Relocate your way to sexiness?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and am about to write a Self-Help Book/How-to Guide and then probably appear on the Oprah Show etc. etc.

Basically the idea is that no matter what physical appearance you have there is somewhere out there where certain features are thought of as being attractive, sexy and desirable.

For example, in Borneo having a nice full Pot-Belly is considered to be a sign of a comfortable life, being a good provider and is considered aesthetically pleasing on the eye - ie. very sexy.

In India pale skin has always been seen as being very attractive due to a historical/cultural belief that it was a sign of wealth due to the fact that manual labour is performed under the searing rays of the Sun.

In many parts of south America ginger hair is lusted after and has long been associated with virility and nocturnal stamina.

In Mongolia having crooked brown teeth and bad breath is rarely an impediment to a Saturday night lay.


I have put a lot of time and research into the topic and this is only a quick sample of my findings - But basically how it would work is that you simply match your key features to a handy fold-out Chart in the back of my Book and then you'll know what flight to book.

For example, if you are a short, pale, pot-bellied, ginger-haired Man with bad breath then get yourself to Indonesia right away where there are about 4.9 million gorgeous, fit, sexy young Women who would gladly wear it away to a nubbin.

And if you are a muffin-topped, substantially-arsed, moustached Irish Woman with orange fake tan and a talent for tracksuit camel-toeing then you're going to breed nicely just about anywhere in Great Britain.