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texting my bf pretending to be another girl

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Comments

  • #32
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Macca,
    Basically, the next following bit can be summed up by one word ... Balance.

    We both hold sides to the argument. Nither of us can be wrong or right talking about the subject. Its all about the individual context of each situation.

    Lets look at both points of our views. Yours is that if someone looks at someones phone/email/any act of "snooping" and there is no cheating. Yes its wrong. Then the person doing it would have no trust for their partner either way. I agree.

    For my side of the view, i'm talking about gut-instincts and clearly being lied to. I'm not talking about being the insecure or jealous type. I'm talking when you know something is not right. Is it wrong to seek whats reallly going on? Sadly, we are all susceptible to believe the lies of someone we care about. who mightnt care for us. Its human nature. Is it really wrong to snoop on someone who is lying to you and (in cases) cheating on you? ... is that really crossing a line more so than snooping? Does snooping in this context really out-weigh lies and cheating?



    The point I am trying to make is "balance" - to weigh up each case differently. We both make points. But we are only talking about the subject, not the context of individual situations.


  • #33
    m@cc@
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭m@cc@


    whatsamsn wrote: »
    For my side of the view, i'm talking about gut-instincts and clearly being lied to. I'm not talking about being the insecure or jealous type. I'm talking when you know something is not right. Is it wrong to seek whats reallly going on? Sadly, we are all susceptible to believe the lies of someone we care about. who mightnt care for us. Its human nature. Is it really wrong to snoop on someone who is lying to you and (in cases) cheating on you? ... is that really crossing a line more so than snooping? Does snooping in this context really out-weigh lies and cheating?

    I understand where you're coming from but these are subjective statements. If you "know" someone is lying, confront them and if you still believe their lying, why would you want to be with them any longer? If someone is lying and cheating on you, why would you arse about trying to snoop on them? Surely you'd just want to get out of there. What would snooping around really achieve? If you don't trust your partner to be faithful, what's the point in being together anyway?


  • #34
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    m@cc@ wrote: »
    If you "know" someone is lying, confront them and if you still believe their lying, why would you want to be with them any longer?

    So you confront them. All the while there is the chance that you haven't picked up on the signs right. That your partner could be innocent. If my boyfriend asked me was I cheating on him, I'd be gobsmacked, and would lose my faith in him. I would prefer him to look at my phone without my knowledge to be honest! If I found out he looked at my phone, I'd forgive that quicker than him actually asking me point blank am I cheating!


  • #35
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here! Thanks for all the replies.

    I told him about all of this and he understood completely as he knows about my previous relationships with family and partners.

    He said he isn't angry at all and will help me through this and help me through counselling and keeping our relationship. He also said he wants to work through this and he does trust me and wants me to trust him, this has made it better for my jealously in a way. I feel like now he knows a weight has been lifted and I don't feel so jealous...but still need the help so that its finished for good.

    I have been thinking a lot about it and I just need too let go and realize that if I do not trust him and just get jealous and do stupid things such as this then it will drive him to cheat or even worse I could lose him and thats one thing I don't want to happen.

    He really is all I could ever ask for and I cant believe he is being so understanding and supportive of me :) I couldn't be happier than right now.

    Thank you all for the replies, I guess I needed a kick to stop my stupidity and childishness.


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