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Guinness not agreeing with my stomach

  • 22-10-2010 12:01PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267
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    So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

    Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me :(

    Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,039 bazmaiden
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    game over man


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 kfallon
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    So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

    Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me :(

    Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

    Go and have a shiite......obviously :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,696 trad
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    Wouldn't have been the doner kabab and curry chips you had on the way home?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,941 thebigbiffo
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    lock yourself in the broom cupboard, there is no cure. guinness has made you an outcast, it's time to accept that you smell like a cattle shed and your workmates want you gone. do what they want.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 stovelid
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    The Guinness isn't interfering. It's the number of them. :pac:

    Unfortunately there is no way around it:



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,828 phill106
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    1. Find a weather ballon.
    2. Attach to anus securely.
    3. Fill up with gas.
    4. Save the gas for one colleague you do not like and release it into elevator with him as the door closes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267 rorymcgrory
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    I'll go for a plop when i have to. No pudding brewing in my bum yet.

    No didnt have food on way home. Cant even face food today. In a complete jock.

    Is there no way to stop guffing at such a high frequency?

    It's getting hard to breath in here :( The farts are so intense I'm beginning to feel sick


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,822 iPlop
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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,533 Donkey Oaty
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    Some people recommend peppermint tea. Might be worth a go.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 liah
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    Protip: Don't drink Guinness.

    Problem solved.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 petes
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    8 pints ...pffft


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 seamus
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    Something wrong with your arse? Hold it in ye smelly....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267 rorymcgrory
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    THese farts are so hot. I'm going for the cure at lunchtime and I'm not drinking guinness!!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 kfallon
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    THese farts are so hot. I'm going for the cure at lunchtime and I'm not drinking guinness!!!!

    You are defo gonna pebbledash the bowl when you eventually go to 'free Nelson Mandela'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 267 rorymcgrory
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    I hope so. I'm getting excited


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 Bonito
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    liah wrote: »
    Protip: Don't drink Guinness if you're a girl.

    Problem solved.

    :p

    If ya can't handle guinness, drink beamish.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 Pyr0
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    Try squeeze a few mints up yer hole, you'll be puffing freshness in no time!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,728 dilallio
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    Bord Gáis has a dedicated 24-hour Emergency Response Service

    If you smell gas please call one of the following numbers:
    • Customers in the Republic of Ireland should call 1850 20 50 50


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 the purple tin
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    Justin Timberlake has serious problems with farting.
    He always puts charcoal tablets on his concert riders. You could try some of those.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 Mint Sauce
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    there will be alot of kids to drop of at the pool later OP

    ;)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 gurramok
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    So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

    Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me :(

    Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

    From past experience I calculate your bowels will move twice, usually within an hour of the first one and you will use a sh1tload of bog roll.

    Too much of anything is bad for you! Then again Guinness is supposed to be good for you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 Son Of A Vidic
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    OP - if your a regular Guinness drinker? Then your symptoms should not come as a surprise. Ya can't beat it for a good clear out. I always notice the bomb bay doors opening a lot more frequently after a good Guinness session. Celebrate it, don't fight it! Christ use the chance to drop some wondrous gas bombs around people you mightn't particularly like.
    So there's nothing wrong with your stomach, it's just the joy and benefits Guinness brings to you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,137 youcancallmeal
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    AH Response: A bit late now but for next time say to your colleagues "Oh my god what is that smell, the sewerage pipe must of burst again. This happened a couple of years ago and we had to get an engineer in to fix it. I'll call him and ask him to come in over the weekend". This way the blame is off you and you can let it rip all day long. Come Monday morning there will be no more smell so everyone thinks the engineer fixed it. Thats presuming you don't go out on Sunday night and have another rake load of Guinness!

    Serious Response: I find rennie helps sometimes


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 admiralofthefleet
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    do what i do: have an indian after a belly full of guinness, not 6


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 flanum
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    go for a ****e,,, your a durty fecker!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,234 scotchy
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    flanum wrote: »
    go for a ****e,,, your a durty fecker!!!

    Thanks for that.

    But after nearly two months Lets hope the problem has been sorted by now.

    :rolleyes:

    :):)

    .

    💙 💛 💙 💛 💙 💛



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 Oh_Noes
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    do what i do: have an indian after a belly full of guinness, not 6

    I second this. If you're going to do the guinness thing then it should be complimented with a good chicken madras. May as well go the whole hog. Take pride in the pungency of your flatulence!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 orourkeda
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    So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

    Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me :(

    Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

    A huge dump will clear the pipes


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 TeddyTedson
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    I'll go for a plop when i have to. No pudding brewing in my bum yet.

    No didnt have food on way home. Cant even face food today. In a complete jock.

    Is there no way to stop guffing at such a high frequency?

    It's getting hard to breath in here :( The farts are so intense I'm beginning to feel sick
    Do you not like the smell of your own though??
    A thread this epic deserves more replies.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,199 furiousox
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    Probably "a bad pint"

    CPL 593H



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