Wedding toast

brokensoul · 10-07-2010 01:37PM #1

Just canvassing opinions on this.

Neither my fiance or i drink, in fact we are both in recovery - though not everyone at our wedding will know that.

I have no difficulty with wine at every table for the meal, and a sparking wine reception when we arrive at the hotel but i draw the line at buying a round of drinks for the toast.

I just cant justify the expense of it, esp as we dont drink.

Our idea is that we will get the waitresses to top up wine glasses for the speeches and if people want pints or whatever they can but them from the bar.

Mt father in law is concerned that people will think it is very strange that they are not getting a choice of drinks for the toasts.

What do people think?

Ickle Magoo · 10-07-2010 01:49PM

Hi there

I don't think it's fair that just because neither of you can or will drink that you refuse to pay for drinks so people can toast you both. If you were both veggies, would you expect people to pay if they wanted meat on their plates?

I'm afraid I agree with your father-in-law, I would consider it very odd and with the potential to be confusing and very disruptive as guests have to work out they won't be getting the normal toasting drink, find their money, find the bar, chat en route and eventually find their way back to the tables as you wait to do speeches.

How did you plan on letting them know you would be breaking with convention? It might pass without a hitch with a small group who know in advance...

Toots · 10-07-2010 02:14PM

You could do a sparkling wine toast, it might work out cheaper than buying an open round.

toadfly · 10-07-2010 04:21PM

I didn't realise people bought a round for toasting, thought it was wine that was usually used. Was at a wedding in April, only wine given out. At one last month where they took a drinks order and we got it then after the meal so its not essential.

I dont think ye should not do it just because ye dont drink...if ye cant afford it thats a different thing altogether.

John Mason · 10-07-2010 05:24PM

any wedding i have been at recently (about 5-6) there wasnt a round of drinks bought for a toast, it was just the wine on table.

i dont see anything wrong with that.

so OP i think are right, and to hell with your FIL, its your wedding not his - you do what you want

Ickle Magoo · 10-07-2010 06:34PM

Yeah, definitely, as long as there is drink in glasses, I don't think it really matters what...

Cadyboo · 10-07-2010 09:16PM

They are getting free wine for their meal, I dont think they should expect a drink as well. I have been to weddings where their wasn't wine on tables, and the couple got a round instead.
I wouldnt worry about it, go with the topping up the wine for the speeches.

Lynfo · 10-07-2010 09:20PM

I've been to quite a few weddings over the last few years and only one had a toast drink.

I think it's perfectly acceptable (particularly in these times) not to have one, especially as you're providing wine.

newtoboards · 10-07-2010 09:37PM

Perfectly acceptable not to buy a round of drinks. Do what works for you guys and just ignore everyone else. I wouldn't go telling anyone any further plans as you leave yourself open to criticism otherwise

Beruthiel · 12-07-2010 08:50AM

I won't be doing any speechs or toasts.
Tell your father in law that this is your wedding and you'll be running it your way.
What is with people and having to do things the exact same why as everyone else?!

genie_us · 12-07-2010 12:41PM

Hiya

I'm getting married in October and we're not doing the toast drinks, rather put the money into getting a better band or giving them nicer food.
Instead we're providing the wine throughout the meal for the guests.

Also - don't worry about what other people say you should or shouldn't do - it's your wedding! The people who matter won't care and the people who care won't matter

How Strange · 12-07-2010 12:52PM

Op, I think the wine on the table will suffice for the toast. A round of drinks would be quite expensive and IMO unnecessary.

The topic of providing wine at the meal and a toast drink has been debated ad nauseum on here but IMHO it's commendable of you and your OH to include alcohol for a reception and for the meal considering you're both recovering alcoholics. I remember reading some of your posts over on pi.

Good luck to you both and I hope you have a fab day!

brokensoul · 13-07-2010 11:37AM

How Strange wrote: »

Op, I think the wine on the table will suffice for the toast. A round of drinks would be quite expensive and IMO unnecessary.

The topic of providing wine at the meal and a toast drink has been debated ad nauseum on here but IMHO it's commendable of you and your OH to include alcohol for a reception and for the meal considering you're both recovering alcoholics. I remember reading some of your posts over on pi.

Good luck to you both and I hope you have a fab day!

Thanks, and thank you all for putting my mind at ease a bit.

HS - one day at a time, hopefully i will be three years sober the Sunday before my wedding - so much has happened over the last few years, it is just incredible.

Kimono-Girl · 13-07-2010 02:18PM

I don't drink alcohol anymore (by choice) and my OH doesn't drink champagne or wine,

for the drinks reception we have it organised that there will be four matching glasses with 7up in them instead (flowergirl will be 3 and 1 bridesmaid will be 16)

for the toast (a sparkling wine toast is included in our meal package) we are doing the same with the 7up, it looks simular enough anyways!

we will not be buying a round of drinks, if your father in law is that concerned politely tell him you have no problems if he wants to pay and organise a round of drinks for everyone there....

Wedding toast

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