I'm thinking of becoming a Scientologist

enfant terrible · 15-05-2011 03:11AM #1

They seem like such positive people.

They are the authorities on the mind, drug rehabilitation, improving conditions, criminal rehabilitation, peace and uniting cultures and car crashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0

scooby2791 · 15-05-2011 03:28AM

Lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.

J. Marston · 15-05-2011 03:40AM

Sounds like they've already got you.

KylieWyley · 15-05-2011 03:42AM

"And if you just give us your account details, we'll start you on the path to spiritual enlightenment . . ."

Yakult · 15-05-2011 03:43AM

Do you have much money? They will gladly take it all from you if you do.

ballsymchugh · 15-05-2011 03:43AM

just make me a cup of tea before you go.

Karona · 15-05-2011 03:48AM

You should read this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complex:_An_Insider_Exposes_the_Covert_World_of_the_Church_of_Scientology

Fallschirmjager · 15-05-2011 06:25AM

i dont know about you but tom cruise definitely sells it for me...

isnt he like number 2 in charge now?

wonder when it make him taller...i guess that is just another couple of million

OutlawPete · 15-05-2011 06:44AM

When Biggins wakes up, you're fcuked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rwctlz4zCmE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCxI1Gl1SXg

Forest Master · 15-05-2011 07:03AM

J. Marston wrote: »

Sounds like they've already got you.

I think he's being sarcastic.

krudler · 15-05-2011 08:20AM

Its no more batsh1t crazy than the other major religions. An interplanetary warlord hiding nuclear bombs in volcanos? well thats just utterly insane, give me virgin births, talking snakes, 72 virgins, all of mankind descending from 2 people,american indians being lost jews, the world coming into existence in a week and malevolant sky wizards.

New religions have to hit the ground running with the crazy to be able to keep up with the older ones, once you've got a belief system where a man talks to god via a burning bush you've got to go all out to get people interested.

15-05-2011 08:44AM

krudler wrote: »

Its no more batsh1t crazy than the other major religions. An interplanetary warlord hiding nuclear bombs in volcanos? well thats just utterly insane, give me virgin births, talking snakes, 72 virgins, all of mankind descending from 2 people,american indians being lost jews, the world coming into existence in a week and malevolant sky wizards.

New religions have to hit the ground running with the crazy to be able to keep up with the older ones, once you've got a belief system where a man talks to god via a burning bush you've got to go all out to get people interested.

How about a cosmic Jew who was his own father by a virgin who can enable you to live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from something invisible called your soul that is present because a woman made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree.

Da Shins Kelly · 15-05-2011 08:51AM

Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.

krudler · 15-05-2011 08:52AM

Zahir Salmon Catfish wrote: »

How about a cosmic Jew who was his own father by a virgin who can enable you to live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from something invisible called your soul that is present because a woman made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree.

not to mention that whole supreme creator who routinely wipes cities off the face of the earth, murders newborn children, floods the world he created for the lulz,demands human sacrifice in his name to test faith and just generally acts like a cnut for most of the old testament.

baalthor · 15-05-2011 08:58AM

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.

The allegation is that they WILL rob you more than the others ...

Da Shins Kelly · 15-05-2011 09:12AM

baalthor wrote: »

The allegation is that they WILL rob you more than the others ...

THe Catholic Church has to be one of the richest institutions on earth, infinitely more wealthy than the Church of Scientology. They've been robbing people for centuries. They used to 'sell' places in heaven, for f*ck sake.

Wibbs · 15-05-2011 09:14AM

krudler wrote: »

not to mention that whole supreme creator who routinely wipes cities off the face of the earth, murders newborn children, floods the world he created for the lulz,demands human sacrifice in his name to test faith and just generally acts like a cnut for most of the old testament.

This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

Wibbs · 15-05-2011 09:17AM

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

THe Catholic Church has to be one of the richest institutions on earth, infinitely more wealthy than the Church of Scientology. They've been robbing people for centuries. They used to 'sell' places in heaven, for f*ck sake.

Funny enough they were nearly broke at the end of the 19th century after the loss of the Papal states.

krudler · 15-05-2011 09:18AM

Wibbs wrote: »

This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

but he loves us...

longshanks · 15-05-2011 10:16AM

krudler wrote: »

but he loves us...

... And Fritzl loved his kids. Regularly.

Saila · 15-05-2011 10:22AM

sorry no, you cant use thinking and scientologist in that sentance, its either "Im becoming a scientologist" or "Im thinking" you cant have both

Phoenix Park · 15-05-2011 10:26AM

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.

and to the best of my knowledge they aren't big on raping young boys and girls either.
I think you could do worse. Might join myself actually.

Biggins · 15-05-2011 10:30AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

When Biggins wakes up, you're fcuked.

If I thought the guy was serious, I'd be around to his residence to slap some kop-on on his head! :pac:

Saila · 15-05-2011 10:37AM

wow I actually thought cruise had an OUNCE of acting ability, but it turns out he is just playing himself in all those movies after watching that. It was like a mix of jerry maguire, the guy from mission impossible, the colour of money and top gun

Hookah · 15-05-2011 10:40AM

Wibbs wrote: »

This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

I prefer the Gnostic cosmology myself, in which Yahweh is a jealous deceiver, intent on keeping humanity from true spirituality.

Makes more sense.

Leeg17 · 15-05-2011 10:41AM

Na na na na na Na na na LEADER

Catari Jaguar · 15-05-2011 11:00AM

You're "thinking"?

You can say good bye to that once you become a scientologist.

Saila · 15-05-2011 11:03AM

Leeg17 wrote: »

Na na na na na Na na na LEADER

"remember your free to leave at anytime"

*stands up*

"can we ask why you want to leave?"

*sits back down*

Biggins · 15-05-2011 11:04AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7EEOMbBIO8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCGP-0545EU

Enough said.

bnt · 15-05-2011 11:50AM

South Park can lampoon Scientology with impunity, but you won't see even the slightest oblique reference to them on The Simpsons, because Bart would lose his voice. Nancy Cartwright is a long-standing Scientologist, and is currently campaigning for her Scientology-inspired book to be used in Illinois schools. The book, called "Good Choices", is about building "character" in students, but she denies it's an attempt to teach Scientology in schools:

Cartwright’s “Good Choices” program — which she has said is based on the book “The Way to Happiness” by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard — was among the curricula a House resolution would have encouraged Illinois teachers to use to fulfill the state requirement that character education be taught. Opening in the voice of her cartoon alter ego, Cartwright touted her program despite knowing the resolution’s sponsor, Rep. Dan Burke (D-Chicago), would be stripping out a reference to it after questions surfaced about its link to Scientology.

We know how Scientology operates, including the way Hubbard considered it entirely legitimate to cheat and lie to non-Scientologists, as long as it furthers the aims of Scientology. This is how they get things done - but it looks like it's not going to work in this case, thankfully. :rolleyes:

Fukuyama · 15-05-2011 11:53AM

I have little respect for anyone who believes in any kind of God (witchdoctor, fairies, whatever) these days.

I'm thinking of becoming a Scientologist

Comments