Bf going to Oxegen?

linola_c · 17-06-2010 07:28PM #1

Doesn't look like I can go to oxegen this year...but my bf wants to go on his own!

Were goin out over 2 years... and i love him to bits!But i dunno how comfortable I am meant to be with this!

Thoughts from girls please x

Kiera · 17-06-2010 07:30PM

My ex was going to oxegen and i wasnt and i had no problem with it at all, why would I? I trusted him 100%. I think you need to ask yourself why you dont like the idea of him going without you!

linola_c · 17-06-2010 07:33PM

Its not that i don't trust him...but i am an incredibly jealous person!Its one thing, i totally despise about myself!But its just in my nature

I suppose ur right!Thanks

Cullen82 · 17-06-2010 07:40PM

I don't know whether to take this post seriously!!

Oxygen??? I'm presuming it's the festival and not a brothel?

God the poor lad must not be allowed to do anything without upsetting you.

You should really tell him to enjoy the weekend and then go about finding the root of your jealousy issues - Don't make your problem his.

xzanti · 17-06-2010 07:41PM

Yeah, think I'd be the same tbh.. I'd be totally jealous..

BUT, having said that, if I had something lined up for myself to do that weekend I'd probably be packing his tent for him myself.. I'd just be raging if he was heading off on a weekend of madness without me and I had nothing planned.. Maybe you could organize something with your pals for that weekend to keep your mind occupied?

Kiera · 17-06-2010 07:46PM

linola_c wrote: »

Its not that i don't trust him...but i am an incredibly jealous person!Its one thing, i totally despise about myself!But its just in my nature

I suppose ur right!Thanks

Have you ever been? I have. Its just a weekend of beer and dancing. If you trust him then you have nothing to worry about. You're going out 2 years so you should know him well enough to know he wont cave in if some girl throws herself at him? Or has he ever done anything before to make you think he'd stray?

linola_c · 17-06-2010 07:50PM

a year ago..he went out and blacked out and ended up having a hickey on his neck!He cant remember anything about it and i do completely believe him on that. He has never got that drunk since needless to say!

I am just being jealous and horrible about it!I'll just have to get on with it!

Kiera · 17-06-2010 07:52PM

linola_c wrote: »

a year ago..he went out and blacked out and ended up having a hickey on his neck!He cant remember anything about it and i do completely believe him on that. He has never got that drunk since needless to say!

I am just being jealous and horrible about it!I'll just have to get on with it!

I'm afraid you will have to just get on with it. Dont think too much about it, its just a weekend away. No biggie

linola_c · 17-06-2010 07:54PM

Thanks for the advice

G-Money · 17-06-2010 07:59PM

I'm not a girl but I think you should just forget about it. He's going to a concert, so what?

I really don't understand this mentality of "one upmanship" that seems to exist in some relationships. It's almost like if your partner is doing something you have to beat them or get even or something.

I think for some people it's a case that they feel their own lives aren't as interesting and are envious and feel like they have to do something in order to "save face".

How would you feel if you were going away for a weekend without him and he started getting jealous? I'm sure you wouldn't like it.

It's healthy I think for couples to do things seperately and without each other present. Personally I don't believe that once you are in a couple/become married, that it puts limits on what you can do.

Just forget about it OP and think about something else.

R.D. aka MR.D · 17-06-2010 08:18PM

If I were you I would instigate a no contact policy. Do something to keep yourself occupied and just meet up with him the day after he comes back.

That way you’ll not be worrying constantly that he hasn’t texted or anything like that.

It’s happening and you just have to deal with it and trust him.

Good Advice · 17-06-2010 09:41PM

i have to be honest here with you id probably be a bit paronoid if my bf went there without me i know thats terrible but just i've been before and know what it can be like, girls and guys so drunk and out of it throwin themselves at eachother and my mates bf was a total lovely guy but ended up cheatin at it, total shock....im sorry but not gonna lie and tell you he wont do anythin he more than likely wont sure you know him best...adn a hickey he dusn remember?please like how could you not remember that...

ManOfMystery · 18-06-2010 12:52AM

Good Advice wrote: »

i have to be honest here wit ya id prob b a bit paro if my bf went there without me i no tats terrible but jst iv been b4 n no wat it can b like, girls n guys so drunk n out of it throwin dmselvs at eachother n my mates bf total like lovely guy ended up cheatin at it, total shock....im sorry but nt gna lie n tel ya he wont do nytin he mre dan likely wont sure u no him best...n a hikey he dusn remembr?plz lyk dy always pull d drunk card n oxegen is a fairly pass out weekend..

What?

Dudess · 18-06-2010 01:12AM

The alternative to just letting him do his own thing is not letting him go/letting him go but giving him an earful... for god's sake, don't do the latter - unless you want to drive him away.

vicecreamsundae · 18-06-2010 03:08AM

i understand you feeling left out/jealous, but like everyone else said, not really anything you can do, so just make other plans so you can look forward to that weekend too.

thought that whole thing about the hickey? i wouldn't trust him at oxegen for one second!! but then i'd have dumped him already. that or tell him he needs to quit drinking.

Silverfish · 18-06-2010 07:35AM

Good Advice, please do not use text speak on this forum.

You have a full keyboard in front of you, please use it.

dublingal80 · 18-06-2010 08:21AM

If you dont trust him and you think he is going to cheat on you, he will do it whether he goes to oxygen or not.

I actually bought my recent ex an oxygen ticket to go with his friends a few years ago, happened very last minute as oxygen was sold out and a ticket came up. I was delighted to go and it never entered my head, even for a second, that anything bad would happen down there.

What happens when your boyfriend is going to go on a stags with his friends? Are you gonna get paranoid that he is going to cheat on you? Or if he goes down to cork for the weekend with a friend? Do you just not trust him without you?

Firetrap · 18-06-2010 09:04PM

If I was your boyfriend and was reading this, I'd be contemplating running for the hills. It's only Oxygen for heaven's sake. Are you always so possessive of him? You'd want to watch that or you'll scare him off altogether. You need to trust him or you'll be tearing yourself up about him every time he's alone with other woman. You sound clingy to be honest - might be worth taking a look at that.

sporina · 19-06-2010 09:39AM

OP, how old are ye? You sound very young.

To be honest, and I am not being mean here, but, is this an issue in your relationship in general? As in, do you freak if he goes somewhere without you, like on a night out or what ever? If so, then you need to work on some stuff.. like perhaps your jealousy issues or trust between you two or what ever.

When in a relationship two people should be able to trust one another. I think you should look at the bigger picture - not just the O2 weekend..

tinkerbell · 19-06-2010 06:23PM

OMG OP you neeed to cop onto yourself. Your boyfriend is not your property, he can go to a concert if he wants. I mean it's not like he's going to a brothal as somebody else said!! I mean for god's sake, you need to get over your jealousy. Stop using it as an excuse by saying "I'm just a jealous person", you clearly have trust issues and you need to sort them out. Otherwise say byebye to your boyfriend coz relationships with trust issues never last.

PS
If your boyfriend is blacking out and ending up with hickeys on his neck that he has no recollection of, then I wouldn't be so sure of how he feels about his relationship with you. It doesn't matter if he was drunk or not, even if you're drunk, you still know what you're doing - regardless of if you can remember or not later. So I think you need to be having a chat about it with him.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 19-06-2010 08:08PM

linola_c wrote: »

a year ago..he went out and blacked out and ended up having a hickey on his neck!He cant remember anything about it and i do completely believe him on that. He has never got that drunk since needless to say!

I am just being jealous and horrible about it!I'll just have to get on with it!

Wouldn't believe that story for a second.

I don't think he's any more likely to cheat on you at oxegen than at a 21st or even a normal night out. Would you let him go to those on his own?

MzFit · 20-06-2010 08:30AM

That hickey explanation is pure bull. Sorry. He carried on with some girl and hasn't got the spine to admit it.

If he is making out with other girls the minute he is out of your sight it's probably because you have the man stifled with your jealousy and possessiveness. And as someone else said, you don't just make out with someone without knowing what you're doing, even if you're drunk. He wanted the mental separation from you and your issues, sorry to say. A little maturity on your part is needed, OP. You are creating this situation for yourself.

He has every right to go to Oxegen. You have no right to keep him locked up. But if he cheats on you again the writing will be very clearly on the wall for you both.

Bf going to Oxegen?

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