noises in the basement, always go down to investigate,especially if the light that was working earlier, is now broken. It helps to ask "is anybody there?"


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,488 ✭✭✭Yahew


    If you want to take down a highly advanced Alien ship have a 1996 mac laptop handy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Oscar the grouch


    never question why the front door you locked five minutes ago is open again...just carry on blissfully unaware....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Bodhidharma


    Cut the blue wire


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    If you want to listen in on someones telephone conversations unscrew the mouthpiece and drop a small coin shaped piece of metal across the terminals. It will always fit perfectly and enable you to hear both sides of the conversation. Dont forget to record everything on a 1950's vintage open reel tape recorder although you wont really need it because The subject will almost immediately call someone and start discussing whatever it is youre interested in and you wont have to sit through hours/days of conversation on mundane irrelevant topics.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    It's somewhat counter-intuitive, but never, under any circumstances go on a road trip with a gaggle of beautiful teenage girls / women in hotpants. You, and everybody bar one girl, will die horribly.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,968 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    With a bit of hacking skill I can probably shut down the ESB network here from my living room
    Anything is possible with one computer


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 490 ✭✭doomed


    If you hear loud sinister music get the f**k out of the house.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,134 ✭✭✭Duddy


    If you hear someone in your house, always walk SLOWLY and LOUDLY, and ask "IS SOMEONE THERE?" in a loud voice. That way, the killer will know you're there AND that you've heard him, he'll be forced to kill you then, none of this getting quietly exiting the house and ringing the guards shíte.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,396 ✭✭✭EKRIUQ


    The Titanic, use your cutlery from the outside and work in.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Oscar the grouch


    oldyouth wrote: »
    If you hear weird noises in the basement, always go down to investigate,especially if the light that was working earlier, is now broken. It helps to ask "is anybody there?"


    And always tell everyone you'll be right back


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Most TV sets in America have only rabbits ears for an aerial and yet give a perfect picture. Even if the household is on cable theyll keep the rabbits ears.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 93 ✭✭eirn


    If a murderous lunatic breaks in to your house, common sense will desert you and instead of running out the back door, you will run around the house screaming, probably upstairs, to make escape as difficult as possible.

    Oh, and successful, handsome men (e.g. Hugh Grant, Colin Firth types) are strangely drawn to ditzy, slightly overweigh, but lovable women.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    Never go down to the basement alone:eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭Teddy_Picker


    The dog dies at the end.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,968 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    You see that bookworm girl, dowdy clothes, thick glasses and hair tied up?

    She's smoking hot but doesn't know it yet


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Oscar the grouch


    Glasses are the perfect disguise.....who knew??


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,718 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    If you are paralysed, paint yourself blue and you will have weird hair sex


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    It never rains in America without lightning as well. However the electricity supply rarely fails during a thunderstorm (unless one happens to be staying in a large old house when its almost a certainty) The lights will always flash on and off a couple of times to warn of their impending failure and although the supply is usually restored surprisingly quickly theres always enough time for at least one person to be murdered.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 895 ✭✭✭Mocha Joe


    Halle Berry is a goer.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Beautiful women can't resist Adam Sandler and his middle-aged unfunny, plain-looking male friends, despite their lack of attractive qualities.

    Despite this incredible luck, they'll still ignore or not notice the beautiful and sweet women who adore them in favour of chasing another woman of relatively equal attractiveness who is clearly a horrible person and unattracted to them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 468 ✭✭J K


    There are cats in America.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Nazis love practising their conversational English with each other, so there's no need to worry about subtitles or not understanding them if there's no native English speaker characters for them to talk to.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 92 ✭✭soyawhatsup


    That every single bag of shopping that has ever existed EVER must contain at least one baguette of some description.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Any task from the most simple to the most complex can be accomplished by rapidly pressing a random selection of keys on the keyboard.

    A computer with a modem can be used to hack into any other computer in the world with the biggest difficulty being an easily guessed/hacked password.

    Regardless how sensitive their content or function may be all computers owned by the CIA and US military are inexplicably connected to the regular public telephone network to facilitate such hacking.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Oscar the grouch


    Eddie Murphy is not funny any more


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