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Can anyone else see what is wrong with this?

  • 02-12-2010 03:50PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭


    I got this e-mail today and now i have a pain in my arse explaining why it does not work. And some people cant get it. So just for fun how many people here cans see whats wrong with it?

    It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.


    Spoiler:
    The hotel owner is now down 100 euro, he has lost the money the hooker owed him.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Guill wrote: »
    And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

    In Gumdrop-Smiles land it might work but not here in reality. Eurgh, sounds like something I'll be seeing on Facebook in the next few days.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    yeah like a hooker would do you on credit


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,688 ✭✭✭Kasabian


    No wonder the hotels are closing at an alarming rate.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    You can't pay for a hotel in cash, and nobody sells stuff on credit anymore.


    Everything is wrong with that email.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Flimbos


    Everyone in the town (except the hotel owner) have their balance sheet breaking even (they all owe €100, but they are all owed €100), so it looks like a fairly prosperous town by today's Irish standards.

    And if that hooker is so hard up, she should cut down on her drinking!

    If only it was this simple!
    The hotel owner is in the same position he was in before (€100 down) - the hooker paid her bill, and he lost it, but he paid off his own debt.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 265 ✭✭Blarney92


    But didn't the hotel owner pay off the hundred euro debt he owed the butcher...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,820 ✭✭✭Archeron


    I wouldn't put a hundred quid down just to inspect a hotel room.

    I wonder what he found that made it unsatisfactory? Maybe the hooker and butcher doing the nasty on the bed in the room he went into. In fairness they must have all been fairly close by for that many transactions to take place while somebody is noticing the jizz stains on the hotel rooms curtains.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    Blarney92 wrote: »
    But didn't the hotel owner pay off the hundred euro debt he owed the butcher...

    yeah but the hundred quid that was owed to him is now gone to the tourist, so he still down 100


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 736 ✭✭✭darsar


    The German is the Germans. The hotelier is Bif and Lenihan. The butcher is the Banks. The pig farmers are the NAMA 10. The suppliers of feed and fuel are Semi State heads.

    So in my conclusion I'm either a publican or a prostitute.

    Or both.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,327 ✭✭✭Sykk


    tl;dr


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,210 ✭✭✭dolphin city


    he would have been better off if he told the tourist to feck off with his money and then paid off his debt with his own 100 Euro note. It would come back to him again in the end anyway as the last person owed him money for the hotel.

    Becaue the tourist is involved he walks away with his money and the hotel person has no 100 euro to put back in the till.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    March called, they want their post back.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 736 ✭✭✭darsar


    he would have been better off if he told the tourist to feck off with his money and then paid off his debt with his own 100 Euro note. It would come back to him again in the end anyway as the last person owed him money for the hotel.

    Becaue the tourist is involved he walks away with his money and the hotel person has no 100 euro to put back in the till.

    The pro need the money from the pub to pay her room. The publicans money came down the line from zee jermans!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭knird evol


    Just one slight problem I noticed with the story. And I could be nit picking here. But bare with me. This story bares absolutely no correlation, not within a million fucking miles of a connection to anything remotely to do with the mechanics of the bank guarantee, the ecb 'bail out' or any aspect of our financial crisis.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭puttputt


    It works because:

    The Hotel Keeper owed 100 to the butcher and was owed 100 by the hooker so one balances the other and he is in a nil situation.

    The fact that the 100 he got from the hooker was given back to the tourist doesn't matter as he no longer owes the butcher.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,539 ✭✭✭anothernight


    phasers wrote: »
    You can't pay for a hotel in cash, and nobody sells stuff on credit anymore.


    Everything is wrong with that email.

    Yes you can. Most of them will ask you for a deposit though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭smk89


    You have wasted 5 minutes of my life!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Yes you can. Most of them will ask you for a deposit though.
    I thought the majority made you give a credit card now in case you stole something or fcuked up the room?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭puttputt


    The reason it doesn't really work is that there is no real debt in the situation.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭knird evol


    phasers wrote: »
    I thought the majority made you give a credit card now in case you stole something or fcuked up the room?

    Just you phasers. Your name is on a national database.
    How long did you think you'd get away with throwing those tv's out the windows


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  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 99,589 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    It only worked out because the debts were internal.

    Our debts are external.



    But yes it does show how injecting money in to an economy can get things moving , but you have to remember that here in Ireland richer people are far more likely to save the money, invest in abroad than re-inject it back in the local economy in a short timescale. Giving money to those at the bottom of the rung means it's more likely to go around. In the case of Ireland we are talking a tiny percentage of the bailout, but it probably won't happen.



    How many people thing the banks will lend a resonable amount of the bail out to small firms that are up against the wall ??


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭knird evol


    puttputt wrote: »
    It works because:

    The Hotel Keeper owed 100 to the butcher and was owed 100 by the hooker so one balances the other and he is in a nil situation.

    The fact that the 100 he got from the hooker was given back to the tourist doesn't matter as he no longer owes the butcher.

    God, if only the world really worked this way. Where people had bank accounts and settled bills at the end of the month and money circulated around the economy.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭knird evol


    Because of the bank guarantee, irish citizens will have to discharge the debts of some private business for generations to come, money that would otherwise be spent on services that benefit them and will now be denied them.

    There's nothing circular about that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,210 ✭✭✭dolphin city


    puttputt wrote: »
    It works because:

    The Hotel Keeper owed 100 to the butcher and was owed 100 by the hooker so one balances the other and he is in a nil situation.

    The fact that the 100 he got from the hooker was given back to the tourist doesn't matter as he no longer owes the butcher.

    as I said - he would have been better off if he paid out of his own pocket to the butcher and getting the money back from the hooker to put back in his pocket. bringing some "tourist" in to slap money and conditions down only complicate the matter - feck the tourist.

    The tourist is a non sensical step - they can work it out themselves without the tourist involved.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Forest Master


    Guill wrote: »
    I got this e-mail today and now i have a pain in my arse explaining why it does not work. And some people cant get it. So just for fun how many people here cans see whats wrong with it?
    Spoiler:
    The hotel owner is now down 100 euro, he has lost the money the hooker owed him.

    You're right that it doesn't work, but your reason/spoiler isn't why. It doesn't work because nobody was in debt to begin with - everyone owed someone €100, but everyone was also owed €100 = €0 on balance sheet = not in debt.

    So they all started off owing €0 and ended up owing €0. Sin é.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,539 ✭✭✭anothernight


    phasers wrote: »
    I thought the majority made you give a credit card now in case you stole something or fcuked up the room?

    No. If you offer to pay in cash they will take it (I'm sure somewhere they won't, but I've never had anyone refuse). The deposit they ask for when you pay cash is in case you break something in the room. If you're a regular guest in the hotel, if you look somewhat decent, or if you know someone in the hotel it's actually quite easy to waive the need to pay a deposit, not that they should let you do that!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭Plek Trum


    What is wrong in the OP?

    1) Grammar
    2) Lack of structure and paragraphs
    3) Poor delivery and presentation.

    The end. ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Fukuyama


    phasers wrote: »
    You can't pay for a hotel in cash, and nobody sells stuff on credit anymore.


    Everything is wrong with that email.

    It's illegal for any business in Ireland not to accept cash once it's legal tender (Ie. Euro notes that are real).

    The hotel industry are pushing for credit cards or laser cards for security issues and because it's easier to track you down and charge you if you light your bed on fire.

    But if a hotel ever refuses to accept cash, they're breaking the law.

    - Dean.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    knird evol wrote: »
    Just you phasers. Your name is on a national database.
    How long did you think you'd get away with throwing those tv's out the windows
    That's small time, I smuggle the TVs out and throw the bed out the window.

    Joke's on them though, I use 3v vouchers with the exact cost of the room on it


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    phasers wrote: »
    Joke's on them though, I use 3v vouchers with the exact cost of the room on it

    3V vouchers and false identities are made for each other!!

    It's how I pay for the shipment of my slaves ;)


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