Were you ever approached by someone when you were younger/asked if you needed a lift?

SarahBeep! · 21-07-2011 02:50PM

Ditch wrote: »

The saddest part about this is that it's probably true

Yet, when did it become so? Look at how many people here have said something like; " Turns out they knew my folks ..... " And no one, in those days, pointed the finger.

Yet, yes; My neighbour has kids. That puts me into this 'Friend of / Knows my folks' safety zone? Yet, I've seen them out in his front garden some times and have been mortified when they called hullo to me. Because that mean't I had to acknowledge their existence.

As an older man who lives alone? I feel it's more in keeping that I should not even acknowledge them as appearing on my radar.

Truth to tell? I guess kids practically scare me now. Because so much as glancing at one could lead to vile rumours.

Where the fuck did it all go so wrong?

It's the same way everyone os now scared of priests!! I rememebr some of the priests from my parish and school from when I was younger and they were all lovely lovely men. One of the nicest was our schoo, priest and everyone loved it when he's drop into school because he was like everyone's grandad!!

prinz · 21-07-2011 03:17PM

Got offered a lift by a stranger once. I was 20, plastered drunk and extremely lost in a foreign city. He was a postman doing an early morning delivery to the city post offices about 4 am. Asked me if I needed a lift, I told my situation, got in his van, had a chat on the way and he dropped me home right to the door after he had taken a spin round some of his stops. Legend.

Cill Dara Abu · 21-07-2011 03:27PM

I'd never stop to give any young girl a lift even if I knew her, ive heard lots of storys of young girls crying rape on guys and later admitting she made it up all the while the guys life is ruined so I would never put myself in that position and its a sad state of affairs really.

Cat Melodeon · 21-07-2011 04:18PM

When I was about 6, I decided I was going to walk home on my own from school instead of waiting for my older sister. We only lived about 300 yards from the village but for some reason, I decided I was going to stick my thumb out like all the young lads looking for lifts used to do (this was in the 80s when there were no boy racers as no one had any money). A red van pulled up and a man I'd never seen before, probably in his early 30s, asked me who I was and where I was going. I told him, he told me to hop in and off we went. We stopped about 7 seconds later outside my house, he brought me to the door and told my mam who promptly nearly died of heart failure and bet the arse off me. Lesson learned.

I did have a much more horrible experience when I was 12 and cycling home from secondary school. A guy on a motorbike drove past me, then stalled his bike and pulled up. As I cycled up, he asked me if I could give him a hand to fix his bike. Being a nice girl, I said ok. As I was helping him prop up the bike, he leaned against me and trapped me against the bike and tried to do nasty things. I managed to knock over his bike and got away, hopped on my bicycle and sped down to the nearest house. I was mortified, just asked the house owner if I could borrow a tyre pump, never said anything about what had happened. I waited til I heard the motorbike speed off in the other direction and then went home. Never told my parents, no idea why. I've always regretted not telling, god knows what or who the fúcker went on to do.

So yeah, that was in the innocent 80s. There might be occasional panics and scaremongering going on nowadays, but it's nothing new and like the case in Ferbane the other day, there is good reason to be cautious. Many kids, no matter how savvy, automatically accept the authority of an adult and fail to react sensibly. Abductions etc might be rare occurances, but the consequences are pretty horrific.

knird evol · 21-07-2011 04:32PM

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

I'd never stop to give any young girl a lift even if I knew her, ive heard lots of storys of young girls crying rape on guys and later admitting she made it up all the while the guys life is ruined so I would never put myself in that position and its a sad state of affairs really.

Well the Judges instructions to you were fairly clear.
You can pretend it's your own idea though.

CrazyRabbit · 21-07-2011 04:51PM

Ditch wrote: »

The saddest part about this is that it's probably true

Yet, when did it become so? Look at how many people here have said something like; " Turns out they knew my folks ..... " And no one, in those days, pointed the finger.

Yet, yes; My neighbour has kids. That puts me into this 'Friend of / Knows my folks' safety zone? Yet, I've seen them out in his front garden some times and have been mortified when they called hullo to me. Because that mean't I had to acknowledge their existence.

As an older man who lives alone? I feel it's more in keeping that I should not even acknowledge them as appearing on my radar.

Truth to tell? I guess kids practically scare me now. Because so much as glancing at one could lead to vile rumours.

Where the fuck did it all go so wrong?

Full blame goes to the media for creating hysteria, & openly lying about some cases to make them 'worse'.

Mammanabammana · 21-07-2011 05:36PM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Full blame goes to the media for creating hysteria, & openly lying about some cases to make them 'worse'.

FULL blame? I would have thought that at least some of the blame should go to the people driving around trying to get kids into their cars with the full intention of raping, abusing or murdering them.

InTheTrees · 21-07-2011 05:36PM

I remember wandering around Dublin when i was around 11 and a guy standing on a street corner, stopped me, asked who I was, what i was doing, where i lived etc etc, then he asked me if wanted to "earn some money?".

I said I didnt and ran off...

I still cant believe my parents let me roam free like they did but this was back in the 70's.

Locker10a · 21-07-2011 09:34PM

[QUOTE

So yeah, that was in the innocent 80s. There might be occasional panics and scaremongering going on nowadays, but it's nothing new and like the case in Ferbane the other day, there is good reason to be cautious. Many kids, no matter how savvy, automatically accept the authority of an adult and fail to react sensibly. Abductions etc might be rare occurances, but the consequences are pretty horrific.[/QUOTE]

Your right its nothing new! I remember a story my Gran Aunt told me ! She was living in rural 1930's Mayo at the time and a teenager at the time. She was cycling home on a lonly quiet country road no cars no houses, etc. As she was cycling she met a man comming towards her she cycled past him and he immediatly turned around and started to follow her. She was alarmed and picked up speed (not easy in a skirt on a 1930s bicycle) he followed her and began to chase her on his bike! Then and this bit confused me i tink he got infront or beside her so she quickly braked and turned around and sped off in the other direction as she had passed a house with people outside further back the road and decided to head back there! He turned around again and followed her but she made it to this house and was escorted home by a few people!
Anyway the guy was eventually caught in Galway i think he was pervert or rapist or somthing but she was lucky!

While i ecourage people to be safe i think we can go to far! Isint it British Airways the have policy that dosent allow men to sit beside chrildren on flights(unless its their father etc.) I think this is a bit to far, tbh! Most flights have plenty of passengers on them so nobody would try anything and even if it was an fairly empty flight the crew are onboard for passenger safety. Now im all for protecting kids but i really dont think there is a high risk to kids on a flight!

Ditch · 21-07-2011 10:59PM

Locker10a wrote: »

Isint it British Airways the have policy that dosent allow men to sit beside chrildren on flights(unless its their father etc.) I think this is a bit to far, tbh! Most flights have plenty of passengers on them so nobody would try anything and even if it was an fairly empty flight the crew are onboard for passenger safety.

Fair comment. But, saying that; Who would have believed anyone would have sat there, cracking one off to an Air Stewardess on an Irish airline, in 2011?

Dunno. I honestly don't. My wife worked in a hospital for a spell. She blew the whistle when she saw a known paedo' sitting beside some kiddies bed on the ward.

She knew this was a convicted paedo', because there was a photo of Her pinned up in the staff area! :eek: How unthinkable's That?

Women who will sexually interfere with little girl children? Grown men who will jack it, on a full plane, in plain sight?

Damn right some business is going to consider the possibility that some raging lunatic may one day be found shoving a kiddies face into their lap, mid flight.

Because, either the whole damn world's gone to rat sh!t. Or else we're only just now starting to recognise it's always been this way

Elliemental · 21-07-2011 11:07PM

Yes, but I ran a mile. I was brought up on "stranger danger" and "Charlie Says.."

While I'm on the subject, does anyone else remember this lunatic cat's cacophanus yowling?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDu7yYHxZr0

The Princess Bride · 21-07-2011 11:17PM

Yes.
Was walking home from primary school with my sisters and a man stopped & offered us a lift.We refused -he told us he was our neighbour.(Yeah right,you are.)
We were scared s**tless and walked on, as he drove away.I'll never forget my heart racing & legs like jelly.
When we told our mother,& described the car,she informed us that he had recently married the lady 2 houses away from us-even now,years later,I cringe when I see him.:o

Ditch · 21-07-2011 11:27PM

Elliemental wrote: »

While I'm on the subject, does anyone else remember this lunatic cat's cacophanus yowling?

Thanks for the best laugh I've had all night! 'Charlie' really was a Travis Bickle moment inducing bit of TV.

I don't s'pose ye remember the one where the kiddie's skipping along a wall. 'Walls' mouth opens ans the kid says; " Look, Ma! Crocodile! " And the old dear, without glancing, says something about keeping ones teeth as clean .....

CrazyRabbit · 22-07-2011 12:18AM

Mammanabammana wrote: »

FULL blame? I would have thought that at least some of the blame should go to the people driving around trying to get kids into their cars with the full intention of raping, abusing or murdering them.

When was the last time it actually happened? I mean, abductions by strangers are extremely rare. The vast majority of sexual abuse is done by people known to & trusted by the victim. But the media has built up this perception that there are paedophiles waiting on every corner and behind every bush just waiting for people to take their eyes off their kids.

So yes, the media is responsible for the hysteria & subsequent paranoia. Concern is warranted as there are indeed dangerous people out there, but not to this extreme.

The Big Red Button · 22-07-2011 12:53AM

When I was about nine, my class went on a school tour up to the "big smoke"

We were walking down O'Connell Street, and my friend and I somehow ended up walking a good bit behind the rest of the class. We were all wearing fluorescent name badges with our first names on them.

An oldish man stopped me and said "Hello *name*, I'm a friend of your father's. He told me that you'd be here today, and to bring you by to my house." I think he also mentioned something about having 7up and chocolate there, I'm can't remember exactly.

Anyways I didn't know the guy, so I just said "no thanks!" and ran to catch up with the teachers. Looking back, it's pretty scary - when I mentioned it to my parents, they definitely did not know this guy. Who knows what might have happened if I'd gone with him!

Then another time, I was about 14. I was walking home from school, and it was raining. A lady stopped and asked if I wanted a lift home. Seeing as she'd stopped to ask, I assumed she was a friend of my parents (a lot of people in my local town would know one or both of my parents), so I got in. She was chatting away to me on the way home, and gave me a towel to dry my hair. As we were driving, I realised she didn't know me or my family. But she was just a genuinely nice lady, and she brought me home, no problems. Very nice of her!

Funnily enough, I was telling my 10 year old sister about this lady the other day. My sister was absolutely shocked and horrified that I'd have even spoken to a person that I didn't know! I guess it's a good thing, in that, if a stranger tried to talk to her, she'd run a mile. It's a bit sad though, at the same time. There are some nice people out there too.

landsleaving · 22-07-2011 12:58AM

I just remembered that a few weeks ago after spraining my ankle playing football a woman stopped to ask me if I needed a lift because I was limping/hopping. I said no because I wasn't going far, but it was really nice of her to offer a complete stranger a lift. I'm sure she'd probably seen me around the area before but still, considering how afraid people are of each other it was damn nice.

I wish I'd taken that lift now actually because I was in far worse shape than I'd first realised

Damn weak ankles.

Kanoe · 22-07-2011 01:11AM

yeah, a priest. he was the new parish priest and was looking for the parochial house, he offered us peanuts if we would show him where it was

Locker10a · 22-07-2011 10:06PM

Kanoe wrote: »

yeah, a priest. he was the new parish priest and was looking for the parochial house, he offered us peanuts if we would show him where it was

that reminds me i was an alterserver when i was young!! We had a lovely parish priest who would always bring me over to his house for biscuts and coke! And he would also get me to do favours like cleaning etc and would give me money to go down the shop and buy a load a sweets! He would always get me to serve Weddings and id make a few bob outta it

i was never alone with him always with one of my two cousins that i served with and he was harmless (in my experience) but i doubt anyone would allow their kid to do what i did then inlight of the Irish holocaust that we have only really just discovered and the horror stories brought with it.

Needler · 22-07-2011 10:39PM

Locker10a wrote: »

i doubt anyone would allow their kid to do what i did then inlight of the Irish holocaust

Which Irish holocaust?

Cossax · 22-07-2011 10:52PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

When I was about nine, my class went on a school tour up to the "big smoke" We were walking down O'Connell Street, and my friend and I somehow ended up walking a good bit behind the rest of the class. We were all wearing fluorescent name badges with our first names on them.

An oldish man stopped me and said "Hello *name*, I'm a friend of your father's. He told me that you'd be here today, and to bring you by to my house." I think he also mentioned something about having 7up and chocolate there, I'm can't remember exactly.

Anyways I didn't know the guy, so I just said "no thanks!" and ran to catch up with the teachers. Looking back, it's pretty scary - when I mentioned it to my parents, they definitely did not know this guy. Who knows what might have happened if I'd gone with him!

Then another time, I was about 14. I was walking home from school, and it was raining. A lady stopped and asked if I wanted a lift home. Seeing as she'd stopped to ask, I assumed she was a friend of my parents (a lot of people in my local town would know one or both of my parents), so I got in. She was chatting away to me on the way home, and gave me a towel to dry my hair. As we were driving, I realised she didn't know me or my family. But she was just a genuinely nice lady, and she brought me home, no problems. Very nice of her!

Funnily enough, I was telling my 10 year old sister about this lady the other day. My sister was absolutely shocked and horrified that I'd have even spoken to a person that I didn't know! I guess it's a good thing, in that, if a stranger tried to talk to her, she'd run a mile. It's a bit sad though, at the same time. There are some nice people out there too.

Similar enough experience, was probably 17/18 and waiting for the bus to school, a guy who looked vaguely familiar stopped the car and offered me a lift. Presumed it was a friend of the parents and got in - I was taller and heavier than him and wasn't overly concerned. Talked away about family and stuff...still not sure who the hell he was but I survived and was dropped off in town, near my school.

BluesBerry · 22-07-2011 10:59PM

When I was in 5th class a man in a range rover stopped to ask me directions I pointed him in the right direction but he asked for me to get in and show him , I said no and ran home, god only knows what would have happened if I got in or maybe he asked innocently and was not thinking who knows

I remember doing the stay safe programe in school at the time so I was aware of strangers etc

LETHAL LADY · 22-07-2011 11:41PM

Not so much approached but I did thumb a lift with a friend one night when we were both about 13. Thumbing lifts was the style of the times.

We were visiting a friend in a neighbouring town and had missed the last bus home. It was a cold dark winter night and I had to get home or I would be grounded. Anyhow this chap about 30 years older stopped and offered us a lift and as we were desperate and naive we both got in. My friend sat in the front and I in the back of his car.

The neon lights on the back window of his small car should have been a tip off that this chap was a bit of a weirdo but needs must.

We were in the car for about 5 minutes when his demeanour changed. He started speaking in a different almost threatening voice and the language he was using scared the bejaysus out of me and my friend. He then began to indicate to a turn off in the wrong direction.

At this point I went into some kind of crazy self-defense mode and I started to yell at him to let us out, that I had taken note of everything about the car and himself. Cannot really remember what else I shouted but he stopped the car and I jumped out onto a fairly busy road with my friend doing the same. I got out first and grabbed my friend as fast as I could. The perv then sped off.

We were both shaken and upset after this and never thumbed a lift again.

fryup · 22-07-2011 11:46PM

never take a lift off strangers kids,

remember this from Mystic River

Einhard · 22-07-2011 11:58PM

I remember this guard arrived on the street, in uniform, in a garda car, and 'cos he was a relative of some neighbour, he offered us all a lift in the car. Everyone hopped in and had a great time, except me cos I was a fooking nerd who didn't accept lifts from strangers.:mad:

fryup · 23-07-2011 12:09AM

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

I'd never stop to give any young girl a lift even if I knew her, ive heard lots of storys of young girls crying rape on guys and later admitting she made it up all the while the guys life is ruined so I would never put myself in that position and its a sad state of affairs really.

not only that, but people will be saying......whats yer man doing giving lifts to young girls?????:cool:

Going Forward · 29-12-2011 02:12AM

seamus wrote: »

Random abductions are insanely rare in this country. Even Philip Cairns is generally not believed to be a "random" abduction, as the main suspect still lives in the locality and has never been arrested on any other charge or implicated in any other incident.

Was that suspect ever brought in for questioning about the case?

Why were they suspected of committing the crime?

Or is it just anecdotal that he/she is a suspect?

Read about the crime in a missing in Ireland book, and remember it from the time, and have just read The Boy in the Attic, so was pondering both..........

Katgurl · 29-12-2011 02:54AM

I was 13 and staying with my cousins in the country. I'd gone out for a cycle and it was a bizarrely hot summer, really roasting hot day. I didn't look like a kid at all even though I felt like one, I easily passed for 16 or 17 which I hated at the time and was really self conscious about and hated being stared at. I was coming back uphill and pushing the bike but not knowing the way took a wrong turn and wound up walking wrong way for miles in heat. I started to feel sunstroked and looked down and my hand was bleeding I didn't know how I'd cut it. A truck pulled over with a man prob in his 50s and I asked him for directions, he said he'd throw bike into back and run me around. He seemed nice, and knew my relatives, I suspected it wasn't smartest but I got in. On way he started asking me how old I was and put his hand on my face said I looked great in my shorts. I started panic and trying to remember what you were supposed to do in awful situations. He pulled car over and put his hand on my thigh and told me twice i was very tempting. I erupted into tears, really lost it in terror got absolutely hysterical sobbing and he looked disgusted and told me to get the **** out. I honestly think it was the sheer babyishness of my reaction that unnerved him. I got out of the truck and sprinted. When I got back to the house I was crying so much and the blood from my hand had dripped onto my hotpants my auntie thought I'd been assaulted and tried call the police but I assured her I hadn't and wouldn't let her saying I'd fallen. I stupidly was worried about leaving the bike behind and didn't want to tell her what had happened. It was years later I realised I definitely should have reported the bastard just for scaring the **** out of me. I went back up the road and he'd flung my bike out onto the road, I wheeled it home and said nothing. If I saw him now I'd knock him out.

Arterialspray · 29-12-2011 03:10AM

Still waiting for a Hard Candy type scenario, where the prospective paedo picks Damien Omen or a young Jeffrey Dalmer type.

sdanseo · 29-12-2011 04:44AM

There was a lad in My primary school who had a scary experience, some local tried to get him into the car - this was a local guy well reputed for being a drug dealer, or so the story went at the time.

Gardaí were called into the school and he told them in the class so I know that much wasn't gossip, they seemed very concerned at the time. That's the closest I've come to me or anyone I know being kidnapped or the like, thank fcuk!

shannon_tek · 29-12-2011 04:54AM

We got an hour lecture if we went anywhere near the road. And were told about 15times a day to stay behind the wall. Now if I see a car pull into our drive I have a weapon at the ready. If i see any of my cuzins near the wall I warn them to stay behind it or they will fall off and will be taken before they know it. But even if i see a car following me happened once I just walk to some randomers house pretend I'm a sales person if i have to.

Were you ever approached by someone when you were younger/asked if you needed a lift?

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