When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend

MJ23 · 2010-06-07 15:43:28

When with a new bit of fluff, after going out a few times, things going well? How long can wait til you're comfortable enough to squeeze one out in their presense ? Wait til after you've done the business ?

07-06-2010 04:43PM

#1

MJ23

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When with a new bit of fluff, after going out a few times, things going well?
How long can wait til you're comfortable enough to squeeze one out in their presense ?
Wait til after you've done the business ?

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#2 07-06-2010 04:44PM

Gordon

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Start as you mean to go on. So when you ask her out that's probably the best time in your relationship to drop a bomb. If she agrees to go out with you after that, you're on to a winner!

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#3 07-06-2010 04:45PM

The_Kew_Tour

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get married and then she cant get out and you can let it out

EVENFLOW

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#4 07-06-2010 04:45PM

Cheap Thrills!

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Definitely wait until after you've done the biz.

Directly after both parties admit they are in love with each other the farting can begin to be phased in.

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#5 07-06-2010 04:45PM

orourkeda

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after ridin' her

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#6 07-06-2010 04:46PM

starbelgrade

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When is it okay to fart in front of a new girlfriend?

When her face is near your ass.

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#7 07-06-2010 04:46PM

SoupyNorman

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I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

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#8 07-06-2010 04:46PM

galwayrush

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For her sake, probably not a good idea, for your own sake, it's better to let it out rather than store it.:p

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#9 07-06-2010 04:46PM

Donkey Oaty

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Preface it with "Hang on - this is going to be a good good one..." and then award it marks out of ten for volume, tone, odour, etc.

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#10 07-06-2010 04:47PM

Dr Strange

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Best wait til she drops one first. After that it's open season.

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#11 07-06-2010 04:50PM

studiorat

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Probably around the same time as she figures out that you snore like a wart hog.

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#12 07-06-2010 04:50PM

Cheap Thrills!

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SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

I will never be able to understand how this is possible!

I mean fair play to you and all but.....how?

And can I ask do you fart in front of your family....?

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#13 07-06-2010 04:50PM

The Aussie

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Classic thread title...

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#14 07-06-2010 04:56PM

ejmaztec

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SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

Must have been a great day when you finally unplugged the cork from your arse and let rip.

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#15 07-06-2010 04:58PM

MJ23

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SoupyNorman wrote: »

I would never fart in the presence of my GF of 5years purposely, I actually like her.

5 years, are you mad ? Thats some self control you've got there, fúckin hell. Is she a nun or something ?

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#16 07-06-2010 04:59PM

henryporter

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Best to get it over with now - nothing as painful as trapped wind. Break it to her gently!

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#17 07-06-2010 05:01PM

SoupyNorman

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Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

I will never be able to understand how this is possible!

I mean fair play to you and all but.....how?

And can I ask do you fart in front of your family....?

ejmaztec wrote: »

Must have been a great day when you finally unplugged the cork from your arse and let rip.

MJ23 wrote: »

5 years, are you mad ? Thats some self control you've got there, fúckin hell. Is she a nun or something ?

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

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#18 07-06-2010 05:03PM

Cheap Thrills!

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SoupyNorman wrote: »

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

Phew !!! thank fcuk for that! :pac:

*trumps like a duck*

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#19 07-06-2010 05:03PM

Jaxxy

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Men fart. Women fart. Tis natural.

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#20 07-06-2010 05:05PM

martyboy48

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Ah sure just let rip... After you've done the bizz with her, you can move on to stage 2, putting her hand over it before blasting

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#21 07-06-2010 05:05PM

Maddux Fancy Smile
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This advanced maths equation explains all

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#22 07-06-2010 05:08PM

ejmaztec

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SoupyNorman wrote: »

Guys guys...read my words. I said 'purposely', sure I've blown the head off her on many times but I dont blatantly blast one out in her face.

I bet you're one of these people who bought a dog, with the sole intention of blaming the mutt when the air turns green.:eek:

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#23 07-06-2010 05:22PM

TheZohanS

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True story:

I was dating a girl and I hadn't got passed the "fart beside her in bed" stage. So being a gentleman I decide to get out of bed and head to the loo to have a discreet fart.

Anyhue I get as far as the door and she asks me a question, in the middle of answering her I sneeze...and with it came the fart that I'd been holding in... the sneeze was kinda loud but the fart was louder....

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#24 07-06-2010 05:22PM

Son Of A Vidic

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Bringing 'everything' out into the open is good good for a relationship.

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#25 07-06-2010 05:26PM

bonerm

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You can let out a quiet one in your coffin if you're really really good.

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#26 07-06-2010 05:28PM

Rented Mule

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Right after the first time you bang her.

Pull the duvet over her head and let loose with the auld 'dutch oven'.

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#27 07-06-2010 05:29PM

PeterIanStaker

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TheZohan wrote: »

True story:

I was dating a girl and I hadn't got passed the "fart beside her in bed" stage. So being a gentleman I decide to get out of bed and head to the loo to have a discreet fart.

Anyhue I get as far as the door and she asks me a question, in the middle of answering her I sneeze...and with it came the fart that I'd been holding in... the sneeze was kinda loud but the fart was louder....

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, do you do a backflip??

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#28 07-06-2010 05:30PM

TheZohanS

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PeterIanStaker wrote: »

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, do you do a backflip??

No, unfortunately.

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#29 07-06-2010 05:31PM

Son Of A Vidic

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When I was with my girlfriend of a few weeks(now my wife) we were home late one Saturday night, I was bursting for p1ss. I go into the loo, forgot to close the living room door and forgot to close the bathroom door - It was an emergency p1ss(lads will understand) My bladder was almost ruptured holding it in, mid-flow a huge Fart slipped out. I froze for several minutes, when I eventually summoned the courage and crawled back to herself. She was virtually on the ground crying with laughter - I knew then she was the love of my life.

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#30 07-06-2010 05:32PM

bonerm

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medicman2009 wrote: »

When I was with my girlfriend of a few weeks(now my wife) we were home late one Saturday night, I was bursting for p1ss. I go into the loo, forgot to close the living room door and forgot to close the bathroom door - It was an emergency p1ss(lads will understand) My bladder was almost ruptured holding it in, mid-flow a huge Fart slipped out. I froze for several minutes, when I eventually summoned the courage and crawled back to herself. She was virtually on the ground crying with laughter - I knew then she was the love of my life.

It's hard to find a woman who enjoys toilet humour.

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#31 07-06-2010 05:36PM

Cheap Thrills!

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bonerm wrote: »

It's hard to find a woman who enjoys toilet humour.

*ahem, coughs*

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