Guinness not agreeing with my stomach

rorymcgrory

So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me

Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

bazmaiden

game over man

kfallon

rorymcgrory wrote: »

So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me

Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

Go and have a shiite......obviously :rolleyes:

trad

Wouldn't have been the doner kabab and curry chips you had on the way home?

thebigbiffo

lock yourself in the broom cupboard, there is no cure. guinness has made you an outcast, it's time to accept that you smell like a cattle shed and your workmates want you gone. do what they want.

stovelid

The Guinness isn't interfering. It's the number of them. :pac:

Unfortunately there is no way around it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRlj5vjp3Ko

phill106

1. Find a weather ballon.
2. Attach to anus securely.
3. Fill up with gas.
4. Save the gas for one colleague you do not like and release it into elevator with him as the door closes.

rorymcgrory

I'll go for a plop when i have to. No pudding brewing in my bum yet.

No didnt have food on way home. Cant even face food today. In a complete jock.

Is there no way to stop guffing at such a high frequency?

It's getting hard to breath in here The farts are so intense I'm beginning to feel sick

iPlop

This is what you need

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIZU_NZRfjA

Donkey Oaty

Some people recommend peppermint tea. Might be worth a go.

liah

Protip: Don't drink Guinness.

Problem solved.

petes

8 pints ...pffft

seamus

Something wrong with your arse? Hold it in ye smelly....

rorymcgrory

THese farts are so hot. I'm going for the cure at lunchtime and I'm not drinking guinness!!!!

kfallon

rorymcgrory wrote: »

THese farts are so hot. I'm going for the cure at lunchtime and I'm not drinking guinness!!!!

You are defo gonna pebbledash the bowl when you eventually go to 'free Nelson Mandela'

rorymcgrory

I hope so. I'm getting excited

Bonito

liah wrote: »

Protip: Don't drink Guinness if you're a girl.

Problem solved.

If ya can't handle guinness, drink beamish.

Pyr0

Try squeeze a few mints up yer hole, you'll be puffing freshness in no time!

dilallio

Bord Gáis has a dedicated 24-hour Emergency Response Service

If you smell gas please call one of the following numbers:

• Customers in the Republic of Ireland should call 1850 20 50 50

the purple tin

Justin Timberlake has serious problems with farting.
He always puts charcoal tablets on his concert riders. You could try some of those.

Mint Sauce

there will be alot of kids to drop of at the pool later OP

gurramok

rorymcgrory wrote: »

So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me

Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

From past experience I calculate your bowels will move twice, usually within an hour of the first one and you will use a sh1tload of bog roll.

Too much of anything is bad for you! Then again Guinness is supposed to be good for you!

Son Of A Vidic

OP - if your a regular Guinness drinker? Then your symptoms should not come as a surprise. Ya can't beat it for a good clear out. I always notice the bomb bay doors opening a lot more frequently after a good Guinness session. Celebrate it, don't fight it! Christ use the chance to drop some wondrous gas bombs around people you mightn't particularly like.
So there's nothing wrong with your stomach, it's just the joy and benefits Guinness brings to you.

youcancallmeal

AH Response: A bit late now but for next time say to your colleagues "Oh my god what is that smell, the sewerage pipe must of burst again. This happened a couple of years ago and we had to get an engineer in to fix it. I'll call him and ask him to come in over the weekend". This way the blame is off you and you can let it rip all day long. Come Monday morning there will be no more smell so everyone thinks the engineer fixed it. Thats presuming you don't go out on Sunday night and have another rake load of Guinness!

Serious Response: I find rennie helps sometimes

admiralofthefleet

do what i do: have an indian after a belly full of guinness, not 6

flanum

go for a ****e,,, your a durty fecker!!!

scotchy

flanum wrote: »

go for a ****e,,, your a durty fecker!!!

Thanks for that.

But after nearly two months Lets hope the problem has been sorted by now.

:rolleyes:

:)

.

Oh_Noes

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

do what i do: have an indian after a belly full of guinness, not 6

I second this. If you're going to do the guinness thing then it should be complimented with a good chicken madras. May as well go the whole hog. Take pride in the pungency of your flatulence!

orourkeda

rorymcgrory wrote: »

So here I am at work on Friday. Had about 8 pints of guinness last night and I'm farting at 30 second intervals since 8am.

Office smells like a sewer and everyones got to know its me

Does anyone know a cure to stop farting all day?

A huge dump will clear the pipes

TeddyTedson

rorymcgrory wrote: »

I'll go for a plop when i have to. No pudding brewing in my bum yet.

No didnt have food on way home. Cant even face food today. In a complete jock.

Is there no way to stop guffing at such a high frequency?

It's getting hard to breath in here The farts are so intense I'm beginning to feel sick

Do you not like the smell of your own though??
A thread this epic deserves more replies.

furiousox

Probably "a bad pint"

A.Blinkin

http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/us-underwear-manufacturer-has-patented-pants-designed-to-mask-the-smell-of

Not only are they practical but sexy as hell...

TeddyTedson

A.Blinkin wrote: »

http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/us-underwear-manufacturer-has-patented-pants-designed-to-mask-the-smell-of

Not only are they practical but sexy as hell...

lol, imagine the smell though when you take them off after an eventful day.