Things you do occasionally that make you feel like a right idiot.

Snakeblood · 04-11-2010 11:38AM

Hyperbullet wrote: »

We all have a few things that when they do occur, you feel like a right tool.

So what stupid things are you guilty of?

A few minutes ago I cooked a small pizza for myself due to skipping dinner. Even though the thing was roasting hot and I knew it'd burn the inside of my mouth, I've had it happen a thousand times before, I went for it anyway. I now sit here with a scalded tongue, feeling like a complete idiot.

The floor is yours..

Bought an apartment in 2007.

frank reynolds · 04-11-2010 11:44AM

those internal farts that you hold in on the bus/train that actually make more noise than if you had let it out.

eugh.

Chiorino · 04-11-2010 11:57AM

Going into auto pilot when driving. Usually happens when part of the drive takes in a route I might do a lot. Only realise you've gone to the wrong place, usually about ten miles from where you meant to go, when you actually stop the car. Duh.

Hyperbullet · 04-11-2010 11:59AM

Woke up this morning after a solid 8 hour kip, delighted with myself I decided to stretch out the legs and arms, and promptly fell out of the bed. Stupid spacial awareness.

Firehen · 04-11-2010 12:08PM

Saying "seeya later" on the phone to people I don't know. Its just instinct, but I do it on the phone to customer support agents, telemarketers etc.

Always feel like a tool when I hang up and realise what I've said.

Sykk · 04-11-2010 12:08PM

Some hot blonde waving at me on the street, I wave back with a dazzling smile.. Might even throw in a wink.. To realize she was waving to the person behind me.

anniehoo · 04-11-2010 12:09PM

Taking a hammer and screwdriver to my freezer as i was too impatient to wait for it to defrost. Punctured a hole and banjaxed it-4 weeks without a fridge now and the stupidity feeling hasnt faded one bit!:o

Duggy747 · 04-11-2010 12:32PM

Car drives past, beeps it's horn, you wave back only to realise you have no idea who the person is and they were beeping at someone else.

In your office, you look around..............area clear.................let out a royal foghorn of a fart...........ooooh, it's a smelly one............0.5 milliseconds later somebody walks in looking for you....................you can tell by their barely hidden disgusted face they got the whiff.

Putting a pie in the oven, come back to it 30 minutes later only to realise you set the oven to "Grill"

Meeting someone who you've completely forgotten their name when really you shouldn't have and as a joke they ask you do you remember their name................there's no way to wiggle out of that one.

Girlfriend put one of those microwaveable soups in the microwave.............she forgot to take it out of it's aluminium package................the light show was pretty cool. :pac:

BeerWolf · 04-11-2010 12:35PM

Being so bloody absendminded lately, capable of doing something and immediately forgeting about it like 5 seconds later...

e.g. - Bought something at a fast food restaurant, and after paying I was just about to walk out without me food...

:pac:

Think I'm getting alzheimers

ScumLord · 04-11-2010 12:43PM

Paying taxes, I always feel like a right tool paying something like road tax then dodging pot holes on the drive home.

Slunk · 04-11-2010 12:44PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Car drives past, beeps it's horn, you wave back only to realise you have no idea who the person is and they were beeping at someone else.

c:

I do that sometimes driving down the road. Wave at random people just to mess with them. Some look confused, some wave back knowing full well we don't know each other. Either way i get my fun

Greyfox · 04-11-2010 12:53PM

Going into the womens jacks rather then the mens...done it a good bit lately!

NothingMan · 04-11-2010 01:10PM

Getting that panicked feeling when I don't feel my phone in my pocket, while I'm on the phone.

I once tried to pay for my chinese take away several times but that was drunkenness really, embarrassing the next day when we were back in and the woman kept on telling me I already paid and laughing at me. I had no idea what was going on until my mates filled me in on the previous nights idiocy.

Princess Peach · 04-11-2010 02:22PM

A certain man

gent9662 · 04-11-2010 02:28PM

CorkMan wrote: »

Ejaculating in towels and putting them back on the rack.

Thanks for your input Neil.

liah · 04-11-2010 02:29PM

The most common for me is getting up and walking to another room, absolutely determined to do something.. and then completely, totally forgetting what it was.

So I go and sit back down til I figure it out again, figure it out, get up, walk there.. and forget again.

Must look absolutely daft.

gent9662 · 04-11-2010 02:34PM

No checking the handicapped toilet cubicle opposite our office for toilet paper and then taking a dump only realizing afterwards that there is none. Then pulling up my trousers with a dirty arse and walking upstairs (without trying to make eye contact with anybody), to the mens where I should have gone in the first place for my dump.

Jaxxy · 04-11-2010 02:43PM

liah wrote: »

The most common for me is getting up and walking to another room, absolutely determined to do something.. and then completely, totally forgetting what it was.

So I go and sit back down til I figure it out again, figure it out, get up, walk there.. and forget again.

Must look absolutely daft.

I do this all the time. Or I'll walk all the way up the stairs and then stop, stand on the landing trying to figure out why I came up the stairs. Then I'll go back down again, remember, walk up the stairs again and go into the wrong room.

Sometimes I'll go looking for my glasses and eventually realise I have my contact lenses in. This is especially ridiculous because if I didn't have them in I wouldn't be able to see a single thing that wasn't right in front of me.

I've also responded with a "you too!" when a delivery person or a waiter tells me to enjoy my meal. Also, on the phone in work a few times I've asked someone how they are today? They'll respond with "fine" and I'll follow up with a "not too bad" even though they haven't asked me how I am in return.

davoxx · 04-11-2010 02:59PM

not me personally, but a lot of us (yous) .. voting for a certain political parties again and again ... while ignoring the smell
(or not voting - in blind belief that a miracle will happen)

also buying mc donalds / burger king .. getting a crappy sized fries, not enough salad on the burger, sending it back and saying 'i'll never eat here again' .. cut to four weeks later ... 'i could really do with a burger ...'

thebigbiffo · 04-11-2010 03:12PM

liah wrote: »

The most common for me is getting up and walking to another room, absolutely determined to do something.. and then completely, totally forgetting what it was.

So I go and sit back down til I figure it out again, figure it out, get up, walk there.. and forget again.

Must look absolutely daft.

definitely the most common idiotic thing i do too...

are you also a chronic toker?

gent9662 · 04-11-2010 03:20PM

Trying to jam a 20 cent coin into the slot where a euro coin goes for my shopping trolley even though i know it doesn't work.

daveyboy_1ie · 04-11-2010 03:25PM

Constantly coming down to the kitchen with a heavy hangover and seeing the milk on the table, thats my cue to go to the fridge and retrieve my set of keys or sometimes my mobile phone, once even my wallet. Somehow the brain knows something goes back in the fridge, buts its pot luck what it decides to put in.

liah · 04-11-2010 03:25PM

thebigbiffo wrote: »

definitely the most common idiotic thing i do too...

are you also a chronic toker?

Yeah, but in fairness I also did it all the time in the many years I didn't smoke.

crazyderk · 04-11-2010 03:26PM

dclane wrote: »

Thanks for your input OUTPUT Neil.

I fixed it for ya!

:D:D:D:D

bladespin · 04-11-2010 03:27PM

clipping elbows off doorways - I'm not that big.

TerrorFirmer · 04-11-2010 03:29PM

Overheal wrote: »

Tried cooking a steak when i first went to college. Nothing was happening for 20 minutes so I decided to check if the burners were on... with my bare hands.

Friend of mine moved out of home for the first time a few years back. He was so used to his mother doing everything that he couldn't even operate the most elemental of things.

Day one: He tries to cook a pizza in the oven. Except he couldn't differentiate between oven/grill, and ends up putting a pizza under the grill with the door closed for over half an hour.

Result: Oven explodes, showering the kitchen in glass, with only a scorched, smoldering black disc remaining under the grill.....

donkey_kong · 04-11-2010 03:31PM

whenever I mislay something that I usually keep in my pockets eg keys, wallet, because I mentally equate them with my mobile, also a pocket dweller, I always get the house phone and ring my mobile number, expecting my keys/wallet to ring so I can follow the sound and find them.

Blazer · 04-11-2010 03:33PM

Paying VAT/PAYE/DIRT and every other bloody tax out there while I watch FF laugh at me :mad:

Lady von Purple · 04-11-2010 03:38PM

I always thought it was funny when my mother ran around the house looking for her glasses and they were on her head. Now that I've A) ran around my apartment looking for my glasses while actually wearing them and

thought I'd lost my phone while I was actually talking to someone on it, I feel bad for laughing. Karma. Bitch.

citizen_p · 04-11-2010 03:50PM

walk into the a kitchen and forget what i was looking for

Things you do occasionally that make you feel like a right idiot.

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