Kilkenny cat rides Cheshire Cat: report from Wiggle Cheshire cat, Crewe.

I know this probably deserves to go in the Broomwagon as I'm the only boardsie that did it but meh. I also know this post is going to be long and will probably take me longer than the event itself.

The story begins Saturday morning, I went for a club spin and was expecting to do 50-75km so I had a small bowl of Muesli and didn't bother taking anything with me. All was going OK for the first 50km or so but after about 75kms I was really starting to struggle and after about 90km, I was totally wrecked and had to be carried home, we ended up doing 120kms. I was a bit worried how I would fair the following day. I drove up to Dublin, stopped into a mates house, got a vindaloo, which I think is great the night before a sportive (don't think many will agree) and then got on the ferry which left at about 21h00. Watched the second half of the Ireland game but stayed calm and didn't get excited as intended on shutting my eyes as soon as the match was over, which is what I did, so I got a couple of crappy hours sleep. Got off the ferry at 00h40, grabbed a coffee in a service station and drove for two hours to Crewe, making a wrong turn on the way. Got to Crewe at 4h45 (clocks went forward) into bed for two and a half hours and woke up at 7h30, my breakfast in a bag (classy joint- Travelodge)was waiting for me at the door

I cycle over to Gresty Road (football fans will know this as the Crewe Alexandria stadium) and as my number hadn't arrived by post, I had to get a new one which was given to me without any hassle. The start was shambolic, they had these timing chips which you attach to your helmet and you have to pass a sensor to get registered. There was also confusion with the queues at the start as a queue would form, then they were told they were in the wrong spot and had to be cleared, pretty poor stuff all in all. With 3,000 cyclists leaving individually it took me around 45 minutes (that's how it felt anyway) of standing around before I got going. All three routes left at the same time also with me doing the 160km.

The route itself is interesting, four hills pretty early on and then the second half is level. There is this one hill, called the Mow Cop, which is phenomenally steep, it was too steep for me even with a 27t cassette a rider slipped in front of me and I had to get off and walk so no medal for climbing the Mow Cop On the hill though, there were a good crowd of people cheering on, some people really do get their kicks watching others suffer. After that climb there was a lovely long descent with me getting up to speeds of 70kph, the next climb, not as steep and quite small, also had a fantastically quick and long descent.

One thing I do think Irish riders should be grateful of are marshals, these volunteers do such a good job and really enhance the experience of a sportive, the Cheshire cat didn't have them, which for the size of the event I thought was unusual. Saying that though, the route was really well marked out and there were no shortage of bright pinkish/ purplish arrows. There was one thing I really liked though and that was the Mavic cars and motorcycles, they passed up and down all day, repairing punctures.

So far in the journey, I'd leeched, stayed at the backs of groups. One group annoyed me though and I wanted to throw a bottle at the lead rider but I thought it would be bad form seeing as I wasn't doing any work but he never called any holes and the riders behind him kept hitting them. The food stops were OK, got hi-5 bars and gels, someone left a box unattended and I grabbed about five or six , muffin, bananas and cup cake. Went over and filled my bidon from a water carrier. When I took a swig out of my bidon further down the road, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was hi-5

Earlier I said that it was a really well sign-posted route, which it was but we still managed to take a wrong turn, with about 50 riders. This wrong turn came about because one person turned, a few more followed, someone said they had not seen a sign for the turn but someone else said there was (I definitely didn't see one), along came the French regged Mavic car and it took the turn so we followed and added a couple of kms on to our journey until we saw the Mavic car coming back (it had obviously just followed the riders). This wasn't a hugely bad as another large group had formed

The last stop was about 40kms from the finish, I was really knackered at this this stage, I just couldn't hold onto any groups. In fairness I had come out of the traps fairly quickly at the start trying to move up and I gave the hills everything I had. I sat at the last stop for a while and struggled on. At one point a little old lady sheltered me for a bit but I'd stopped overtaking people and I was now being overtaken a lot.

I got to the finish, as it was being filmed I had a little celebration figured out just for you guys but I didn't do it as I had an embarrassing moment trying to finger bang (sad I know) for a photographer 1km from the finish when my pedals came out so I had no hands or feet on the bike for a split second.

I don't know how long it took it me as I still haven't figured out how to use my two buttoned and probably incredibly simple Shimano flight deck but I got in around 16h30 having left at about 9h15. I'm waiting for scores to go up on the site. I also have no links for you as I'm using a mac, which I don't know how to use but you can check out the route at www.kilotogo.com and look for Wiggle Cheshire Cat. There should soon be photos on www.sportivephoto.com and you'll recognise me as I'm the one wearing the new boards.ie gear (club gear way too big for me now, new stuff on the way) with Captain Havoc written on it

All in all, how would I rate this event? It was good, I'm happy I did it and it was a nice route but I won't be organising a group of us to go to it next year, I'm sure there's better bang for the buck to be had out there for £30. There was a good bit of bells and whistles but not enough nuts and bolts.