Starting in Garnerville soon? Read this:

Or get them to say "power shower" or "I found a pound on the ground". Works every time!

shampon wrote: »

I sound like a Dublin scrote. I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. People will be asking me to say 33 and 1/3 but I have my own fail safe comeback. Ask them to say, 'Now on UTV, Deirdre is in between Ken and Steve McDonald...'.

You'd have to shave it off during your time as a Student Officer. No excuses.

Awww shucks... I remember writing this thread as if it was just 6 years and 10 ago!

To those of you hopeful of receiving what we call "THE call" in this forum, my sauces tell me that the first intake of Student Officers will be in May. I obviously cannot disclose the date for security reasons, but true to form, the start day is Sunday, which is known as "Killer Sunday" because it's a long, long, long day.

I hope some of you on this forum, affectionate known as "boardsies", will be successful and will have a room reservation with your name on it.

The highest number of boardsies to ever join in the same intake was 8 out of an intake of 48. 1 in 6. From the feedback I received, those 8 Constables (at this stage) all agreed that Day 1, along with the 4-week residential period, and the entire 20-week course was made much easier because they all had each other to bounce off. I was also on a major high when I heard that all 8 had bonded instantly regardless of their political backgrounds, and were all helping each other out in areas where they had experience, and vice versa. An example was that one guy had experience bulling boots, but couldn't turn a computer on, and another was a computer whizz who couldn't get the initial bull on the boot for love nor money. The trade off was easy: I'll type up your statements if you bull my boots? DEAL! Another guy was a fitness guru who did personalised fitness programs for one S/O, who, in turn, ironed his Number 1 kit.

This was all possible because they did the last thing I told them, which was to leave your ego at the gate, as well as political views, expectations of auto-respect because of your former job/service, and walk in as a blank canvas: Ready to learn, and prepared to mix with those who would have polar opposite political views to yours, but more importantly, willing to learn how and why your political opposites came to form those views and opinions.

Once you have that willingness to learn, everyone agreed that they found themselves slowly, but genuinely, respecting their polar opposite's views and opinions, and receiving it back in equal measure. Agreeing to disagree, and later on in the bar, sitting shoulder to shoulder in the bar over a beer, relaxing with some people who would be your friends for the rest of your life.

At last count, this forum has helped over 100 people through the gates of Garnerville, and then to read that this thread is someone's favourite thread on the whole of the internets? It wouldn't have been possible without ME, so I'd like to take this time to thank me for all my hard work and dedication to the forum. I take all the credit, thanks and glory for my altruism and require everyone to genuflect every time they click on forum 1082, and as you rise, you whisper "Thank you Shield, even though I am not worthy of your benevolence, I live in hope that some day I may touch the hem of your garment so that I too may become a deluded, power-hungry, insecure megalomaniac."

Homer01 wrote: »

This is my favourite thread on the internet

Have read it several times since October. Hopefully GV's latest batch can add to it!