Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

I think i messed up a new friendship and i feel bad about it

  • 07-11-2010 07:29AM
    #1
    arsenallegend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 712 ✭✭✭


    Basically i told this girl who i have struck up a friendship in collage with that i fancied her during a conversation, The girl is very cool and she makes me laugh but there was always something in the back of my mind i knew i was digging a hole for myself seen as she had a boyfriend but i felt the fact a few people in class have came up to me and told me that we would make a great couple, and also the fact we flirt like crazy. I taught i give it a go.

    well it turned out she wasn't very happy saying she was only been friendly like she is with others in class, she isn't . She then start to blame me on everything and then basically went off without a goodbye:(.

    Can i say goodbye to the Friendship or can i save it? i really do feel bad about i

    p.s by the way i don't regret saying what i did to her i would do it again.


Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 36,733 CMod ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    arsenallegend wrote: »
    but there was always something in the back of my mind i knew i was digging a hole for myself seen as she had a boyfriend
    You should have listened to your inner voice.
    arsenallegend wrote: »
    well it turned out she wasn't very happy saying she was only been friendly
    Which may be honest from her viewpoint.
    arsenallegend wrote: »
    Can i say goodbye to the Friendship or can i save it?
    Odds are it's goodbye.
    arsenallegend wrote: »
    i really do feel bad about i
    If this is true, how can you say this (below)?
    arsenallegend wrote: »
    p.s by the way i don't regret saying what i did to her i would do it again.


  • #3
    silkworm53
    Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭silkworm53


    Sorry pal but you blew it big time.
    In future if you want to be with a girl you don't go down the friend route and then suddenly reveal you want to be with her.
    She will think you were being sly and trying to fool her all along.
    Instead you make it clear from the get go that you want her.


  • #4
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    arsenallegend wrote: »
    Can i say goodbye to the Friendship or can i save it? i really do feel bad about i

    p.s by the way i don't regret saying what i did to her i would do it again.

    Good, you shouldn't regret saying it to her - otherwise you'd be posting in 6 months about the girl you are madly in love with but haven't said anything to.

    Why do you want to save the friendship? Being friends with someone you fancy is a headwreck. Stay polite, but don't push for anything.


  • #5
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    arsenallegend wrote: »
    and also the fact we flirt like crazy. I taught i give it a go.

    well it turned out she wasn't very happy saying she was only been friendly like she is with others in class, she isn't . She then start to blame me on everything and then basically went off without a goodbye:(.

    Hey, older woman here. Here's some advice lad, stop beating yourself up.

    She was prick teasing you and leading you on (flirting with you to such an extent that others in the class commented you two would make a good couple) so she wasn't thinking about her boyfriend then. Dont mind her bull$hit that she was only being friendly.

    She feels guilty and out of her depth and doesn't know why so she has projected the blame onto you. Don't fall for it. The worst thing you could do is go around acting all angst ridden and guilty. You did nothing much wrong. Alright you came onto some lads girlfriend but you have no loyalty to him and she gave you plenty of come on.

    That's not to say dont learn from this or do it again. Do learn and don't do it again. I remember being young and with a boyfriend, I didn't know where the boundaries were at times and messed up unintentionally or sometimes intentionally.

    If she's serious about her boyfriend, she needs to learn the subtle art of being friendly without being a tease/leading someone on. A bit of harmless flirting is ok but it's important to be able to observe when the other person is getting the wrong idea.

    You aren't absolved of personal responsibility BUT neither is she. Hold your head up high and don't mind her drama queen antics.


  • #6
    Distorted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭Distorted


    I agree with the above. She sounds a bit of an attention seeker. I say this having watched the most flirty woman I've ever seen in action last night, and I know for a fact she has a boyfriend at home. I'd hate to be like that. If you really want to be friends with her, leave it for a couple of weeks, then just say to her you were sorry about before and just want to be friends without any awkwardness. But I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about her, you did nothing wrong.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    weatherguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭weatherguy


    Forget her and move on. I agree with the two above contributors. She lead you one. She wasn't thinking of her bf when she happily flirted with you.
    She's an attention seeker.
    And now she feels guilty so she is blaming you.
    Tell her where to go and just forget about her.
    She has no respect for you or, for that matter, her boyfriend, but herself.
    Move on. You did nothing wrong. In a way you called her bluff by telling her you liked her and she couldn't handle that.
    She's a prick tease and handwrecker.
    Just ignore her.


  • #8
    arsenallegend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 712 ✭✭✭arsenallegend


    its nice to know i wasn';t in the wrong cause she really went off on me :(
    she didn't turn up for college today which helped a lot

    i'm not going to bother really anymore cause after that outburst i got from her i rather keep away from her.


  • #9
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Excellent post by Cheap Thrills!

    Forget her! She IS a pr*ck tease.
    The only thing you did wrong was to try it on with a girl who had a boyfriend (that is bad, sure many a fight has started over that as you know)
    But on the other side of the coin you tried it on with a girl who you were sure was flirting with you back. Then all of a sudden its all your fault? you picked it up wrong? how dare you? :rolleyes:

    The attitude of a pri*ck tease my friend.
    One common thing i've noticed is that a tease never official flirts. Its always others "that get it wrong" :rolleyes:


  • #10
    Trixie_Gem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭Trixie_Gem


    Its a hard one..

    Give her time dont push anything at the minute


Advertisement
Advertisement