Why "sluts" and "studs" are not the same thing, and never will be

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 10:50PM

Dudess wrote: »

"I don't respect women who put out easily, but I'll still be part of said 'putting-out'". That's the double standard that pisses me off, not so much the "Guy gets around - legend; girl gets around - slut" one as it's not as straightforward as that.

Do you sincerely believe that choosing not to pursue a slut will magically mean she won't get stuffed by other cocks as soon as you've chivalrously said goodnight?

Dudess · 05-04-2011 10:51PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

Do you sincerely believe that choosing not to pursue a slut will magically mean she won't get stuffed by other cocks as soon as you've chivalrously said goodnight?

Strawman.

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 10:53PM

Dudess wrote: »

Strawman.

Wrong, but nice attempt at being cute.

Edit: I'll throw you a bone. Follow what I said above and it may dispel the notion of an egregious double standard that you have in mind. Just because you try to sleep with a girl doesn't mean she's going to give in. In fact, girls will resist sleeping with a man on the first date because they know that the more he invests (after a certain point), the more he's likely to stick around (i.e. she's not just looking for a random cock to bang).

Dudess · 05-04-2011 11:04PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

Wrong, but nice attempt at being cute.

Oh no I'm right - you took what I said, and interpreted it in a completely distorted way.

I didn't say or even imply what you responded with, so here's the thing: it doesn't matter a jacksh1t in my opinion whether a guy deciding not to have sex with a "slut" (horrible word) reduces the chance of her being ridden by several others - I find it extremely hypocritical to disapprove of a particular type of behaviour and to see the person who engages in it as "lesser"... yet to actively partake in said behaviour. So while I know opting not to partake in it won't significantly reduce instances of it, it still looks a lot less hypocritical and arsehole-ish.
I feel the exact same way about women who bitch about guys who are "playas" and "bastards" etc but still have sex with them because they're good in bed.

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 11:08PM

Dudess wrote: »

Oh no I'm right - you took what I said, and interpreted it in a completely distorted way.

I didn't say or even imply what you responded with, so here's the thing: it doesn't matter a jacksh1t in my opinion whether a guy deciding not to have sex with a "slut" (horrible word) reduces the chance of her being ridden by several others - I find it extremely hypocritical to disapprove of a particular type of behaviour and to see the person who engages in it as "lesser"... yet to actively partake in said behaviour. So while I know opting not to partake in it won't significantly reduce instances of the behaviour in question, it still looks less hypocritical and less arseholish.
I feel the exact same way about women who bitch about guys who are "playas" and "bastards" etc but still have sex with them because they're good in bed.

My point was to show you that your umbrage at the hypocrisy is misplaced.

eternal · 05-04-2011 11:21PM

I wasnt going to waste valuable moments reading such inane rubbish ,You can shag who you want ,no ones business.Within reason of course.Did anyone else think that poster looked wrong?

midlandsmissus · 05-04-2011 11:26PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

Wrong, but nice attempt at being cute.

Edit: I'll throw you a bone. Follow what I said above and it may dispel the notion of an egregious double standard that you have in mind. Just because you try to sleep with a girl doesn't mean she's going to give in. In fact, girls will resist sleeping with a man on the first date because they know that the more he invests (after a certain point), the more he's likely to stick around (i.e. she's not just looking for a random cock to bang).

I actually think the real reason is this. If you've seen a man in action it's never the case of a man saying 'I want sex will you have it' and the woman who says yes is a slut and the woman who says no isn't. (Some) men employ all sorts of pick up artist techniques/ fake their whole personality/manipulate circumstances to get you into bed. So really it boils down to if the girl is weak/strong. That's all it boils down to. Players prey on the weak. Why do girls feel used? You don't feel used after you've done something you've wanted to, you feel used after being pushed into doing something you didn't want to do. Therefore nobody should really be called a slut...not strong enough to stand up for themselves maybe.

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 11:26PM

eternal = screeching child

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 11:28PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I actually think the real reason is this. If you've seen a man in action it's never the case of a man saying 'I want sex will you have it' and the woman who says yes is a slut and the woman who says no isn't. (Some) men employ all sorts of pick up artist techniques/ fake their whole personality/manipulate circumstances to get you into bed. So really it boils down to if the girl is weak/strong. That's all it boils down to. Players prey on the weak. Why do girls feel used? You don't feel used after you've done something you've wanted to, you feel used after being pushed into doing something you didn't want to do. Therefore nobody should really be called a slut...not strong enough to stand up for themselves maybe.

Girls feel used if they don't get a phonecall the next day. It makes them feel trashy.

midlandsmissus · 05-04-2011 11:30PM

I like you Dudess!

eternal · 05-04-2011 11:32PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

eternal = screeching child

Could you elaborate ? Im not the one spamming with my own blog which isnt allowed anyway

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 11:38PM

eternal wrote: »

Could you elaborate ? Im not the one spamming with my own blog which isnt allowed anyway

If you read it, you'd see that I explained why your reflexive comment is incorrect and hypocritical. If too lazy, instead ask yourself why "sluttiness" is so damaging to a girl's reputation and you'll find a hint of your answer.

giggsy664 · 05-04-2011 11:38PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

I haven't a sexist bone in my body.

But your mother does.

Mine.

Sorry

midlandsmissus · 05-04-2011 11:42PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

Girls feel used if they don't get a phonecall the next day. It makes them feel trashy.

Not true. If I, and I'm sure most girls, happily wanted to just sleep with some-one, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest if I didnt hear from him again. Girls feel used if they are lied to, pressured or manipulated into it.
An analogy for you: you meet a girl who you really like, you think she's really kind and caring, she says she really likes you.
You then find out she completely lied to you and faked it all cuz she knew you were loaded and to get money off you. Left you for dust once it was gone. How would it make you feel? It's all a game for some men.

MonkeyBalls · 05-04-2011 11:52PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Not true. If I, and I'm sure most girls, happily wanted to just sleep with some-one, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest if I didnt hear from him again. Girls feel used if they are lied to, pressured or manipulated into it.
An analogy for you: you meet a girl who you really like, you think she's really kind and caring, she says she really likes you.
You then find out she completely lied to you and faked it all cuz she knew you were loaded and to get money off you. Left you for dust once it was gone. How would it make you feel? It's all a game for some men.

"Not true?" You perhaps should have paused after writing that, maybe stuck an opinion qualifier into it, because you happen to obviously wrong.

It should go without saying that most girls (not just the skanky ones) want to be texted or called after being banged by a guy. It reassures her, if nothing else.

Edit: as for your analogy , yeah gold diggers are everywhere, and the analogy is a good one. (Luckily I don't have that problem because I'm a broke-as-fck student.)

AskMyChocolate · 05-04-2011 11:53PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

What's REALLY REALLy unfair about the above though is men will push, push, push and pressure you into sleeping with them, and then despise you and make you feel like utter dirt when you do. I had slept with 2 boyfriends my whole life, late 20s now, fell for an alpha male b4 xmas who told me he realy liked me. I let him pick me up in our local club at the end of the night and bring me bk to his friends house a few nights. Total alpha male and v.persuasive and i was pretty weak. There were a load of lads in the house so everybody knew and of course he told them I was chasing him. And he treated me like absolute dirt the next morning. I am now known as easy round town and he is just the stud. Nothing feels worse than this, I have actually felt suicidal over it all. Once you're a slut (in a small town) you're condemned as a slut forever. Men have no idea how hard it is being a woman, they don't have the worry of it all. Feeling like a slut is so awful and a man can never know that particular pain...

Doesn't sound like alpha-male behaviour to me.

Raze_them_all wrote: »

My standard response to this.

If a key opens up any lock it's a master key, If a lock is opened by any key then it's a **** lock

A master-key is far more powerful, if it's kept hidden and only brought out when needed. If it's existence is an unconfirmed rumour, it becomes more powerful still. Flashing a master-key around smacks of insecurity.

And at the risk of sounding sexist, or worse, wearing out a metaphor, don't ever underestimate the innate inquisitiveness of a lock.

Wibbs · 05-04-2011 11:54PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

How big of a slut is she, how many cocks?

On your scale, loads of same. Well into the 100+

I still don't think that one epic-slut who's demure and lacking in histrionics contradicts the point that most sluts are lacking in self-esteem, as replicated studies have shown.

It depends hugely on what you're looking to find. For a start most of those, if not all of those studies are self reported studies, which are as much use as a boil on a jockeys bollocks. Oft referenced, but the reality is often quite different. When I see these "studies" and most like it, I have to say I think "Self reported cock size on the interweb".

Very few sluts are "public sluts".

Eh no. Most are. If you know them as such they are very much public. That tends to freak out some men eve more. The notion that the actual "sluts" are more hidden. Much easier to sleep at night thinking it's only the insecure ones like "many cocks" as you put it.

(Incidentally, thank god for sluts. It would suck if you had to have a relationship every time you wanted a shag).

Oh no you didn't.

Are youtrying to be some PUA guru or something?

OutlawPete wrote: »

What I have noticed however is how of all the girls I knew growing up, the ones that had loving homes, now have loving relationships. That's not to say they are not the sexual flaunting types, but more that they just aren't using it to attract men who will treat them like crap. In my experience, women who like/attract mean bastards, usually seen one in action when they were growing up.

Yea there's an element of truth to that alright OP. You see it with guys too. Shít if I had a fiver for every one of my mates that essentially married his ma... well I'd have about 30 quid but the point stands dammit!

midlandsmissus wrote: »

An analogy for you: you meet a girl who you really like, you think she's really kind and caring, she says she really likes you.
You then find out she completely lied to you and faked it all cuz she knew you were loaded and to get money off you. Left you for dust once it was gone. How would it make you feel? It's all a game for some men.

Yea +1 MLM, being a dick is not gender specific. Neither is the inability to be objective about the other.

Dudess · 05-04-2011 11:56PM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

"Not true?" You perhaps should have paused after writing that, maybe stuck an opinion qualifier into it, because you happen to obviously wrong.

Ok, your patronising tone with people - simply because they have the cheek to disagree with you (and they are backing themselves up) - is getting a bit much now.

Wibbs · 06-04-2011 12:03AM

Dudess wrote: »

Ok, your patronising tone with people - simply because they have the cheek to disagree with you (and they are backing themselves up) - is getting a bit much now.

I suspect that would be a holdover from the early PUA induction, the first furtive steps for the guy who doesn't quite get it, but after a few clicks intellectualises it hoping to nail it down for himself. A noble pursuit BTW. I've more respect for the OP than many who chime in. His blog is interesting reading, he's not a dope and he's willing to be the "bad guy". Always a good thing. Ditto for you D

:).

MonkeyBalls · 06-04-2011 12:06AM

Dudess wrote: »

Ok, your patronising tone with people - simply because they have the cheek to disagree with you (and they are backing themselves up) - is getting a bit much now.

She was just looking for a reason to disagree, I'm sure she can take it...it's only the interwebs, let's not take it too seriously.

Wibbs wrote: »

On your scale, loads of same. Well into the 100+
It depends hugely on what you're looking to find. For a start most of those, if not all of those studies are self reported studies, which are as much use as a boil on a jockeys bollocks. Oft referenced, but the reality is often quite different. When I see these "studies" and most like it, I have to say I think "Self reported cock size on the interweb". Eh no. Most are. If you know them as such they are very much public. That tends to freak out some men eve more. The notion that the actual "sluts" are more hidden. Much easier to sleep at night thinking it's only the insecure ones like "many cocks" as you put it.

Oh no you didn't. Are youtrying to be some PUA guru or something?
Yea there's an element of truth to that alright OP. You see it with guys too. Shít if I had a fiver for every one of my mates that essentially married his ma... well I'd have about 30 quid but the point stands dammit!

Yea +1 MLM, being a dick is not gender specific. Neither is the inability to be objective about the other.

Hi Wibbs. First, check out the study if you're interested; I entirely agree with what you said about them. As for "eh no", I disgree - but that's a tedious semantic blurry-line discussion that I've no interest in. Next, saying I'm thankful for the existence of loose women doesn't mean I'm a "pua guru". It means I enjoy emptying the contents of my balls inside a vagina without having to invest too heavily in its outer accouterments.

Some people in this forum have difficultly differentiating the concepts "generally", "most", "some", and "all". Not necessarily you, Wibbs.

midlandsmissus · 06-04-2011 12:06AM

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Doesn't sound like alpha-male behaviour to me.

A master-key is far more powerful, if it's kept hidden and only brought out when needed. If it's existence is an unconfirmed rumour, it becomes more powerful still. Flashing a master-key around smacks of insecurity.

And at the risk of sounding sexist, or worse, wearing out a metaphor, don't ever underestimate the innate inquisitiveness of a lock.

Yeah theres more to it than that. Alot of texting me and wearing me down first. And having about 4 other girls on the go, and making you feel wrong when you questioned him, that he didnt know what he wanted at the minute. How dare you question him kinda thing. What do men think alpha male behaviour is out of curiosity?

MonkeyBalls · 06-04-2011 12:09AM

There's some interesting projection going on in this thread

OutlawPete · 06-04-2011 12:11AM

giggsy664 wrote: »

But your mother does.

Mine. Sorry

Fictional internet meme: 'Yore ma'.

Real person: 'Your mother'.

Dudess · 06-04-2011 12:11AM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

There's some interesting projection going on in this thread

Like what?

eternal · 06-04-2011 12:11AM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Not true. If I, and I'm sure most girls, happily wanted to just sleep with some-one, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest if I didnt hear from him again. Girls feel used if they are lied to, pressured or manipulated into it.
An analogy for you: you meet a girl who you really like, you think she's really kind and caring, she says she really likes you.
You then find out she completely lied to you and faked it all cuz she knew you were loaded and to get money off you. Left you for dust once it was gone. How would it make you feel? It's all a game for some men.

I have slept with guys and didnt care if they lived or died .Not my problem.Also I couldnt give two f*cks what other people think of me .If you go around your whole life thinking like that it will drive you mad.

midlandsmissus · 06-04-2011 12:12AM

MonkeyBalls wrote: »

She was just looking for a reason to disagree, I'm sure she can take it...it's only the interwebs, let's not take it too seriously.

Hi Wibbs. First, check out the study if you're interested; I entirely agree with what you said about them. As for "eh no", I disgree - but that's a tedious semantic blurry-line discussion that I've no interest in. Next, saying I'm thankful for the existence of loose women doesn't mean I'm a "pua guru". It means I enjoy emptying the contents of my balls inside a vagina without having to invest too heavily in its outer accouterments.

Some people in this forum have difficultly differentiating the concepts "generally", "most", "some", and "all". Not necessarily you, Wibbs.

So you approve of them, you place value on them. They give you what you need. So why do you call them a slut, honest question. Sometimes I truly think men are insane. They contradict themselves at every turn.

MonkeyBalls · 06-04-2011 12:13AM

eternal wrote: »

I have slept with guys and didnt care if they lived or died .Not my problem.Also I couldnt give two f*cks what other people think of me .If you go around your whole life thinking like that it will drive you mad.

*Slut alert!*

Nah, I keed. It's all good.

MonkeyBalls · 06-04-2011 12:16AM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

So you approve of them, you place value on them. They give you what you need. So why do you call them a slut, honest question. Sometimes I truly think men are insane. They contradict themselves at every turn.

That's just human nature. If something valuable is given away too easily, it's not valued. You value what took effort to get.

That's a simplification, but I'm off to bed.

OutlawPete · 06-04-2011 12:17AM

eternal wrote: »

I have slept with guys and didnt care if they lived or died.

That's a great opening line to a poem, seriously - I want more

WindSock · 06-04-2011 12:17AM

I missed what your definition of a slut is, OP. Is it a woman who has slept with loads of guys? On average, how many a year? Or just a woman who has low self esteem and sleeps with anyone who'll 'ave 'er, whether in a relationship or not...or both?

Why "sluts" and "studs" are not the same thing, and never will be

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