The dark truth behind Winnie the Pooh and his "Friends".

So they're really all mentally damaged addicts at rehab.

The Hundred Acre Wood is the park beside the centre.

Christopher Robin is the kind-hearted warden who likes to let them loose a while.

"Winnie" is the oldest of the crazy chums, and the least barmy, but he has a stash of "honey" (read: heroin) and likes to flaunt it in front of his needy pals.

"Piglet" is all sweet and innocent but in fact he's pulling a Jack Nicholson/Cuckoo's Nest, to get away with "it" (he never talks about "it", and no-one asks.)

"Rabbit" used to work at the centre but now he's been turned, that's why he's such a bossy bastard..he thinks he's still in charge.

"Owl" was grand until he lost all his men in Afghanistan...the drugs killed the pain, now he has tea (read: methadone).

"Eeyore's" been clean and sane for years, but just too damned bored and depressed to bother leaving.

And "Tigger" is straight-up bonkers---he actually does bounce on his tail...his man-tail.

Discuss.