Funniest thing your parents have said?

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 02:57PM #1

My mother is such a brilliant woman for stories, she has such a flair for words that she would keep you captivated when telling a story about the most trivial things. She is 65 years old, but likes to think she is well up to speed with everything going on. She learnt to use email a few months ago and is delighted, her phone that she learnt to use last year never leaves her side! All these things are great, and she definately does impress me often.
The thing is, there are times i will walk into a room and she will tell me the most ridiculous things just so she can appear to be completely up to date!

1. I have developed a fierce soft spot for Barack Obama.
2. Rings me one day to inform me that Jane Goody passed away.

3. Tells me one day that she loves 2Pac's "California Love" cause it has a happy feel to it.

So many more but will have to try to remember them!

Anyone have funny examples?

SoWatchaWant · 07-07-2010 03:00PM

"Apocalypto - is that that film about all those black bucks in the bush?"

My mother.

easyeason3 · 07-07-2010 03:02PM

We planned all our children

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 03:03PM

Just remembered one. She was driving through one of those long tunnels on the continent once. She had been complaining that her eyes were sore from hayfever that day. All of a sudden she screams "Lads I can't SEE!!!!!" We look at her in shock as she is driving along still, then my brother reminds he that she might want to take off the sunglasses!:D

Hasmunch · 07-07-2010 03:03PM

My father after watching The Weakest Link Special with drag queens for a good half an hour, he turns to my mother with a confused look on his face

"are they fellas?"

Bonavox · 07-07-2010 03:04PM

"There's prostitutes down the road! I swear, one of them came over and asked me if I was lookin!"

AnonoBoy · 07-07-2010 03:07PM

In Before Someone Links to that Sh*t My Dad Says blog.

NothingMan · 07-07-2010 03:11PM

"What's a blowjob?" Noone wanted to explain that one to my Mam.

Aglomerado · 07-07-2010 03:11PM

My dad was talking about painting the house one day and said "I need to get some of that Durex paint for the outside".

I'm still wondering if you can get rubber-based paint...

ROFL:D

ash23 · 07-07-2010 03:13PM

My aunts were giving my guff over still be on the shelf at my age (27) and my gran (nearly 80 and married since she was 16), turns and says

"leave the girl alone. (To me) You don't be in any hurry to get settled down. Being married isn't that great. I wish I'd sampled a few more men than your grandad but back in my day, I would have been called a slut. But now, you can have as many men as you want. Make sure and have your fun while you can".

To say I was surprised was an understatement. Especially as she is totally narrow minded and totally racist and homophobic.

She also thinks Enda Kenny is a fine looking man.

stovelid · 07-07-2010 03:16PM

Casually called hash mara-jo-ah-na in attempt to be 'down with the kids'.

LimeFruitGum · 07-07-2010 03:19PM

"So this eeeemail ting. I hear its fierce addictive, is it one of dem drugs?"

Bless her, mum thought email was a new type of Ecstasy.

Lando Griffin · 07-07-2010 03:20PM

I can never ring anyone on this fuc***king thing.
Dad embrasses technology with the TV remote.

Brendog · 07-07-2010 03:23PM

"Son, when I look at you, I think to myself 'EPICFAILZ!!1!!!111!!LOLZ!!"

phill106 · 07-07-2010 03:27PM

NothingMan wrote: »

"What's a blowjob?" Noone wanted to explain that one to my Mam.

Would have thought your dad would have piped up!

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 03:50PM

another one
On another holiday, we were driving over the swiss border, just to have a look. The border police stopped us, had a look at us and our passports and then asks "What is the purpose of your visit to switzerland?" very formally.
Mom could have said for a holiday or whatever, but she then starts explaining, "We are going for a picnic," and explains where she is planning on having it.:o

easyeason3 · 07-07-2010 03:52PM

rebel10 wrote: »

another one
On another holiday, we were driving over the swiss border, just to have a look. The border police stopped us, had a look at us and our passports and then asks "What is the purpose of your visit to switzerland?" very formally.
Mom could have said for a holiday or whatever, but she then starts explaining, "We are going for a picnic," and explains where she is planning on having it.:o

He he he he he he he.....:D

TheZohanS · 07-07-2010 03:54PM

Aglomerado wrote: »

My dad was talking about painting the house one day and said "I need to get some of that Durex paint for the outside".

I'm still wondering if you can get rubber-based paint...

ROFL:D

You can, liquid latex.

But it's mostly used on your body.

NothingMan · 07-07-2010 03:54PM

phill106 wrote: »

Would have thought your dad would have piped up!

My Dad left when I was 5

.

It's fun to make people feel bad.

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 03:55PM

easyeason3 wrote: »

He he he he he he he.....:D

another one
On another holiday, we were driving over the swiss border, just to have a look. The border police stopped us, had a look at us and our passports and then asks "What is the purpose of your visit to switzerland?" very formally.
Mom The auld one could have said for a holiday or whatever, but she then starts explaining, "We are going for a picnic," and explains where she is planning on having it:o

bambera · 07-07-2010 03:59PM

My mam once told everyone in work she was getting me a playboy for Christmas (she meant a play station)
She also use to call videos V.D.s

phill106 · 07-07-2010 04:01PM

phill106 wrote: »

Would have thought your dad would have piped up!

NothingMan wrote: »

My Dad left when I was 5 .

It's fun to make people feel bad.

And I am not coming back. You disappoint me son.
FAIL!

NothingMan · 07-07-2010 04:01PM

My Mam's first ever car was reg plate VHI XXX. While at the insurance broker quoted it as HIV.

"Are you sure?"

"Possitive."

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 04:02PM

NothingMan wrote: »

My Dad left when I was 5 .

It's fun to make people feel bad.

Sure there was no reason for her to know what a B.J. was so;)

I remember when we were younger we were glued to that series "Roots" on t.v. every saturday night before "Kenny Live", anyway we got to the part where one of Kunta Kinte's offspring gets lynched, my mother is all upset and tells us, (even though i was about 9 at the time) that if we wanted to bring home a black man she would have no problem!!!:o

Who knew that "Roots" could break down so many barriers and prejudices!!!

NothingMan · 07-07-2010 04:04PM

rebel10 wrote: »

my mother is all upset and tells us, (even though i was about 9 at the time) that if we wanted to bring home a black man she would have no problem!!!:o

You're a lady!!! :eek:

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 04:07PM

NothingMan wrote: »

You're a lady!!! :eek:

Oh no!!!!!!!:eek:
What made you think i was a man??

Vinta81 · 07-07-2010 04:13PM

rebel10 wrote: »

another one
On another holiday, we were driving over the swiss border, just to have a look. The border police stopped us, had a look at us and our passports and then asks "What is the purpose of your visit to switzerland?" very formally.
Mom could have said for a holiday or whatever, but she then starts explaining, "We are going for a picnic," and explains where she is planning on having it.:o

Sounds like my mum. She can't ever just give straight forward answers, has to give them the life story.

jordan.. · 07-07-2010 04:13PM

Me dad turned to me yesterday out of nowhere and goes " seriously, whats a tracker mortage "

I started laughing and replied " not a clue da "

good times

j1974 · 07-07-2010 04:17PM

rebel10 wrote: »

My mother is such a brilliant woman for stories, she has such a flair for words that she would keep you captivated when telling a story about the most trivial things. She is 65 years old, but likes to think she is well up to speed with everything going on. She learnt to use email a few months ago and is delighted, her phone that she learnt to use last year never leaves her side! All these things are great, and she definately does impress me often.
The thing is, there are times i will walk into a room and she will tell me the most ridiculous things just so she can appear to be completely up to date!

1. I have developed a fierce soft spot for Barack Obama.
2. Rings me one day to inform me that Jane Goody passed away.
3. Tells me one day that she loves 2Pac's "California Love" cause it has a happy feel to it.

So many more but will have to try to remember them!

Anyone have funny examples?

yeah, get out son, mommys gettin her fcuk on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

Superbus · 07-07-2010 04:21PM

rebel10 wrote: »

Oh no!!!!!!!:eek:
What made you think i was a man??

Everyone on the internet is a man until proven innocent.

rebel10 · 07-07-2010 04:21PM

j1974 wrote: »

yeah, get out son, mommys gettin her fcuk on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

Oh no!:eek:
I'm a girl lads.
I seem to have given off some kinda masculine vibe in my posts.

going to hide in a corner now and think of more ways to appear less butch to those on Boards:(

Funniest thing your parents have said?

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