First day on the job.....the definition of awkwardness!

_feedback_ · 31-03-2011 09:43AM

Guy I used to work with in a bar years ago used to treat all new starters with the same trick. Had a big bowl of whipped cream for coffees etc. He used to go up to the new person with a big long face and say "Eww, does that smell off to you?" New person leans in to smell and he brings it up a little too much. Cream all over the new persons face, by "accident" of course.

I used to think it was pretty mean but that comedian thought it was hillarious.

Big Nasty · 31-03-2011 09:46AM

*subscribes*

pickarooney · 31-03-2011 09:59AM

RichieC wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3Gd5GKfGw

you'll like this

I'd forgotton how much Nicholas Burns from Nathan Barley looked like Joel McHale.

Hyperbullet · 31-03-2011 10:50AM

Used to work in a hotel years ago and we got up to some awful ones. The usual long stand/long weight craic, however there was one guy who had been there a long time and wasn't exactly the sharpest. We sent him on the search one night for the keys to the back yard gate to stop crows getting in and wrecking the place. Never copped that crows could fly, and dont necessarily walk into the yard.

He spent a good 40 minutes being sent from one part of the hotel to the other seeking keys to stop the blasted crows.

SeaFields · 31-03-2011 11:03AM

Ah come on....a lot of people here saying "eh... this one didn't happen to me but...."

When I was on school work experience I did it in the butchers in the local shopping centre. I got sent out for a pickle glove

Tried four other shops before a nice girl asked me who is looking for that. She told me it was a joke and to go tell him fcuk himself which I did.

Still tho got paid for the work experience which hardly anyone else in school did and the lad that sent me out looking gave me a six pack of budweiser. First time I got pissed!

Captain Darling · 31-03-2011 11:06AM

I started work at the ripe old age of 21. Fresh faced, foot loose and fancy free.

This auld one referred to me as the 'little boy in the office' in the first week because i looked about twelve. From then on i was referred to as the little boy in the office. Thanks be to jaysus i got out of there. I'm a big boy now dammit!!

Yawns · 31-03-2011 11:09AM

I remember working in a pub, we sent a newish lounge boy out to mop the beer garden in the rain. He was there a good 10 minutes trying to soak up a puddle and wring the mop dry. A lounge girl felt sorry for him and brought him back inside

Blazer · 31-03-2011 11:19AM

On my electronics course one particular lad wasn't paying attention and asked what equipment were we supposed to get for creating circuitboards, soldering etc.
We sent him off with list "Sonic screwdriver and for soldering "electric arc welder".
The electric shops in his hometown ended up sending him all over the place

He arrived in Monday and told the lecturer that he couldn't find a sonic screwdriver anywhere and that the welders he was looking at were not powerful enough for soldering circuit boards...
From then one he was marked out as the most gullible person I've ever met in my life..and that was 20 years ago.
Someday I might tell ye the story of how he applied for the position of Marine Electronics Officer.......on Mars

rainbowdrop · 31-03-2011 11:20AM

Know of a girl whose 1st wedding anniversary was coming up, and her workmates convinced her that she had to 'renew her wedding license' every year (like you would a TV or dog license).

Off she went to the post office on her lunch break to try and renew the wedding license. I'd say the staff working there wet themselves laughing at her!

BobTheBeat · 31-03-2011 11:21AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPuxlTWO6iI

GerM · 31-03-2011 11:26AM

RichieC wrote: »

Sky hooks and skirting ladders, two more classics..

Contacted the procurement lad in the office before and asked him to get me a half dozen sky hooks on April 1st. Poor fella didn't have a clue what they were and assumed they were part of air conditioning ducting system. Rang around 6 suppliers asking for them. My favourite part was that not one of the suppliers set him straight, just laughed at him and told them they were all out.

3ndahalfof6 · 31-03-2011 11:36AM

gigglin pin for laffin shaft

newcomer landing in newyioke from ireland, wpuld get sent to the shop for half pound of hurely gurleys or lura lardles and wile your at it get 20 fags

Balmed Out · 31-03-2011 11:40AM

Used to work in a bar.
If it was quiet id get the latest youngster working as a glass collector to sort the bottle tops for recycling or to polish the kegs.

Guill · 31-03-2011 11:44AM

Got a lad to pack a shelf full of Ice cream in Dunnes Stores before.

Son Of A Vidic · 31-03-2011 11:50AM

RichieC wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox3Gd5GKfGw

you'll like this

Priceless!

Ledger · 31-03-2011 11:55AM

Balmed Out wrote: »

Used to work in a bar.
If it was quiet id get the latest youngster working as a glass collector to sort the bottle tops for recycling or to polish the kegs.

I'd have no problem polishing off a Keg!

kiddums · 31-03-2011 11:56AM

On a work placement in a garage I got sent across the road for spark plugs for the transit.

I didn't twig that the transit is diesel and so no spark plugh till the guy in the shop started laughing. The mechanics were in stiches when I got back.

face2face · 31-03-2011 12:01PM

Had a summer job in a restaurant, they sent me around the corner to another one in group to get the lobster gun - they gave me a fire extinguisher - knew something was up but was too afraid of the chef to say anything. Year later in a chemical company got a message to ring a customer looking for large quantity of white spirit - Mr Graves was his name.........

Big Nasty · 31-03-2011 12:03PM

Just remembered this one - years ago working in a pub we got told the new boy that we were out of beermats so handed him a gang of cardboard boxes, a scissors and a black marker. Told him to cut the boxes in to little circles and write Heineken on them!

Guill · 31-03-2011 12:06PM

Sent a guy for a bag of 6" flutes in the local DIY store as the flutes on the drills were fecked.

I'll never forget the look on his face when he got back. The hardware store owner even rang to say how funny it was!

Darlughda · 31-03-2011 12:08PM

Got told to go to accounts on my first day for the long stand.

I was waiting there ages wondering why they were all smirking at me.

Big Nasty · 31-03-2011 12:08PM

Another one (sales job):

There was a chap on looking for you, wants to place an ad - here's his name and number.

'Ger Raffe, 01 888****'

Calls number, it's admin office in Dublin Zoo so no greeting, just 'Hello?'

'Yes, can I speak to Ger please?'
'Who?'
'Ger, I'm looking for Ger Raffe'

R0ot · 31-03-2011 12:19PM

We used to always make the new staff in the bar change the Heineken keg that used to explode unless you did it just right.

rainbowdrop · 31-03-2011 01:01PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Another one (sales job):

There was a chap on looking for you, wants to place an ad - here's his name and number.

'Ger Raffe, 01 888****'

Calls number, it's admin office in Dublin Zoo so no greeting, just 'Hello?'

'Yes, can I speak to Ger please?'
'Who?'
'Ger, I'm looking for Ger Raffe'

Haha! I got that one before, but it was ring 01 ****** and ask for 'Rory Lyons'.......... Turned out to be Dublin Zoo as well.:p

c_man · 31-03-2011 01:12PM

I remember once starting in a pub during Summer holidays from college. Got told to head down to the hardware store for a skirting ladder and a long weight. I was wise to it but played along. Made my way to another bar, had a few smokes and two pints. I got the piss taken out of me upon eventual return and feigned embarrassment.

Einstein · 31-03-2011 01:27PM

First job, workin in a hotel...asked to go to the kitchen and get a pineapple crusher...

it sounded real

Boxoffrogs · 31-03-2011 01:29PM

Worked with two absolute b*tches once who (while they didn't tell him to do it) let a temp lick about 200 self adhesive envelopes while they p*ssed themselves laughing.

stevejr · 31-03-2011 01:52PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Another one (sales job):

There was a chap on looking for you, wants to place an ad - here's his name and number.

'Ger Raffe, 01 888****'

Calls number, it's admin office in Dublin Zoo so no greeting, just 'Hello?'

'Yes, can I speak to Ger please?'
'Who?'
'Ger, I'm looking for Ger Raffe'

I was once told to ring the same number looking for Annie Lyons!

keano_afc · 31-03-2011 01:57PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Another one (sales job):

There was a chap on looking for you, wants to place an ad - here's his name and number.

'Ger Raffe, 01 888****'

Calls number, it's admin office in Dublin Zoo so no greeting, just 'Hello?'

'Yes, can I speak to Ger please?'
'Who?'
'Ger, I'm looking for Ger Raffe'

Similar to this, managed to get a new employee to ring a drapery shop and ask for Annette Curtain.

xzanti · 31-03-2011 02:11PM

Apprentice Butcher sent off down the street looking for a lend of a puddin' bender was the best I've heard..

First day on the job.....the definition of awkwardness!

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