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Sex before Marriage

24567…16

Comments

  • #32
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,194 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    Men who never have sex shouldn't be telling other people when to have sex.


  • #33
    Brendog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,976 ✭✭✭Brendog


    Hazys wrote: »
    I'm shocked that this is a serious question in modern Ireland.







    Its hardly serious.......it was posted in After Hours


  • #34
    Velocitee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Velocitee


    gbee wrote: »

    Today the girl is over thirty but has three children and been with BF for 12 or more years already. A lifetime already and only a sanctimonious difference ~ might as well have had your Cinderella Wedding, when you were young and beautiful.

    .
    .
    .
    .

    If you've been with the guy for more than a year, it's time to get married and enjoy the adventure. If you've had several children already, and been with your BF over ten years ~ DON'T waste time and money, stay living together.

    I'd agree with this too, tbh I think 12 years of it not on the cards is a bit ridiculous (albeit for financial reasons,) which leads me on to my next point -

    Weddings are TOO expensive!!!! I know in my case OH wants the Cinderella wedding (let's be honest it's her day) - that leaves an outlay of at least 15 to 25 grand - we'll be saving for that for a while, maybe take a small loan and that's AFTER I've saved and gotten her dream engagement ring (3 grand should cover that.).

    Then if you were to buy a house after, deposit for that...

    We are 'living in sin' but that's only due to the fact to go down the traditional route, we'd be waiting years!!! (no kids btw, planned for AFTER marriage, touch wood.)


  • #35
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    ireland is kinda prudish in comparison to other countries like holland, england, some european countries. What I love about holland is that the culture and people are so open minded in comparision to some irish folk! obviously people don't believe in sex before marriage due to religious reasons which is not really much a of a valid reason unless you are fridgit or you are in the holy order!
    Well some religions forbid sex before marriage, so it's only in compliance with that - I wouldn't say it makes the person a frigid.
    I also wouldn't agree Ireland is more prudish, just perhaps more sexually immature - it's all bawdiness and innuendos and seaside postcard humour here, whereas e.g. in Sweden it's something to be grown-up about. I dunno... I kinda prefer the bawdy Irish/British take... :o:pac:
    El Horseboxo wrote: »
    The some people i'm talking about are the types who would call me a man whore over a one night stand. Or a girl a slut. It's more than just personal preference when you become vocal about it.
    Oh yeah, to some, sex is more of a recreational thing, and that's also just personal preference and not something to be criticised. :)


  • #36
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Brendog wrote: »
    Its hardly serious.......it was posted in After Hours
    Yeah, we're all just mindless fúckwitts in here and love taking the piss and talking shíte in absolutely every single thread. Sure it's the only way to do things round here.

    We're not capable of serious discussion. It's frowned upon. Take your high IQ's and sensible opinions and arguments elsewhere thank you very much, we don't want it here. None of that jazz for us, boyo.


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  • #37
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    gbee wrote: »
    The age girls get married today is frankly ridiculous.
    What's ridiculous about it?
    Today the girl is over thirty but has three children and been with BF for 12 or more years already. A lifetime already and only a sanctimonious difference ~ might as well have had your Cinderella Wedding, when you were young and beautiful.
    Lol - obviously you're just a kid if you think a woman can't be beautiful at 30.
    If you've been with the guy for more than a year, it's time to get married and enjoy the adventure.
    It is?
    If you've had several children already, and been with your BF over ten years ~ DON'T waste time and money, stay living together.
    Why do you give a sh1t? And surely it depends on the individual couple rather than a bunch of rules you personally feel should be ascribed to all?
    Velocitee wrote: »
    Weddings are TOO expensive!!!!
    Depends on the type of wedding you have.
    I know in my case OH wants the Cinderella wedding (let's be honest it's her day)
    I'd have thought it's both your day?


  • #38
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:


  • #39
    The Big Red Button
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    Fizman wrote: »
    There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:

    See I don't see why his family's beliefs should have anything to do with his sex life! Surely they shouldn't even know what he is/isn't up to ... if he tells them, that's just creepy!


  • #40
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    My cousin who's a fairly devout catholic was with her boyfriend nearly eight years before they got married - she didn't manage to hold out til their wedding night, but the lad was waiting a long, long, long time... :pac:


  • #41
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    One of my friends has a new GF. They're having sex but when it comes to night time she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If she's staying in his she'll insist on a mattress on his bedroom floor. It ends up with him on the floor and her in his bed.

    The mind boggles.


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  • #42
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Fizman wrote: »
    There's a lad I know who is around my age (27) and he is getting married at xmas. He has never had sex with his GF, and they are going out over 3 years! I'm pretty sure he is also a virgin. Strong family beliefs and all that lark! :eek:

    really!...ya if you come from a family that have strong beliefs of no sex before marriage that is likely to be drilled into them!


  • #43
    Matias Uptight Quintessence
    Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Matias Uptight Quintessence


    Think the idea of it is ridiculous. Probably places too much pressure on a couple to marry as well


  • #44
    Velocitee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Velocitee


    Dudess wrote: »
    Depends on the type of wedding you have.
    I should have clarified - I meant a traditional 'oirish' white wedding + reception is too expensive.
    Dudess wrote: »
    I'd have thought it's both your day?

    Me too but 90% of it revolves around the bride and what she wants. That's just the way it is (and equality or no equality, and regardless of what you or I think, that's just the way it is.)


  • #45
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Bonito wrote: »
    One of my friends has a new GF. They're having sex but when it comes to night time she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If she's staying in his she'll insist on a mattress on his bedroom floor. It ends up with him on the floor and her in his bed.

    The mind boggles.
    Is that arrangement maybe just for post-coital sleeping though?


  • #46
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    really!...yaif you come from a family that have strong beliefs of no sex before marriage that is likely to be drilled into them!
    Selective reading FTW.


  • #47
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Velocitee wrote: »
    Me too but 90% of it revolves around the bride and what she wants. That's just the way it is (and equality or no equality, and regardless of what you or I think, that's just the way it is.)
    I disagree - not having a go at you, but I think letting a wedding revolve around the woman is a choice the couple (or one of them) makes, not simply the way it is.


  • #48
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Dudess wrote: »
    Is that arrangement maybe just for post-coital sleeping though?
    That's pretty much it. They're still in that "Honeymoon stage" in their relationship. They'll see each other 3 or 4 times a week and they'll have sex once or twice a day and then when it comes to the weekend and if she's staying over she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If they have sex before they go to sleep then one of them gets out of the bed and on to the floor and they sleep seperately.


  • #49
    Matias Uptight Quintessence
    Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Matias Uptight Quintessence


    Bonito wrote: »
    That's pretty much it. They're still in that "Honeymoon stage" in their relationship. They'll see each other 3 or 4 times a week and they'll have sex once or twice a day and then when it comes to the weekend and if she's staying over she wont sleep in the same bed as him. If they have sex before they go to sleep then one of them gets out of the bed and on to the floor and they sleep seperately.

    Some people just can't share, too warm or need to stretch or whatever :)


  • #50
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Some people just can't share, too warm or need to stretch or whatever :)
    That's just mean! :mad: If you're too warm then nekkid spoons and no blankies FTW!


  • #51
    genericguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭genericguy


    Bonito wrote: »
    That's just mean! :mad: If you're too warm then nekkid spoons and no blankies FTW!

    or just stay awake and have more secks!

    i'd love that, "right, no cuddling bollox, i'm off to me own bed". Niiiice.


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  • #52
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    whats wrong with cuddling tis nice shows affection without much else!


  • #53
    Mrmoe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,216 ✭✭✭Mrmoe


    It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think each couple would have to decide about what is best for them. It is definitely not for everyone. I would guess the vast majority of couples would have had sex before/if they got married. Anal& oral don't count right?:D


  • #54
    beauty101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 424 ✭✭beauty101


    how can u not have sex before marriage?!? thats crazy talk!


  • #55
    Velocitee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Velocitee


    Dudess wrote: »
    I disagree - not having a go at you, but I think letting a wedding revolve around the woman is a choice the couple (or one of them) makes, not simply the way it is.

    In my girlfriend's case (and every other woman I've talked to about this.), they have their wedding planned since they were little girls. The details get updated as they go along but they generally have an idea of what it will be like, flowers, dress, type of reception etc.

    This of course is my own experience, and I'm sure there are exceptions to the above but how many girls really say they haven't thought about it? I've never thought about my wedding (as I personally find that boring).

    I'm sure there are areas I will overrule my OH on when it comes to our wedding - cost related etc but she will get the bulk of what she wants as I wouldn't enter into a lifetime being married denying her what she's wanted for years. I love her so I will make sure she's happy with it,

    Personally I couldn't care if we got married in a registry office so, as you put it, it is my choice to go along with her, I would be fairly certain, the bulk of couples are in the same situation.


  • #56
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Velocitee wrote: »
    In my girlfriend's case (and every other woman I've talked to about this.), they have their wedding planned since they were little girls. The details get updated as they go along but they generally have an idea of what it will be like, flowers, dress, type of reception etc.

    This of course is my own experience, and I'm sure there are exceptions to the above but how many girls really say they haven't thought about it? I've never thought about my wedding (as I personally find that boring).

    I'm sure there are areas I will overrule my OH on when it comes to our wedding - cost related etc but she will get the bulk of what she wants as I wouldn't enter into a lifetime being married denying her what she's wanted for years. I love her so I will make sure she's happy with it,

    Personally I couldn't care if we got married in a registry office so, as you put it, it is my choice to go along with her, I would be fairly certain, the bulk of couples are in the same situation.
    Long story short. You didn't plan on getting married when you were young but now that you're older you've decided "Meh, fúck it, time to settle down I suppose and have a couple sprogs."

    It's not the day that counts, it's the person beside you that does.


  • #57
    genericguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭genericguy


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    whats wrong with cuddling tis nice shows affection without much else!

    *condescending snigger*


  • #58
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,017 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Velocitee wrote: »
    but 90% of it revolves around the bride's mother and what she wants.

    FYP !


  • #59
    yungwan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 765 ✭✭✭yungwan


    yes i think think the days of no sex before marraige are long gone!

    Its for a number of reasons I suppose:

    Sex is everywhere! Ads, music videos, films, everywhere - so it has become glamorised in young peoples minds i guess as a path to "grownup-ness"! So people start having sex earlier and earlier.

    Women are more able to admit they desire and enjoy sex. I think in times gone past it was seen as something men wanted more than women. Nowadays women are just as into sex as men, and see nothing wrong with initiating it or in single peoples case, actively seeking someone to shag on a night out.

    Contraception is now readily available - pre 80s there was no way to control pregnancy so if you wanted to have sex without worrying you had to get married. Sure many marraiges took place with the bun already very much in the oven but had to be done for fear of what the neighbours would think.

    I think its great that people are more liberated about sex. Its something to be enjoyed as well as bringing you closer to your partner.

    I DO however think that it does actually delay people getting married. As someone in a long term relationship myself, I do think that if couples didnt have sex they would be more inclined to get married earlier as they wouldnt want to wait so long. There is something to the old saying "If you give him the milk for free he wont buy the cow"" hahaha


  • #60
    up for anything
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,791 ✭✭✭up for anything


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    ah maybe your right there! but ireland is kinda prudish in comparison to other countries like holland, england, some european countries. What I love about holland is that the culture and people are so open minded in comparision to some irish folk! obviously people don't believe in sex before marriage due to religious reasons which is not really much a of a valid reason unless you are fridgit or you are in the holy order! I am utterly surprised that priests and nuns cannot marry in this day in age!

    Frigid not fridgit!

    I think your cryogenic facility must have had a power cut!


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  • #61
    Velocitee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Velocitee


    Bonito wrote: »
    Long story short. You didn't plan on getting married when you were young but now that you're older you've decided "Meh, fúck it, time to settle down I suppose and have a couple sprogs."

    It's not the day that counts, it's the person beside you that does.

    BINGO!:D


This discussion has been closed.
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