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Constipated real bad

  • 06-03-2011 12:49AM
    #1
    rorymcgrory
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267 ✭✭


    I haven't had a poop since Tues or Wed. Can anyone pleasssseeeee suggest something to get me moving again?

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,816 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    It's basic maths. Use a pencil to work it out.


  • #3
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Take the dildo out of your ass - how else is the poop gonna come out??


  • #4
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    OP, you're full of ****.


  • #5
    mikemac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,967 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    Six pack of Bulmers Pear will see your right


  • #6
    Quandary
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,517 ✭✭✭Quandary


    rorymcgrory wrote: »
    I haven't had a poop since Tues or Wed. Can anyone pleasssseeeee suggest something to get me moving again?

    Thanks

    A good strong cup of coffee, followed by a litre of cranberry juice, followed by a few belts of senokot.

    that should get things moving for ya!


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  • #7
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    rorymcgrory wrote: »
    I haven't had a poop since Tues or Wed. Can anyone pleasssseeeee suggest something to get me moving again?

    Thanks

    I know we're not really supposed to give medical advice but you definitely have TB. A capfull of Comfort fabric softener will help you, it conditions the fibres you see...makes them soft, hold your nose when you're swallowing it.


    That will be €50 please.


  • #8
    amacca
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,970 ✭✭✭amacca


    rorymcgrory wrote: »
    pleasssseeeee

    jaysuuuuus rory -- tell me more about you're paain

    yeah yeah yeah

    it does be hard to be doin the do so it do be do!


    (lots of fruit, all bran- senokot maybe - see a doctor if that don't work)


  • #9
    Blobby George
    Closed Accounts Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Blobby George


    100 mls of extra virgin olive oil cut with cider vinegar should do the trick.


  • #10
    Leeg17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,127 ✭✭✭✭Leeg17


    Litre of Orange Juice. You'll have gone before 12am :p


  • #11
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    rorymcgrory wrote: »
    I haven't had a poop since Tues or Wed. Can anyone pleasssseeeee suggest something to get me moving again?

    Thanks

    where are you moving to ?


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  • #12
    PK2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    Big bowl of muesli, weetabix or shreddies

    ...or all 3 together


  • #13
    stevejr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭stevejr


    Boo!

    Did that help?

    What's the reason for being reasonable?

    Is that an unreasonable question?



  • #14
    LETHAL LADY
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    Laughter is always the best medicine.


  • #15
    Alter-Ego
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    A fag and a cup of coffee. It'll be shooting outa ya!


  • #16
    Daegerty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,864 ✭✭✭Daegerty


    Cork screw


  • #17
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,078 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    I remember when it was all just political threads in here!

    Fond memories..


  • #18
    stevejr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭stevejr


    hondasam wrote: »
    where are you moving to ?


    The Full-up-pinos.....


    Oh Hi tumbleweed.

    What's the reason for being reasonable?

    Is that an unreasonable question?



  • #19
    stevejr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭stevejr


    foxinsox wrote: »
    I remember when it was all just political threads in here!

    Fond memories..


    It's all gone down-hill since then. Well....except for the OP obviously.

    What's the reason for being reasonable?

    Is that an unreasonable question?



  • #20
    sollar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,007 ✭✭✭sollar


    eat a packet of sugar free chewing gums supposed to be some laxative effect in them.


  • #21
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    foxinsox wrote: »
    I remember when it was all just political threads in here!

    Fond memories..


    not much has changed still a lot of ****e talk


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  • #22
    stevejr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭stevejr


    TheZohan wrote: »
    I know we're not really supposed to give medical advice but you definitely have TB. A capfull of Comfort fabric softener will help you, it conditions the fibres you see...makes them soft, hold your nose when you're swallowing it.


    That will be €50 please.


    Don't kill him FFS I wanna see how this..... turns out!

    What's the reason for being reasonable?

    Is that an unreasonable question?



  • #23
    rorymcgrory
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267 ✭✭rorymcgrory


    I cant wait to poop again, I miss it so much.

    Tried them all....

    Oranges, orange juice, boiled eggs( had 4 for my tea) coffee and fags, cereal.

    Not even a fart....

    Funny thing is I'm not hurting just worried I might be backing up a bit.

    Anyone want to buy some toilet paper?


  • #24
    Plazaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,037 ✭✭✭Plazaman


    rorymcgrory wrote: »
    I haven't had a poop since Tues or Wed. Can anyone pleasssseeeee suggest something to get me moving again?

    Thanks


    I find a rhumba or a foxtrot is great to get someone moving. When you progress to tap, you'll never stop.


  • #25
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,078 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    hondasam wrote: »
    not much has changed still a lot of ****e talk

    yeah, but there's sh*te talk and there's actual sh*te talk..

    quite a difference in my preference of reading..

    :)


  • #26
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Ask a pharmacist. I'm gonna use the "we don't give medical advice" excuse here.


This discussion has been closed.
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