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golf

  • 14-05-2011 6:46pm
    #1
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,126 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    A man, about to tee off felt a tap on his shoulder and a bloke handed him a card that read "I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?"

    The 1st man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that "No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right."

    The first man whacked the ball onto the green and left to finish the hole.

    Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold.

    When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up 4 fingers.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    class :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 476 ✭✭Carra23


    I'm ashamed to say I just don't get it ! I've read it 3 times now and I'm still lost :o


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,126 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Carra23 wrote: »
    I'm ashamed to say I just don't get it ! I've read it 3 times now and I'm still lost :o
    four fingers


  • Registered Users Posts: 476 ✭✭Carra23


    four fingers


    Yep read the four fingers part at the end but still lost on me...............




    TEN BEST CADDY REMARKS:
    #10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
    Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"


    #9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
    Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."


    #8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
    Caddy: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now."


    #7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
    Caddy: "Eventually."


    #6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
    Caddy: "I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence."


    #5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too
    much of a distraction."
    Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."


    #4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
    Caddy: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf."


    #3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
    Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."


    #2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
    Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."


    #1 Best Caddy Comment:
    Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
    Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."



    And the old favourite is . . .
    The one about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole.
    He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy if he has seen any
    obvious problems to which the caddy replies, "There's a piece of **** on
    the end of your club."

    The Golfer picks his club up and cleans the club face at which point the
    caddy says, "No, the other end."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,595 ✭✭✭patmac


    Fore, does that help?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 476 ✭✭Carra23


    patmac wrote: »
    Fore, does that help?

    Oh dear ....................... :o


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