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Sex before Marriage

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Comments

  • #212
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    Is this from your own extensive experience of waiting until marriage then yeah?
    Nope, it's from my extensive experience of having sex.


  • #213
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    Practice, practice! ;)
    And how do you do that if your partner isn't as open minded?


  • #214
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Nope, it's from my extensive experience of having sex.

    Ooo'er ouch. So you've never done it and yet here you are saying it couldn't possibly work.
    steve06 wrote: »
    And how do you do that if your partner isn't as open minded?

    You find out before hand and you discuss these things. Fairly simple concept. Perhaps you have difficulty understanding compromise.


  • #215
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    Ooo'er ouch. So you've never done it and yet here you are saying it couldn't possibly work.

    Erm, I don't know if you realise this, but waiting the hours/days/weeks/months to have sex in a relationship is exactly the same as waiting x amount of time until after marriage. The only difference is the marriage part.
    prinz wrote: »
    You find out before hand and you discuss these things. Fairly simple concept. Perhaps you have difficulty understanding compromise.

    Like I mentioned before, just because the thought of an act will turn you on, doesn't mean the act itself will.

    Are you a virgin? Because this will explain your lack of understanding on the subject.


  • #216
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    You find out before hand and you discuss these things. Fairly simple concept. Perhaps you have difficulty understanding compromise.
    fantasy vs reality... it's quite different. And if you had any experience you'd understand that compromise doesn't exactly keep people happy because it's not what you want at the end of the day.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Are you a virgin? Because this will explain your lack of understanding on the subject.
    I'g thinking the same considering your comments towards those who are older and have more experience.


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  • #217
    helen.ryan3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭helen.ryan3


    sex before marriage is fine in my eyes dont think anyone should be looked down on for it i have a child and iam with my man 9 years and marriage is the last thing on my mind :)


  • #218
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Erm, I don't know if you realise this, but waiting the hours/days/weeks/months to have sex in a relationship is exactly the same as waiting x amount of time until after marriage. The only difference is the marriage part..

    Well, that and discussing sex before you jump into bed, right? Have you done that?
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Like I mentioned before, just because the thought of an act will turn you on, doesn't mean the act itself will.

    ...and? I think I mentioned compromise on more than one occassion so far.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Are you a virgin? Because this will explain your lack of understanding on the subject.

    I'm a married man. I'd say I have more of an understanding of the subject than you do tbh, having experienced both sides of this fence.
    steve06 wrote: »
    fantasy vs reality... it's quite different. And if you had any experience you'd understand that compromise doesn't exactly keep people happy because it's not what you want at the end of the day..

    :pac: LOL at the insinuation of the lack of experience. Says the man who claimed a woman gets no pleasure out of sex if she doesn't orgasm. Forgive me if I find that attitude informed by porn and your aforementioned fantasy.
    steve06 wrote: »
    I'g thinking the same considering your comments towards those who are older and have more experience.

    You have no idea what experience I have. Age does not guarantee experience. Childish assumptions etc.


  • #219
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    Thread needs poll, just to illustrate the landslide victory in favour of pre-marital Sexy time.


  • #220
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    Well, that and discussing sex before you jump into bed, right? Have you done that?

    Of course.
    prinz wrote: »
    ...and? I think I mentioned compromise on more than one occassion so far.

    Compromise isn't always a solution. What then?
    prinz wrote: »
    I'm a married man. I'd say I have more of an understanding of the subject than you do tbh, having experienced both sides of this fence.

    Why does a marriage cert provide you with more understanding? What have you experienced that I haven't solely because I'm not married?


  • #221
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    :pac: LOL at the insinuation of the lack of experience. Says the man who claimed a woman gets no pleasure out of sex if she doesn't orgasm. Forgive me if I find that attitude informed by porn and your aforementioned fantasy.
    Actually I said it can't be much fun for a woman if she doesn't orgasm, I would assume this is true considering their left lying there unfulfilled. And no, my attitude is not informed by porn or fantasy. However I think your attitude is deluded and based on a fantasy of idealism.
    prinz wrote: »
    You have no idea what experience I have. Age does not guarantee experience. Childish assumptions etc.
    No age doesn't guarantee experience, but experience guarantees experience. You've slept with 1 person, congratulations on your bucket loads of experience!


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  • #222
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    well holy god what have I done?! :eek:


  • #223
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Of course.

    ...did it teach you anything? Did you learn anything from it? You were the one who said it wouldn't mean anything until you actually got in the sack.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Compromise isn't always a solution. What then?

    Depends on the people involved, but you should know that before you get married to someone so it's a moot point when it comes to waiting until marriage.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Why does a marriage cert provide you with more understanding? What have you experienced that I haven't solely because I'm not married?

    ..because I had sexual relationships before I met my now wife. My wife who wanted to wait until marriage before we had sex. So I have seen both sides to this.
    steve06 wrote: »
    Actually I said it can't be much fun for a woman if she doesn't orgasm, I would assume this is true considering their left lying there unfulfilled. And no, my attitude is not informed by porn or fantasy. However I think your attitude is deluded and based on a fantasy of idealism.

    Actually it can be a lot of fun, ever actually discussed that with a woman?
    steve06 wrote: »
    No age doesn't guarantee experience, but experience guarantees experience. You've slept with 1 person, congratulations on your bucket loads of experience!

    Again with the assumptions.:rolleyes: Perhaps you should check things out before you try marking smart remarks.


  • #224
    Novella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    steve06 wrote: »
    Actually I said it can't be much fun for a woman if she doesn't orgasm, I would assume this is true considering their left lying there unfulfilled. And no, my attitude is not informed by porn or fantasy. However I think your attitude is deluded and based on a fantasy of idealism.

    Loads of women actually have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner. It doesn't mean that they are left lying unfulfilled. It has happened to me pretty often, and I'm sure it has happened to many other women too. Sex isn't always just about the orgasm and while it would be nice to have one every time, it doesn't always happen and that's okay. Sometimes it's nice just to have shared in the bonding experience that is sex.


  • #225
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    ...did it teach you anything? Did you learn anything from it? You were the one who said it wouldn't mean anything until you actually got in the sack.

    Yeah, it taught me that talking is talking, and sex is sex. Two different things.
    prinz wrote: »
    Depends on the people involved, but you should know that before you get married to someone so it's a moot point when it comes to waiting until marriage.

    How should you know? Talking about sex doesn't guarantee that you'll both be sexually compatible. So I'll ask you again, what if compromise isn't a solution, what then?
    prinz wrote: »
    ..because I had sexual relationships before I met my now wife. My wife who wanted to wait until marriage before we had sex. So I have seen both sides to this.

    I've had the exact same experience. You see, there's always a waiting time for sex, you just got married during yours. Other than that there's no difference what so ever.


  • #226
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    Actually it can be a lot of fun, ever actually discussed that with a woman?
    Yes I have, generally they like to cum!
    prinz wrote: »
    Again with the assumptions.:rolleyes: Perhaps you should check things out before you try marking smart remarks.
    Well perhaps you should make it clear about where you're coming from on the subject. And because you have experienced a sexual relationship, but then waited until you got married before sleeping with your wife, it doesn't make your view or opinions any stronger then anyone else in this thread.

    Novella wrote: »
    Loads of women actually have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner. It doesn't mean that they are left lying unfulfilled. It has happened to me pretty often, and I'm sure it has happened to many other women too. Sex isn't always just about the orgasm and while it would be nice to have one every time, it doesn't always happen and that's okay. Sometimes it's nice just to have shared in the bonding experience that is sex.
    Ok, I'll say less fulfilled then.


  • #227
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Yeah, it taught me that talking is talking, and sex is sex. Two different things..

    ...surgery is surgery and lectures are lectures, but surgeons will still sit through lectures and discussion groups etc.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    How should you know? Talking about sex doesn't guarantee that you'll both be sexually compatible. So I'll ask you again, what if compromise isn't a solution, what then?

    It doesn't but it should give you a pretty good idea if you are or not, so it brings me back to the point that it is a baseless argument; the 'what if you get married and suddenly find you're not compatible'. You shouldn't be getting married if you don't have a pretty good idea that both are sexually compatible with each other.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    I've had the exact same experience. You see, there's always a waiting time for sex, you just got married during yours. Other than that there's no difference what so ever.

    I'd hazard a guess that there was a marked difference in the length of waiting time and the amount of discussion and debate.


  • #228
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    steve06 wrote: »
    Yes I have, generally they like to cum!

    I think Novella covered that one.
    steve06 wrote: »
    Well perhaps you should make it clear about where you're coming from on the subject. And because you have experienced a sexual relationship, but then waited until you got married before sleeping with your wife, it doesn't make your view or opinions any stronger then anyone else in this thread..

    Well funnily enough you were questioning my experience and presuming I was a virgin not long ago, with the direct implication that my views and opinions wouldn't be worth as much if that were the case. Interesting turn around there I must say.


  • #229
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    prinz wrote: »
    ...surgery is surgery and lectures are lectures, but surgeons will still sit through lectures and discussion groups etc.

    And they could still be shít in bed.
    prinz wrote: »
    It doesn't but it should give you a pretty good idea if you are or not, so it brings me back to the point that it is a baseless argument; the 'what if you get married and suddenly find you're not compatible'. You shouldn't be getting married if you don't have a pretty good idea that both are sexually compatible with each other.

    What b/s, in the one paragraph you've stated that talking doesn't guarantee that you'll be sexually compatible and then said that you shouldn't be getting married unless you have a ''pretty good idea'' that you are. Well what about the people who do have a pretty good idea but find out in fact that they are NOT? So I will ask you AGAIN, and i'll appreciate it if you give me a straight answer. What if compromise isn't an option?
    prinz wrote: »
    I'd hazard a guess that there was a marked difference in the length of waiting time and the amount of discussion and debate.

    Oh I see, so the longer you wait and the more you talk about it, the more compatible you'll be?

    You're talking absolute nonsense.


  • #230
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    I am creating a seperate poll for this thread maybe the mods might merge it for me please!? thanks! :cool:


  • #231
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    I am two minds about it myself yet! :o


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  • #232
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    prinz wrote: »
    I think Novella covered that one.
    She also did say "it would be nice to have one every time".

    The thing about it is that I completely separate sex from love, so to me there's pretty much f#ck all "bonding experience that is sex".
    prinz wrote: »
    Well funnily enough you were questioning my experience and presuming I was a virgin not long ago, with the direct implication that my views and opinions wouldn't be worth as much if that were the case. Interesting turn around there I must say.
    If that were the case, then they wouldn't be worth anything. Even still they're not worth much to me, but that's the nature of opinions.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    What if compromise isn't an option?
    I'm of the opinion that compromise shouldn't be an option, it means settling for less than you want. Why do that?


  • #233
    Banned Account
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    If the above poll is anything like your OH's pole - you'll have the decision made for you;)

    I'm for it.


  • #234
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    In before merge.


  • #235
    Lando Griffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    Why cant we poll yet?


  • #236
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Poll fail :P


  • #237
    mojesius
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭mojesius


    I want a poll.


  • #238
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    mojesius wrote: »
    I want a poll.

    Wait til yore hitched!!! :eek:


  • #239
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    What b/s, in the one paragraph you've stated that talking doesn't guarantee that you'll be sexually compatible and then said that you shouldn't be getting married unless you have a ''pretty good idea'' that you are..

    It cannot guarantee every sexual practice, position, etc etc etc. but it can cover 99.9% of things. Anything that you haven't discussed shouldn't be a big enough issue for the marriage to come a-cropper over tbh.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Well what about the people who do have a pretty good idea but find out in fact that they are NOT?

    Well then they reallly didn't have a pretty good idea, did they?
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    So I will ask you AGAIN, and i'll appreciate it if you give me a straight answer. What if compromise isn't an option?

    You can always break up if you value whatever act/position etc you want more than the person you are in the relationship with. Then again when it comes to a married couple I don't think something like that should even come to that stage tbh, or else the parties involved didn't prepare themselves properly for marriage.
    MagicMarker wrote: »
    Oh I see, so the longer you wait and the more you talk about it, the more compatible you'll be? You're talking absolute nonsense.

    In effect yes. The more you discuss, the more ground you cover, the more hypotheticals you can discuss etc means less chance of a serious problem later on in a relationship when it comes to something like this. Basic, basic.


  • #240
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,373 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    This is the most retarded argument I've ever seen. If two people, who waited until after they were married to have sex, are still a happy couple after marriage, then it's idiotic to say that they are 'incompatible' with each other.

    If two people bang each other senseless every night until they get married, and remain happy after marriage then it's idiotic to say that they would have been better off waiting.

    It's about a personal choice between two people at the end of day.. not really something that can be argued over by applying your own experiences to it


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  • #241
    wobbles-grogan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 558 ✭✭✭wobbles-grogan


    I voted yes.

    Oh wait, We cant vote....


This discussion has been closed.
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