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freaking out

  • 13-06-2010 11:46pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6


    Hi.I just found out from a viable source that the guy I dated in November 2007, had already tested positive for HIV in February of the same year.We were together till April 2008 and he chose to leave when I became pregnant.But here's is the confusing bit.During my pregnant phase,several blood screens including HIV were carried out on me and I was found to be negative of everything and this was about 4 months after the last time we had had intercourse.When my son was born,he too was found to be healthy and even right now after 17months.He hasn't even suffered from a cold which is quite unlikely for toddlers his age.

    How is it possible that my son and I dont have the virus?Is there a chance that the virus may have developed later on in my system?And even at that,this guy already had the HIV for almost 10 months before we met.I am confused and worried for myself and my son.Can someone tell me what could have happened?help


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    Speak with your GP tomorrow, and tell him about this situation.It's weird how he never mentioned this to you,Do you still see him now?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Transmission isn't a given. You're not 100% guaranteed to contract the virus, or if you have it to pass it on to your baby. Please God you are safe, I would imagine you are as I think the incubation period is 6 months and you would not have even had your baby at that stage. I'm not a doctor though so....

    Go and see your GP tomorrow and have all the necessary blood tests as a precuation. If he had unprotected sex with you knowing that he had the HIV virus you do realise you can take the ba$tard to the cleaners for reckless endangerment or something similarly vile don't you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    I heard also about the 6 month incubation period!
    If this man is intentionally going around sleeping with woman he has to be stopped!
    make sure it's a fact first!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    The first thing you need to do is get you and your son tested again just so you are absolutely, 100% sure that you are safe.

    However, while I can't make any guarantees about your situation you would not be the first woman to get pregnant by a HIV+ man and not get infected. There are known cases of just this happening. (Though it's rare and nobody should ever take those cases as proof that it's safe for them to knowingly try to get pregnant by a HIV+ man, at least without specialist medical help.) The virus infects your body through your bloodstream, so even though it was probably present in his sperm when you had sex just being in your body isn't enough to infect you. It has to enter your bloodstream, usually through tiny cuts and lesions which you would not be aware of. As well as this it does appear that some people are naturally immune to the virus so you could be one of those people. It's also possible that you have gotten wrong information and this man doesn't have the virus or acquired it after he and you finished.

    Lastly, while the negative tests you have already had make me doubt you or your son are infected, if you are the virus is no longer a death sentence and the earlier it is caught the better it can be managed. There are a lot of very effective treatments currently available and new advances are being made all the time. So while the thought of infection is utterly terrifying, it isn't as bad a diagnosis as it used to be. I know that it's a scary time for you now but the sooner you get tested the sooner you can move forward with your life, hopefully with peace of mind due to a confirmation that you are both negative, but if not with the earliest diagnosis and the best chance to manage it well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Go to doctor and get yourself and your son tested. I would also go to the guards. I think it's a criminal offence to not inform sexual partners you have Hep C and HIV before sleeping with them.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 aquablu


    Thanks for your advice,I will go and get tested again or else my mind wil never be at rest.I also intend to sue him of everything he has,not only has he shied away from responsibilty in looking after his son but this too.I have to stop him.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 aquablu


    Oh no,from the time he chose to leave after I told him of my pregnancy,I couldn't take him back.There was always a chance that if things got tough ,he would run again.thana for your advice


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 aquablu


    Thank you everyone for your advice.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    aquablu wrote: »
    Thanks for your advice,I will go and get tested again or else my mind wil never be at rest.I also intend to sue him of everything he has,not only has he shied away from responsibilty in looking after his son but this too.I have to stop him.

    How many women has he knowingly infected???
    Take whatever steps you need to do in order to ensure both you and your son are safe.
    Just be careful about accusing him unless you are certain.

    I think there have been a few cases of people being charged after knowingly attempting to infect others. So you may also need to seek legal advice on this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    I hope he is'nt infected even though it's not a life sentence anymore that stigma is still attached to it from the 80's, but still nobody would ask for it either!
    If you find out he is for sure like 100% (which I hope he's not)
    People need to know he's going around sleeping with God knows how many woman and then there sleeping with guys and it goes on!


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