Airsoft Doesn't Sleep (Off-topic MADNESS!!) Mod warning in post #1

just out of boredom and inspired from a post made during the week
:D:D

Quotes from the Iraqi Information Minister
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf
AKA: "Baghdad Bob", "Comical Ali", "M.S.S" etc..
I have found most of these quotes on cnn.com, bbc.com, foxnews.com, nytimes.com, globalresearch.ca,
centcom.mil, several different TV shows, and e-mails from visitors.
There is a lot of fabricated al-Sahhaf quotes/quotations out there, but I have checked these
and I can (almost) guarantee that they are the real deal.
Please mail me if you have any good Al-Sahhaf quotes.

"New" al-Sahhaf quotes:
please contact me if you have heard/found any new quotes
by the Iraqi Information Minister.

"He's my man, he was great"
"Somebody accused us of hiring him and putting him there. He was a classic."
- President George W Bush about al-Sahhaf, (interview on NBC)

Thursday 26 June, Al-Arabiya satellite network and Abu Dabi TV.

"The information was correct, but the interpretation was not,"
about his own words....

"The time is not yet ripe to say what happened. When history's ready, then we can talk about it,"
about the fall of Saddam's regime....

"authentic sources - many authentic sources"
about where his information came from....

"The military part of our information network - which we were accustomed to rely on for exact information - was the first part of the network to fall apart,"

"It did suffer and it became very weak, while the reporters from Iraqi radio and television stations were more active and had more accurate information."

"It was unworthy of our military sources that they were the first to weaken."

"a difficult situation, not for one individual, but for everybody"
about the war....

"Everyone could face something that hurts him. But I don't expect that I will be hurt,"
about the future....

"Old" Iraqi Information Minister quotes/quotations:

"We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp"
- Just after the Coalition started it's bombing campaign

"With respect to the situation in Al-Faw, the British told big lies. In Al-Faw, our forces' positions remained in place."

"These mercenaries and hirelings kidnapped civilians in the Al-Faw Peninsula so that they might claim that they captured Iraqi soldiers."

"We counted 19 missiles that landed in a small area of Baghdad."
(Coalition forces claimed that over 300 missiles and bombs hit Baghdad that night)

"I think that the Iraqi ground defenses shot down dozens of missiles. We are in the process of counting all these missiles quickly"

"These are not ordinary human beings. They are criminals. As a matter of fact, they are criminals, both by nature and by training. By nature, because they are not decent. They are criminals."
"Big institutions in this imperial state, in this evil US empire, prepare their politicians to become criminals."

"God willing, we will throw them into the sea."

"We will get them stuck in the mud and we will certainly defeat them."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf,
Al-Jazeera TV 22 March

"A small number of peasants - brave peasants - shot down two Apaches"
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 24 March

"During the battles last night and at dawn, they [ Ba'th Socialist Party fighters] had destroyed three American helicopters"

".....they had burnt and destroyed around 30 vehicles, including tanks and APC's and damaged three enemy helicopters. God bless the fighters of the Arab Socialist Ba'th Party."

"No one received them [the coalition forces] with roses.
They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf,
Al-Jazeera TV 25 March

"Up till now, they are only on dock No. 10, not in Umm Qasr, not in the city,"

"They want to deceive their people first because now they are in a very shabby situation,"

"It's a small town, it has only a few docks ... now they are in a trap."

"Iraqi forces are still in control of the city, and they are engaging in an attrition war with the enemy."
After the British Brig. Jim Dutton said that the southern port city of Umm Qasr, where a fierce battle between dug-in Iraqi forces and coalition fighters raged over the weekend, is in control of coalition forces.

"Americans are now in disarray"

"They try to engage the world as much as they can and we will continue until they leave our land."

"They are again in the dirt in the desert"

"They will try to enter Baghdad, and I think this is where their graveyard will be"
"Their objective is to get to the outskirts of Baghdad. So be it"
"We will see how the issue will turn out when they come to Baghdad."

"Iraq will spread them even more and chop them up."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 27 March

"How can you lay siege to a whole country? Who is really under siege now? Baghdad cannot be besieged."

"This boa, the American columns, are being besieged between Basra and other towns north, west, south and west of Basra. The Americans are the people who are under siege."

"The fact is that as soon as they reach Baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them."

"Until now they have refused to do battle with us. They are just going places."

"One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else."

"The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river."

"...over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."

"We want to tell him [Blair] that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured."- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf,
Abu Dhabi TV 2022 GMT, 27 March

"Let's go and do jihad"
"Whoever dies will be rewarded by heaven."

"Hit them. Fight them. They are cursed; they are evil"
"We will be victorious, and they will be defeated.

"The Iraqi troops and the Iraqi fighters are in control of all the places, as we have witnessed,
No big change in that. We are fighting against them."

"They are achieving nothing, they are suffering from casualties. Those casualties are increasing, not decreasing,"

"Fight them everywhere. Don't give them a chance to breathe until they withdraw and retreat."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 1 April.
In a statement on Iraqi TV

"They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion,"

"What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 2 April

"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps,"
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people,
I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
The Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf said that coalition forces were throwing booby traps in the form of pens and pencils into Iraqi villages and townships.

Al-Sahaf also said the Iraqis have "shot down a lot of those cruise missiles" and said war's impact was "trivial."

"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place"
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 2 April

"They've not been able to control any Iraqi city. We're waging war against this snake and we will be victorious."
"They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks. They will surrender, it is they who will surrender."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 3 April

"Make the land of Islam a burning fire that burns their faces and feet wherever they pass"

"We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our capital, as we are determined to destroy their miserable armies in every Muslim spot."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 4 April

"The criminals will be humiliated... To hurt the enemy more, raise the level of your attacks."
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 5 April

"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport,"

"Those who ran away are now outside the distant perimeter wall of the airport. Now they're outside the wall and the heroic Republican Guard is now in control of the whole area of Saddam International Airport. So where are those villainous louts, those mercenaries?"

"The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."

"We have crushed the whole force which dared to venture there. They were on the runway at Saddam International Airport. That force was crushed"

"Their casualties and bodies are many. Their equipment and vehicles, several were destroyed,"

"They are still trying to bomb with artillery and rocket-propelled grenades to hit the Republican Guard who are controlling Saddam International Airport."

"God willing we'll slaughter them all"
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 6 April
Al-Sahaf denied the report that U.S. forces had moved into the heart of Baghdad from the south and the southeast, a day after securing the airport, west of the Iraqi capital (5. April).
He said the Republican Guard has control of Saddam International Airport after fighting a fierce battle.
Al-Sahaf said he would take reporters to the airport later in the day, after it was cleaned up.

"The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad... Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes."

"One hundred infidels committed suicide as they entered the holy city of Baghdad. Their tanks will become their tombs."

"We will in fact encourage them to commit more suicides. We have given them death and poison."

"There is no presence of the American columns in the city of Baghdad at all. We besieged them and we killed most of them."

"As our leader Saddam Hussein said, "God is grilling their stomachs in hell.""

"The soldiers of Saddam Hussein have given them a lesson they will never forget,"

"These mercenaries, I swear by God, those who are still in Washington, they have sent their troops to be burned."

"The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."

“Don't repeat the lies of the liars.”
- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, 7 April
With American tanks occupying the Baghdad parade ground, he stood calmly a couple of hundred yards away, on the roof of the Palestine Hotel, to tell reporters that none of this was really happening.

Miscellaneous funny quotes by the Iraqi Information Minister

"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.

Our initial assessment is that they will all die.

These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying.

We will slaughter them; Bush Junior, and his international gang of bastards!

The insane little dwarf, Bush.

The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfeld deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.

Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president.

Bush, Blair and Rumsfeld; they are the funny trio.

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!

I blame Al-Jazeera. They are marketing for the Americans.

The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!

Let the American infidels bask in their illusion.

They are most welcome. We will butcher them.

Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.

Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire.

I speak better English than this villain, Bush.

Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly.

They are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration.

They think we are retarded. They are retarded.

Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them.

Today, the tide has turned, we are destroying them.