Co Workers from hell (In the Canteen)

Screaminmidget · 16-02-2011 02:29PM

grrrrrrrrrr wrote: »

When we were in school the lads used to spit on their chips. No one would go near them. If they really hated them, they wouldnt tell them and just laugh when they took some

Very Same, Or cough on Them :pac: ah, the poor fools

billymitchell · 16-02-2011 02:33PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Some of the people I work with have no etiquette when it comes to having lunch in our lunchroom.
1. One lad has cornflakes at breakfast every morning and fills his bowl with milk to nearly overflowing then just eats the cornflakes and leaves the milk in the bowl and puts into sink with the stopper in. (We all pay for the milk)
2. I once was having coffee and when lifting the coffee jar by the lid the jar fell as the lid was not secured properly and the coffee spilt all over the wet work surface. It took me 5 minutes to clean, then when I lifted the milk from the fridge the exact same thing happened. Every day someone just puts the lid on things without screwing them and other people spill it.
3. One lad comes over any day I bring dinner with his fork and samples my dinner, grunts and has another forkfull before commenting on the taste of it, sometimes he gives it the thumbs up but other times he will show his disgust.
Do these people act like this at home I wonder?
Are all Irish people ignorant when it comes to feeding time?
Do you have issues in your canteen at work and what action have you taken?

Jaysus OP, your life is pretty difficult at the moment if this is all thats worrying you.
P.S. Dont lift stuff by the lid

STIG83 · 16-02-2011 02:47PM

Is the OP's username the character from Angela's Ashes?

bonerm · 16-02-2011 02:50PM

STIG83 wrote: »

Is the OP's username the character from Angela's Ashes?

That was Laman Griffen. Tho he didn't like people nicking his chips either.

STIG83 · 16-02-2011 02:53PM

bonerm wrote: »

That was Laman Griffen. Tho he didn't like people nicking his chips either.

I have it now!! Lando Griffin was in Family Guy

CrazyRabbit · 16-02-2011 02:56PM

Notorious97 wrote: »

What ive learned from this thread is we have a good few crazy bast@rds on this forum, and a couple of lying nutjobs!

Hi Notorious97. Would you like a sandwich? I made one just for you.

kfallon · 16-02-2011 02:57PM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Hi Notorious97. Would you like a sandwich? I made one just for you.

Is it smelly nutella?

BostonB · 16-02-2011 03:08PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Some of the people I work with have no etiquette when it comes to having lunch in our lunchroom.
1. One lad has cornflakes at breakfast every morning and fills his bowl with milk to nearly overflowing then just eats the cornflakes and leaves the milk in the bowl and puts into sink with the stopper in. (We all pay for the milk)

Ban him for the milk or buy your own.

Lando Griffin wrote: »

2. I once was having coffee and when lifting the coffee jar by the lid the jar fell as the lid was not secured properly and the coffee spilt all over the wet work surface. It took me 5 minutes to clean, then when I lifted the milk from the fridge the exact same thing happened. Every day someone just puts the lid on things without screwing them and other people spill it.

A lid is not a handle. Learn the lesson.

Lando Griffin wrote: »

3. One lad comes over any day I bring dinner with his fork and samples my dinner, grunts and has another forkfull before commenting on the taste of it, sometimes he gives it the thumbs up but other times he will show his disgust.

Grow a spine and tell them to * off.

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Do these people act like this at home I wonder?
Are all Irish people ignorant when it comes to feeding time?

Whats ignorant is that question.

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Do you have issues in your canteen at work and what action have you taken?

No. Stand up for yourself.

jimthemental · 16-02-2011 03:10PM

Most of my workmates are Polish but have an excellent standard of English. Really pisses me off when they talk in Polish in the canteen to exclude you from a conversation on purpose. That and someone is robbing the bread and milk left over every evening.

AnonoBoy · 16-02-2011 03:20PM

jimthemental wrote: »

Most of my workmates are Polish but have an excellent standard of English. Really pisses me off when they talk in Polish in the canteen to exclude you from a conversation on purpose.

Perhaps it's because they hate you?

They told me this yesterday:

nienawidzimy jimthemental, my rzeczywiście robi.

kfallon · 16-02-2011 03:37PM

jimthemental wrote: »

Most of my workmates are Polish but have an excellent standard of English. Really pisses me off when they talk in Polish in the canteen to exclude you from a conversation on purpose. That and someone is robbing the bread and milk left over every evening.

Yeah same here but what really annoys me most of all is when they don't clean up after themsleves in the canteen/kitchen, leave the swan carcasses lying around after they've made their sambos :pac:

alandublin15 · 16-02-2011 04:05PM

mod - close forum.
its a load of shyte haw haw.

no really though. ridiculous, even for boards.

newmug · 16-02-2011 04:14PM

chicken fingers wrote: »

But really, thats just not true is it?
Sometimes stories sound better in your head.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'd be willing to gamble that it's not.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You have a neighbour that sh*ts in sandwiches and brings them to work with him?

Surely the smell from a sh*t sandwich would tip anyone off about this ingenious 'trap'. Did the thieving co-worker and everyone else in the workplace have absolutely no sense of smell?

I think you should not neccessarily believe every single story your neighbour tells you.

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that anyone would resort to ****ting on a slice of bread and feeding it to a co-worker before they'd actually just say "stay the **** away from my lunch".

kfallon wrote: »

That is why it's unbelievable and patently not true!
If he'd stopped at the wiping bread along his hole bit he might have got away with it but he couldn't stop himself and started billy bullshittin' to make the story more 'exciting' and that's where it all fell to pieces!

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Don't mind if I dooooo!

Wouldn't say he cares that much to be honest.

kfallon wrote: »

Why would I want their names and addresses???
Plus the guy who ate the sambo would hardly be too willing to come forward and say, "Yes that was me, 100% I got caught out, I ate the krud sambo!" to a complete stranger!

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I want the name and address of the guy who has no sense of smell. My brother is a research scientist and he needs people who although in possession of all of their senses patently ignore what those senses are telling them and go through with mind-numbingly stupid actions (like biting into something that smells of sh*t).

His paper when published is going to be called:

"Ignoring the facts: A study in who people ignore their senses and believe bullsh*t."

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Who bites into a sandwich without checking what type it is in the first place never mind if it smells of ****.

Notorious97 wrote: »

What ive learned from this thread is we have a good few crazy bast@rds on this forum, and a couple of lying nutjobs!

kfallon wrote: »

Is it smelly nutella?

How come there's such a high proportion of no-life begrudgers on boards? Its a remarkable recount of events, therefore it must br a lie:rolleyes:

milehip1 wrote: »

what happened the other half did he take a bite of it himself just to keep up the pretence?

and what about his other sandwiches or did he have said **** sandwich kept in seperate lunchbox to avoid cross contamination???

He had the sh1t sandwich in tinfoil. He had his own sandwiches in a different package of tinfoil. He began to eat his own nice sandwiches, and left one half of the sh1t sandwich in its tinfoil, with the tinfoil opened, as if the half he was eating came from that package. He left it on the ground beside his flask. Yerman just came in, picked it up, and took a bite. That was it.

AnonoBoy · 16-02-2011 04:27PM

newmug wrote: »

How come there's such a high proportion of no-life begrudgers on boards? Its a remarkable recount of events, therefore it must br a lie:rolleyes:

Ah yes, the old 'if you've never defecated in a sandwich and brought it to work and fed it to another man then you have no life' comeback.

PS - I am still awaiting the promised names and addresses of the people involved for the aforementioned study.

mcmoustache · 16-02-2011 04:41PM

Could we get the Flutt's opinion on this?

I think that a slightly dried shít in a sandwich would actually pass the smell test. Wet stuff is still producing methane and that wafts through the air. A day-old slice in a sambo would probably be fairly inert and so would probably only smell if you got close and sniffed it.

Jaxxy · 16-02-2011 04:43PM

mcmoustache wrote: »

Could we get the Flutt's opinion on this?

I think that a slightly dried shít in a sandwitch would actually pass the smell test. Wet stuff is still producing methane and that wafts through the air. A day-old slice in a sambo would probably be fairly inert and so would probably only smell if you got close and sniffed it.

Like close enough to eat it?

mcmoustache · 16-02-2011 05:01PM

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Like close enough to eat it?

Yes. That would probably be close enough.
If the guy just shoved it into his gob without thinking, then the smell might not have registered. Also, some sandwich fillings smell like poo anyway. Pate or marmite, for example.

ynul31f47k6b59 · 16-02-2011 05:20PM

OP, look what you've started. A debate on the reality of sh!t sandwiches. I hope you're happy.

What I want* to know is:

"One lad comes over any day I bring dinner with his fork and samples my dinner, grunts and has another forkfull before commenting on the taste of it, sometimes he gives it the thumbs up but other times he will show his disgust." - Why does he grunt? And is there a note of sadness in there in relation to the fact that he doesn't always like it?

"I once was having coffee and when lifting the coffee jar by the lid the jar fell as the lid was not secured properly and the coffee spilt all over the wet work surface." - Why were you using an electric kettle near a wet work surface?

*Well I say "want"...

newmug · 16-02-2011 05:29PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Ah yes, the old 'if you've never defecated in a sandwich and brought it to work and fed it to another man then you have no life' comeback.

PS - I am still awaiting the promised names and addresses of the people involved for the aforementioned study.

PM SENT.

AnonoBoy · 16-02-2011 05:37PM

Lads we'll soon get to the bottom of this. I am sending out a letter tonight to the sole survivor of the 'sh*t sandwich' incident.

kfallon · 16-02-2011 05:38PM

I thought both survived to tell the tale???

Jaxxy · 16-02-2011 05:39PM

Jaysis newmug, I'd hate to be your neighbour if you've taken to giving out his personal details to an unknown stranger on the internet.

AnonoBoy · 16-02-2011 05:40PM

kfallon wrote: »

I thought both survived to tell the tale???

Nope, the poor unfortunate who ate the sandwich died.

Whether this is because of the sh*t sandwich eating or not we have yet to ascertain.

kfallon · 16-02-2011 05:46PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Nope, the poor unfortunate who ate the sandwich died.

Whether this is because of the sh*t sandwich eating or not we have yet to ascertain.

Prob the distress of eating the sandwich and the realisation of the notoriety that would follow him around for the rest of his life. His former home is now part of the Tourist Trail in his home town, "And this is where the famous Shit Sandwich Eater resided, legend has it he was often seen out late at night eating dog poo from neighbours gardens and randomly picking cats up to just lick their ringpieces!"

SadieSue · 16-02-2011 05:47PM

I think you have to be fairly evil to do something like that. What if the guy got hepatitis or something?

AnonoBoy · 16-02-2011 05:50PM

SadieSue wrote: »

What if the guy got hepatitis or something?

Well he is dead now so perhaps he did.

To be honest I certainly wouldn't have given out the names and addresses of the people involved, and frankly I'm a bit surprised that newmug did so. Although he did say I'll end up in court if I spread it around so I'm guessing that means that it didn't happen because why would you end up in court for just stating the truth about something?

Frynge · 16-02-2011 06:07PM

newmug wrote: »

My neighbour experienced a fella like that. This lad would rob one of his sandwiches every day and eat it like he had every right in the world to. So one day, the neighbour took a slice of bread to his arse, deposited a generous sh1te onto said bread, placed another slice on top and cut it in half. He brought it to work the next day and yerman fell for the trap, stole a sh1t sandwich, and took a huge bite! Needless to say that sorted the problem out!!!!

I used to ave a neighbour like that always talking sh/te.

frag420 wrote: »

Come again??

Famous words of the virgin mary

joannaman · 16-02-2011 11:15PM

All this talk of **** sandwiches is making me want to watch Spinal Tap!

I used to work with a guy who was a bit simple but harmless - a small, balding guy who wore dunnes jumpers from the 80s. Every day he'd sidle into the (quite large) canteen and survey the scene, see where all the nice ladies were sitting and then strut over beside them. One occasion he sat down beside some girls, they said hi, were polite and they continued their own conversation, whilst he sat there staring at them. Then suddenly he starts head-banging, singing 'dur dur durrr de durrr' for a few seconds, then stops and says ' yeah, i'm a bit of a rocker!', then went silent again. I had to check with another lad to see did I hear right and yes i did!

Lando Griffin · 17-02-2011 10:06AM

mcmoustache wrote: »

Could we get the Flutt's opinion on this?

I think that a slightly dried shít in a sandwich would actually pass the smell test. Wet stuff is still producing methane and that wafts through the air. A day-old slice in a sambo would probably be fairly inert and so would probably only smell if you got close and sniffed it.

As a person who has lived with someone who shat himself while sleeping on the couch, and then disposed of the waste material and soiled underware into a hole in the lining of the couch, **** still smell of **** for weeks after.

Lando Griffin · 17-02-2011 10:13AM

Mike Clean Paperwork wrote: »

OP, look what you've started. A debate on the reality of sh!t sandwiches. I hope you're happy.

What I want* to know is:

"One lad comes over any day I bring dinner with his fork and samples my dinner, grunts and has another forkfull before commenting on the taste of it, sometimes he gives it the thumbs up but other times he will show his disgust." - Why does he grunt? And is there a note of sadness in there in relation to the fact that he doesn't always like it?

"I once was having coffee and when lifting the coffee jar by the lid the jar fell as the lid was not secured properly and the coffee spilt all over the wet work surface." - Why were you using an electric kettle near a wet work surface?

*Well I say "want"...

1. It makes me feel good when someone appricates my cooking.
2. People in the canteen have a habbit of filling the electic kettle up to the spout hence causing it to boil onto the worktop. Although a sign has been made pointing out the fact that it is dangerous, costly and ruins several kettles per year, the offenders keep doing it.

Co Workers from hell (In the Canteen)

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