The Difference between guts and balls

Guts is:
Arriving home late after a night out with the boys being met by your wife with a broom and having the guts to ask;
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

Balls is:
Coming home after a night with the boys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say;
"Your next"

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An old man goes up to a prostitute in Cork.

He says "How much do you charge?"

She says "150 euro"

He says "I've got no money, all I have is these two All Ireland medals I won in the 50s"

She says "Ok", takes them and off they go and do the business.

Next night another old man approaches her.

He asks "How much do you charge?"

She replies "150"

He asks "Are you any good?"

She answers "I've two All Ireland medals!"