Do you know what men find sexy?

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 12:57PM #1

The thread on popstars as female role models and a thread in AH about FHM's sexiest females got me thinking. What do women define as sexy in other women or in themselves? On the FHM thread, a poster commented that she was surprised a particular (very beautiful) famous female didn't make it into the top 10 and a poster responded that she was beautiful but not sexy. I hear that bandied around a lot. We all know what most men find sexy (I think). I think I could point out a woman that many men would find sexy...but I seem to get it very wrong sometimes. Women who I think are stunning other men just wouldn't find sexy. Other times I think a woman is so obviously sexy that she's too much but men fancy her. Sometimes I see a woman and think she's too beautiful to be sexy but men love her etc.

As well as this, I think men can get it very wrong a lot of the time. Many men believe women go weak at the knees Mr. Universe types. They'd believe they'd be what women would consider as the perfect man, so I'm interested in hearing from male posters as well as to what they believe a woman finds sexy.

It seems there's some discrepancy as to what both sexes find sexy in women. I know it varies from person to person, so I'm interested in hearing what you ladies think. I have to think about this myself.

Iago · 27-05-2011 12:59PM

Sexy has very little to with looks, and a hell of a lot to do with attitude and comportment

Da Shins Kelly · 27-05-2011 01:12PM

There seems to be girls that are guy girls, and girls that are girl girls, if you know what I mean. I think it's got a lot to do with attitude, rather than just a pretty face. I would consider Angelina Jolie (maybe not now, but in her younger days) a guy girl - smouldering, confident, beautiful, edgy. She seems like the kind of woman who'd be up for anything and could give as good as she gets. On the other hand, someone like Scarlett Johansson has got a very pretty face, but is she as sexy a young Angelina Jolie? I don't know. I know that the women I think are beautiful, for example Helena Bonham Carter, a lot of men are not too gone on.

Corkblowin · 27-05-2011 01:23PM

Iago wrote: »

Sexy has very little to with looks, and a hell of a lot to do with attitude and comportment

Totally agree......I always use Nadine Coyle as an example, no doubting she's beautiful and has a great figure, but not in any way sexy (for me anyway).

Jerrica · 27-05-2011 01:37PM

I'm honestly of the belief that what women find sexy in a man isn't actually a million miles away from what men find sexy in a women:

Confidence, an ability to hold their own, and, of course, that extra je ne said quoi that suggests that they'll rock your brain and your bedroom.

pickarooney · 27-05-2011 02:39PM

You can't tell from a still image if someone is sexy, IMO.

Logical Fallacy · 27-05-2011 02:44PM

pickarooney wrote: »

You can't tell from a still image if someone is sexy, IMO.

Completely agree with this. You can spot if someone is "attractive" from a photo i reckon, "sexy" requires a degree of motion or something.

It's hard to explain. Sexy is about movement, vitality, grace etc.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 02:48PM

pickarooney wrote: »

You can't tell from a still image if someone is sexy, IMO.

But men find photos of half naked women sexy and get off on them hence porn mags. Probably something women don't understand as we don't really get off on naked photos of men like that. Is it the fact that we don't like to admit something so obvious is sexy to men? We try to find a deeper layer to what they actually fancy and get turned on by in reality?

Logical Fallacy · 27-05-2011 02:49PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

But men find photos of half naked women sexy and get off on them hence porn mags. Probably something women don't understand as we don't really get off on naked photos of men like that.

I can pretty much guarantee that the photo itself is merely the catalyst for a mental fantasy though.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 03:01PM

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I can pretty much guarantee that the photo itself is merely the catalyst for a mental fantasy though.

I'm not sure if I could pull off a sexy pose in a photo though. Would you not think that the person has to be sexy to do that?

Silverfish · 27-05-2011 03:54PM

Okay I have tidied up the thread.

Anyone who hasn't grasped the questions asked in the OP will find their post deleted.

Ms.Odgeynist · 27-05-2011 05:26PM

OP, while I appreciate your curiosity/confusion, I think its a lot more simple than the thread is making it.
I like curry, dark chocolate, pickled anything, jeans, loose t-shirts, folk music (Especially Richard Thompson), I lurve coffee and a million other things.
Some of my mates hate pickles!!
Its that simple!!!
I think those compilations of 'sexiest babe' or whatever have a lot more to do with the marketing teams at the magazines and the demographics of those voting that it does with reality.
We like what we like.
There are of course general rules of attraction, but outside those general parameters, anything goes!!!

parker kent · 27-05-2011 06:19PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'm not sure if I could pull off a sexy pose in a photo though. Would you not think that the person has to be sexy to do that?

See I think this is an example of where the sexes mistake what the others like. I don't really care if a girl is pulling a sexy pose in a picture, she just has to be attractive to me. I usually find FHM, Playboy type photos off-putting. As morally offensive as I find paparazzi, they often get the photos of celebrities that I find the most attractive. Either there or red carpet type photos would be my preference. I'm not 100% convinced that girls would always know what I find sexy. Some do, but others seem to just follow the broad trends that appear in movies etc. Whereas I actually like a more real side to women. Which is probably why I'd like the paparazzi type photo.

Anyway, now to answer your question! I know lots of women like lots of different types of men, so I'll just throw out a few ideas about what I think girls find sexy. I think in general the guy that has lean muscle will do well with girls. Think of the average tennis player's body as an example. Muscular but not jacked. I think every guy should know by now that the Mr. Universe type does nothing for most girls. Ditto guys who look like the spend longer in front of the mirror than they do.

I think a lot of girls like tall, broad men or at least men with good arms such as rugby players. The rough and ready look if you will. As in Tommy Bowe, not Cristiano Ronaldo.

Then a lot of girls like the tousled hair, arty type guy. Think of any front man in a band as an example. Brandon Flowers maybe? The slightly tortured poetic type. An in shape version of me is probably in this category! A slightly different version of that type would be the cheeky, funny guy. Russell Brand if you will.

Then the suave look would be popular. The type of guy who looks sharp in a suit. George Clooney or Barack Obama would be that type of guy. They probably tick a few boxes as they would be tall and fairly lean yet muscular (particularly for their ages).

I've noticed a lot of girls find men between 30 and 50 very sexy. Clooney is a good example. Plus there is the change in older women finding David Beckham attractive as he ages. A friend of mine said a few weeks ago that he was turning into a God as he ages. The stubble look or the salt & pepper hair looks would probably suit that type of woman.

Also there are things that both sexes would find attractive in men and women such as bright eyes, good smile etc. A nice body is always popular. Plus I think many women just find power sexy. That's probably common to both sexes. Just that in women it comes out in attraction to politicians and in men towards teachers, nurses etc.

I rambled a little there and left out loads, but I think I hit a few broad areas that women would find sexy! Obviously different girls will like different things. Some will only like taller men. Others will like more delicate men.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 06:22PM

Ms.Odgeynist wrote: »

OP, while I appreciate your curiosity/confusion, I think its a lot more simple than the thread is making it.
I like curry, dark chocolate, pickled anything, jeans, loose t-shirts, folk music (Especially Richard Thompson), I lurve coffee and a million other things.
Some of my mates hate pickles!!
Its that simple!!!
I think those compilations of 'sexiest babe' or whatever have a lot more to do with the marketing teams at the magazines and the demographics of those voting that it does with reality.
We like what we like.
There are of course general rules of attraction, but outside those general parameters, anything goes!!!

I think many women try to put an intellectual slant on what men want when really what they like is much more primal than we want/like to think. Many women will look at another scantly clad woman and presume no man could like someone so "obvious" when in fact that woman will get the attention of most men.

Let me give you an example. You know the girls who die their hair platnum blonde, cover themselves in fake tan, wear high-heels and short skirts....women will cnvince themselves that no man could fancy this kind of woman when porn mags are full of them and if you see someone dressed this way in a bar, she will get a lot of attention from men. I think women don't like to admit it but what a lot of men find sexy is the obviously sexy look.

Again, I can appreciate a good looking girl and I think I know a girl that men would fancy but sometimes I'm left confounded when I see men check out a particular girl on the street (as they do very openly in Madrid).. Some men will call this jealousy if I express my lack of comprehension of their choice but in all honesty, I don't see it. The Kate Middleton and her sister Pippa is an example. I honesty think Kate is the more attractive, sexier one but I've been corrected by almost all men I know that I've mentioned this to.

Same goes for men....a lot of men will presume women fancy the really big, brawny, muscley types when I don't know any woman who goes for that.

parker kent · 27-05-2011 06:28PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

The Kate Middleton and her sister Pippa is an example. I honesty think Kate is the more attractive, sexier one but I've been corrected by almost all men I know that I've mentioned this to.

I'd marry Kate. But Pippa just looks far, far naughtier. She has a cheeky look in those eyes. A peachy arse helps too :pac:

Bodies really do play a massive role in what a lot of men find sexy. I had that debate with a friend one day. The "would you prefer a beautiful face and an OK body, or a fantastic body and an OK face?". Logically I'd say I prefer a face but I know that on nights out bodies stand out more.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 06:47PM

parker kent wrote: »

I'd marry Kate. But Pippa just looks far, far naughtier. She has a cheeky look in those eyes. A peachy arse helps too :pac:

Bodies really do play a massive role in what a lot of men find sexy. I had that debate with a friend one day. The "would you prefer a beautiful face and an OK body, or a fantastic body and an OK face?". Logically I'd say I prefer a face but I know that on nights out bodies stand out more.

See, I just don't see the attraction with her at all. I don't see the sexiness. I see that in Kate. She's pretty, sure, but the sexiness doesn't register. *Not jealous at all by the way...genuinely don't see it before I get attacked by men here*.

parker kent · 27-05-2011 06:52PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

See, I just don't see the attraction with her at all. I don't see the sexiness. I see that in Kate. She's pretty, sure, but the sexiness doesn't register. *Not jealous at all by the way...genuinely don't see it before I get attacked by men here*.

Best way I can explain the difference between the two is like this. Kate is beautiful, the perfect princess. If I fell into a fairy tale and had the possibility of choosing between them I would definitely choose Kate. But the attraction to Pippa is that she has that look that suggests she'd give you a good seeing to in the stable!

Plus like I said above, her body has an awful lot to do with the attention on her. If Kate wore that dress to the wedding, men would probably be saying the same stuff about her. The dress really showed off her figure. Plus there is the fresh factor. We're used to seeing Kate. But a lot of men would never have seen Pippa before so she was unexpectedly hot.

Ickle Magoo · 27-05-2011 06:55PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

See, I just don't see the attraction with her at all. I don't see the sexiness. I see that in Kate. She's pretty, sure, but the sexiness doesn't register. *Not jealous at all by the way...genuinely don't see it before I get attacked by men here*.

And yet, as a female, I find Pippa far more attractive and sexy than Kate. It's surely just down to personal preference rather than it being a fact that X is sexy while X is not? I think there are certain shared traits that lend themselves to being sexy but even those marketed as being the sexiest people around have their detractors...I don't think there is a magic formula.

seenitall · 27-05-2011 06:56PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Let me give you an example. You know the girls who die their hair platnum blonde, cover themselves in fake tan, wear high-heels and short skirts....women will cnvince themselves that no man could fancy this kind of woman when porn mags are full of them and if you see someone dressed this way in a bar, she will get a lot of attention from men. I think women don't like to admit it but what a lot of men find sexy is the obviously sexy look.

Yes, but this is as long as it is understood you are talking in the strictest possible meaning of "sexy" (as in "f..kable"); remember that men, especially in this country (you'd now about spain, but I suspect it'd be similar cos of the Catholicism thang) have all that Madonna/Whore double bind going on. You know what I'm saying? (The few men I am friends/friendly with would look, yes, but as they happen to not be ONs or player types, they wouldn't go there with a platinum blonde with two baloons for breasts or wearing a belt as a skirt. I would think that they reckon it's not worth the hassle of having a girl who will constantly attract the wrong kind of attention? /general observation about the opposite sex, open to corrections

)

I guess what I am saying is that for me as a woman, there is really nothing to "admitting" that guys will drool over overtly sexual types; as I am not one, and would not aspire to be one in about a million years, that "admission" is really no skin off my nose.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 06:56PM

parker kent wrote: »

Best way I can explain the difference between the two is like this. Kate is beautiful, the perfect princess. If I fell into a fairy tale and had the possibility of choosing between them I would definitely choose Kate. But the attraction to Pippa is that she has that look that suggests she'd give you a good seeing to in the stable!

Plus like I said above, her body has an awful lot to do with the attention on her. If Kate wore that dress to the wedding, men would probably be saying the same stuff about her. The dress really showed off her figure. Plus there is the fresh factor. We're used to seeing Kate. But a lot of men would never have seen Pippa before so she was unexpectedly hot.

Hmmm. Yeah. Her dress was sexier and more revealing. You hear, "It's sexier just to show a little bit of flesh and less is more. Leave it to men's imagination" etc. You read this in magazines when it's very obvious the contrary is true. I wonder why we (some of us) tell ourselves this? If I want to be considered sexy, I should go out half naked!

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 06:59PM

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

And yet, as a female, I find Pippa far more attractive and sexy than Kate. It's surely just down to personal preference rather than it being a fact that X is sexy while X is not? I think there are certain shared traits that lend themselves to being sexy but even those marketed as being the sexiest people around have their detractors...I don't think there is a magic formula.

No, you're absolutely right. It's all down to taste. I just feel that we as women try to convince ourselves this is not the case sometimes (not all women) and I wonder why we do that? Do you know what I mean?

Ickle Magoo · 27-05-2011 07:00PM

I have to be honest & say - not really...

metrovelvet · 27-05-2011 07:01PM

There is a difference between looking sexy and looking available.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 07:04PM

seenitall wrote: »

Yes, but this is as long as it is understood you are talking in the strictest possible meaning of "sexy" (as in "f..kable"); remember that men, especially in this country (you'd now about spain, but I suspect it'd be similar cos of the Catholicism thang) have all that Madonna/Whore double bind going on. You know what I'm saying? (The few men I am friends/friendly with would look, yes, but as they happen to not be ONs or player types, they wouldn't go there with a platinum blonde with two baloons for breasts or wearing a belt as a skirt. I would think that they reckon it's not worth the hassle of having a girl who will constantly attract the wrong kind of attention? /general observation about the opposite sex, open to corrections )

I guess what I am saying is that for me as a woman, there is really nothing to "admitting" that guys will drool over overtly sexual types; as I am not one, and would not aspire to be one in about a million years, that "admission" is really no skin off my nose.

Yeah. I suppose I've only really spent time in countries that would consider feckable as sexy (South America, Ireland and Spain). Subtly (for example French women), doesn't work so much in these countries I don't think.

No, it's water off a ducks back for me too. Not at all bothered. Men have found me sexy for whatever reason and I dress casually with very little make up on most of the time. I suppose here in Spain I like to look around and observe. Men make it very obvious when they're attracted to someone and I look at the woman and there's nothing at all subtle about her sexiness. Women who are the French, understated kind of sexy (who I think are attractive) wouldn't get attention from men.

I spend a lot of time (4 hours a day) on public transport and spend a lot of time people watching. It's interesting. Perhaps I'm reading too much into this...

parker kent · 27-05-2011 07:06PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Hmmm. Yeah. Her dress was sexier and more revealing. You hear, "It's sexier just to show a little bit of flesh and less is more. Leave it to men's imagination" etc. You read this in magazines when it's very obvious the contrary is true. I wonder why we (some of us) tell ourselves this? If I want to be considered sexy, I should go out half naked!

Her dress wasn't really revealing though in terms of skin, it just showed her figure very well. It depends on what scenario you are in really. If you want every man to notice you in a club? Skimpy clothes will probably work. But is that the only thing men consider sexy? No way. Sexiest girl I've ever seen was wearing a jumper and a woolly hat.

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 07:11PM

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I have to be honest & say - not really...

Haha. Okay. I don't either. This thread is doomed!

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 07:13PM

metrovelvet wrote: »

There is a difference between looking sexy and looking available.

Is sexy not a person you want to have sex with though? If a woman looks available and a man wants to have sex with her, is she not sexy?

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 07:15PM

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I have to be honest & say - not really...

Right...I suppose it comes down to the fact that women tell each other that less is more. Less fat, more clothes thus less revealing of flesh etc. but the reaction that a women gets who dresses skimpily tells a different story and many women might presume (before she sees the attention the skimpily stressed women gets) is too "obvious" and no man would find her attractive.

seenitall · 27-05-2011 07:16PM

parker kent wrote: »

Men notice girls in skimpy clothes on nights out because they are simply more noticeable. In a room full of jeans, a skirt will stand out. The Madonna/Whore thing is brought out far too often. They are just more likely to stand out and attract attention.

Errr... not in Ireland, no. As far as I can tell, in this country, a girl on a night out who is dressed in jeans will be the one standing out for the rarity, but will she be "noticed";) more than the high heeled, short-skirted ones? I don't think so!

Or perhaps you and I step out in entirely different kinds of places - it's possible (I'm in not in the capital, so less choice of venues...).

Eve_Dublin · 27-05-2011 07:16PM

Definition of sexy:

sex·y (sks)
adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est
1. Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
2. Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive

A women with very little clothes will arouse sexual interest thus is sexy, no?

whydoibother? · 27-05-2011 07:17PM

I wondered today actually, whether men analyse womens appearances in a more "methodical" way (for want of a better word) than I had realized. I always thought that whether you fancy somebody is not something you really think hard about. I'm a girl, and when I look at a guy I know instantly, without thinking about it. But recently I've heard some men discussing womens appearances on a few occasions and it goes "do you like X?" "yes, she's got a great body", "no, her face is to ..." "Y was looking very green today in that dress" (seriously, heard that one today) "Z has nice hair". Maybe the men I know are different but it seems they break down the elements way more than I ever would with a guy.

Do you know what men find sexy?

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