Did you ever Sh1t your pants?

this is arse · 07-03-2011 05:07PM #1

I did recently for the first time. Had some close calls in the past but always managed to get to a jacks on time. Was on the luas about 15 minutes to my stop, was clenching but ares muscles. I could feel my stomach rumbleing. Had to get off one stop early cause the luas guys were checking tickets. Thought i could make it the 10 minutes walk home. Couldn't run or it would have quickened things up. Just had to stay calm and pace myself. As i got closer to the house, i could feel the imminant explosion, got in the door, walked quickly to the jacks, unbuttoned and was unzipping while at the same time moving into position over the bowl. about 2 seconds too late. i'm down a pair of pants.

Gunsfortoys · 07-03-2011 05:09PM

In before Flut.

Sykk · 07-03-2011 05:09PM

Your username explains it all

sbsquarepants · 07-03-2011 05:12PM

Jesus christ!
Did your ma manage to get the stains out?

Captain Chaos · 07-03-2011 05:12PM

Had six large bottles of Bulmers Pear at the pub one night. Was almost home and well lets just say I didn't make it to the front door and operation free flow was still on going by the time I had run up the stairs and to the toilet. Needed a new pair of jeans, cacks and a new bathroom after that episode

:(

Ruu_Old · 07-03-2011 05:13PM

How are you going to explain this one to Mam?

Anyway, you'll be needing advice from below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwXuHWsj-X0

kfallon · 07-03-2011 05:13PM

Not since I was a toddler, tho twice now I've been caught with flatmate in the shower in the morn and me bursting for a 'Tom Tit', both times I thought it was either gonna be the sink or in a plastic bag. Both times he got out at just the right time, I sat on the bog for about half an hour, oh the relief, jaysus t'was like a tablet!

Midnight_EG · 07-03-2011 05:14PM

I didn't know if you pushed that hard, that happened

RichieC · 07-03-2011 05:14PM

Do sharts count?

Scarydoll · 07-03-2011 05:14PM

Not since I was a baby. I've had a couple of close calls but no soiling of the pants. Thank Jeebus.

patmac · 07-03-2011 05:14PM

Great Spike Milligan story about how a mate of his did the same then went into Marks and Spencers and bought replacement trousers and undies, ran to catch his train, into the jacks took off soiled clothing threw it out the window of moving train, opened bag only to find a pink cardigan belonging to someone else:eek:, no mobile phones in them days!

RichieC · 07-03-2011 05:16PM

patmac wrote: »

Great Spike Milligan story about how a mate of his did the same then went into Marks and Spencers and bought replacement trousers and undies, ran to catch his train, into the jacks took off soiled clothing threw it out the window of moving train, opened bag only to find a pink cardigan belonging to someone else:eek:, no mobile phones in them days!

I hope to god that stories true..fking classic..

Sykk · 07-03-2011 05:23PM

patmac wrote: »

Great Spike Milligan story about how a mate of his did the same then went into Marks and Spencers and bought replacement trousers and undies, ran to catch his train, into the jacks took off soiled clothing threw it out the window of moving train, opened bag only to find a pink cardigan belonging to someone else:eek:, no mobile phones in them days!

I just **** myself laughing reading that

pebbles21 · 07-03-2011 05:23PM

Yes i did once in North Earl St. on the way to Connolly station,wasnt a nice experience i can tell you

Anyhow i went into Micheal Guineys and asked for pair of jeans very quickly and squelched all the way to the train,Finally made it on to the train and ran into the toilet,took off ****ty jeans and through them out the window

I reached into the Micheal Guineys bag and took out a Denim Jacket:o

Edit $hit

kfallon · 07-03-2011 05:24PM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Yes i did once in North Earl St. on the way to Connolly station,wasnt a nice experience i can tell you

Anyhow i went into Micheal Guineys and asked for pair of jeans very quickly and squelched all the way to the train,Finally made it on to the train and ran into the toilet,took off ****ty jeans and through them out the window

I reached into the Micheal Guineys bag and took out a Denim Jacket:o

Spike Milligan.....is that you???

RichieC · 07-03-2011 05:25PM

fail pebbles

Insane Rambling · 07-03-2011 05:28PM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Yes i did once in North Earl St. on the way to Connolly station,wasnt a nice experience i can tell you

Anyhow i went into Micheal Guineys and asked for pair of jeans very quickly and squelched all the way to the train,Finally made it on to the train and ran into the toilet,took off ****ty jeans and through them out the window

I reached into the Micheal Guineys bag and took out a Denim Jacket:o

Edit ****

PMSL !:D

CrazySka · 07-03-2011 05:31PM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Yes i did once in North Earl St. on the way to Connolly station,wasnt a nice experience i can tell you

Anyhow i went into Micheal Guineys and asked for pair of jeans very quickly and squelched all the way to the train,Finally made it on to the train and ran into the toilet,took off ****ty jeans and through them out the window

I reached into the Micheal Guineys bag and took out a Denim Jacket:o

Edit $hit

Bye bye Credibility, this fail will be back to haunt you pebbles.......

chillywilly · 07-03-2011 05:33PM

As RichieC was asking, do sharts count? I rememeber I was on a lads holiday back in '05. We were playing pool in the hotel lobby after a night on the piss. I thought I was great because I was beating my mate and I was just about to pot the black when I let out a silent "fart". I soon realised it was a shart and i could feel it rolling down my leg at a fast pace(wearing shorts). I went from slagging my mate because I was just about to beat him to coming up with some stupid excuse and scurrying off to the toilet at a fast pace before they noticed it coming down my leg!! Thankfully they didn't notice and I lived to poo another day.

I hope no one is eating their dinner while reading this

RichieC · 07-03-2011 05:35PM

9 out of 10 sharts are drink related.

chillywilly · 07-03-2011 05:36PM

pebbles21 wrote: »

Yes i did once in North Earl St. on the way to Connolly station,wasnt a nice experience i can tell you

Anyhow i went into Micheal Guineys and asked for pair of jeans very quickly and squelched all the way to the train,Finally made it on to the train and ran into the toilet,took off ****ty jeans and through them out the window

I reached into the Micheal Guineys bag and took out a Denim Jacket:o

Edit $hit

So people really do lie on the internet :pac:

Captain_Generic · 07-03-2011 05:40PM

chillywilly wrote: »

So people really do lie on the internet :pac:

No they don't

chillywilly · 07-03-2011 05:43PM

Captain_Generic wrote: »

No they don't

I see what you're doing there!!

stoneill · 07-03-2011 05:43PM

I **** myself once but I was 5 yrs old at the time.

Captain_Generic · 07-03-2011 05:44PM

chillywilly wrote: »

I see what you're doing there!!

You haven't seen anything............ever

AnonoBoy · 07-03-2011 05:48PM

If it was food poisoning induced it doesn't count does it?

chillywilly · 07-03-2011 05:53PM

Captain_Generic wrote: »

You haven't seen anything............ever

You know me so well

RichieC · 07-03-2011 05:55PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

If it was food poisoning induced it doesn't count does it?

Counts more if it was a sulfur smelling ****e you get with food poisoning.

grumula · 07-03-2011 05:56PM

what self respecting drunkard hasn't sent a pint of gravy and raisins down their leg at one stage or another!
we share your pain OP!

Sergeant · 07-03-2011 06:00PM

Have experienced a couple of cases of acute swamp ass during long train journeys in Asia, but have never left a selection of butt conkers in the hamper. Long may that continue.

Ganymede Glow · 07-03-2011 06:04PM

Had a few sharts alright. not a good feeling at all

Did you ever Sh1t your pants?

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