Crappy holiday stories

Dull and Boring · 22-03-2010 01:17AM #1

It's that time of the year when all my friends are planning their holidays. But I'm a student so I'm poor.:(

And since it's unlikely I'll be going ANYWHERE, I'm trying to cheer myself up by thinking of the bad holidays I went on so I won't feel like I'm missing out.:)

My first bad one was when I was younger and involved me getting the chicken pox, staying in a musty house where the owner thought it was appropriate to stay in a caravan at the back of the house and occasionally pop in to say hi!

Another time, I booked in to stay in cottages but they ran out of cottages so the owner put us in his run-down house where his wife had died and he couldn't face returning to clean it so the cobwebs literally hit us in the face as we walked in! Needless to say we decided to leave and went looking for somewhere else to stay at 2am. Found a flat, turns out it wasn't properly finished...the toilet came off the wall and the place flooded!

Other holidays involved creepy B&B owners who tended to come in at night, sit on my bed and have an aul chat! Not ok!!:mad::P And on another occasion the gardai! (Not my fault btw!)

However these stories are fairly mild so I want to hear yours!

IvySlayer · 22-03-2010 01:19AM

Flight got delayed for 8 and half hours.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 22-03-2010 01:22AM

Holidays were always great, just getting to them was the problem

On a 747 from Heathrow to Toronto notcied a team of fire engines driving to our plane. One of the hottest days of the year in London, fuel in the plane expanded and pissed out the overflows of the wings. Now I'm not a good flier, I hate the ascent, but they kept us there for 3 hours and apparantely the air con doesn't work until you're in the air.
We were given some 'hot' water by the cabin crew but it was torture

AnonoBoy · 22-03-2010 01:25AM

Went to Eastern Europe on holidays with two American guys and an Icelandic dude once. We went to Slovakia looking for this hostel full of hot chicks but I got bored and went back to Ireland. Didn't hear how the holiday went for them but it was probably sh*te.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 22-03-2010 01:26AM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Went to Eastern Europe on holidays with a two American guys and an Icelandic dude once. We went to Slovakia looking for this hostel full of hot chicks but I got bored and went back to Ireland. Didn't hear how the holiday went for them but it was probably sh*te.

I heard they got laid.
That Icelandic dude lost his head though

alwaysadub · 22-03-2010 01:27AM

Nothing major really ever happened on my holidays.
I nearly drowned in an aquapark in Spain when i was bout 10. My parents saw me splashing about and thought i was waving at them so sat there looking at me! Had to get rescued by the life guard.

Oh and a few years later(also in Spain) the poor fella in the apartment below us fell from his balcony and died. I heard all the screams and saw him on the ground but was made go back indoors cos i was too young. Was horrible though.

Oh,i guess i did have a couple of crappy holidays so..

Chinafoot · 22-03-2010 01:31AM

First year in college and 3 of us decided to go on a cheapy sun holiday. 3 suddenly turned to 5 with the other two wanting to invite school friends of theirs. Not really an issue. Anyway, it gets to literally days before we're due to go and one of the girls friends pulls out due to family stuff. The very day we were supposed to go, one of the college girls pulled out due to illness. So it was myself, my good college friend Mary, and sicky's mate Ann. Turns out Ann was a complete nightmare. At the airport she turned up in a shiny pink tracksuit having had her hair butchered. She looked about 40. Psychopath that kept trying to get in with any other group we came across, not in a friendly way...in a really creepy way. Liked to tell people she had, wait for it, 8 miscarriages...and she didn't even know about 3 of them "the doctor just knew!"

Mary ended up meeting some fella from Cork on the second night and spent the whole week with him, leaving me with fecking loony bin. Bit of a falling out there with Ann stirring the shí big time. On one of the last nights I was so pissed off with the situation that I ended up getting hammered (with Ann...again) and ended up with some fella. Ann ended up with his friend. When we got home Ann told everyone that she had been with the one I had been with.

I bumped into the two lads in town one night and the one she had been with told me that she stole one of his shirts and a pair of his socks.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 22-03-2010 01:32AM

All holiday stories are crap. Boring too. It really pisses me off when my friends boast about getting drunk on cheap spirits and running from the police or jumping into a swimming pool or meeting other Irish people when they visited some sunny and obscure Spanish island. We get it, you're mad craic and totally crazy. You're also just like every other tosser our age who visited Costa del Scobe with his friends. Piss off with your stupid, familiar anecdotes and photos of you in your ****ing GAA jerseys/vests with your pale arms around your identical friends. You look like a damn gang of homosexual plucked chickens.

In conclusion, I don't like holiday stories.

AnonoBoy · 22-03-2010 01:43AM

Trinity Loud Slingshot wrote: »

In conclusion, I don't like holiday stories.

You haven't heard mine yet though......

....so after the two bottles of vodka (which only cost 4 euro each! F*cking hell!) me and this girl from England were legging it away from the security guards of the water park and she slips, smacks her head on the diving board of the pool and goes under the water. I'm all like 'oh ****' and then she comes up out of the water and her bikini top has fallen off and all the lads are like 'waaahheeeyyyyyy' and then I fall over, puke, pass out and my friends leave me there so when I wake up 4 hours later I'm so badly sunburned I have to go to the emergency room and be treated for 3rd degree burns!

Awesome story bro, huh?

marko91 · 22-03-2010 03:58AM

few years ago in santa ponsa my cousin almost died in the swimming pool in the bouganvillia:eek: - other than that was a great holiday or so i taught til i went on lads holidays:P

Evolute · 22-03-2010 04:54AM

In Portugal when I was about 4 or 5 I was running around the waterpark in a big fake cave with big bits sticking out all over the place I'm running around and manage to split my head open by 4 inches needless to say that was a bit of a downer considering that was the second day of a 2 week holiday:p

Either that or being arrested over in Almeria Spain when I had just turned 17 for kicking the crap out of a gypsy who tried to rob me and a friend. It wasnt very useful that the cop didnt speak a word of English. So my friend and I get put in the back of the car and are carted off down to the station while another police man brings the gypsy all in all I spent 16 hours in the police station. Which was more of a s**t one for my folks who didnt know where I was the whole night.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 22-03-2010 06:27AM

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

high heels · 22-03-2010 06:40AM

went last year to some where hot to take part in a sport.. I was stuck in the room with one of the crew.. To be honest the heat was getting to me and I had a job to do while over there..

The crew member blew a grand in 2 days fell in with the local drug dealer so was staying up for the first few days wired.. Then the guys who we were playing had a BBQ so free booze ( he was saving his cash as he was broke so couldent afford to do anything) I woke up to a hooker in our room.. ( spent his last $200 on her) I had no idea what to say he was like roll over and Ill be quiet... EWWWWW
So ya kicked the **** out for the night after that.. he also thought I ate his pizza and tried to have a fight with me over it but he was so drunk he just forgot he ate it himself..

He ruined the event for me.. I spent a fortune to go to it and the **** ruined it.. left the team after it.. Not worth knowing scum..

bazzjazz · 22-03-2010 10:04AM

Sounds like you need to listen to this

syklops · 22-03-2010 12:25PM

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

Did you even read the OP?

marko91 · 22-03-2010 08:01PM

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

dry****e

This_Years_Love · 23-03-2010 01:17AM

A friend of my dad's was on holiday in Tenerife with his family. He was coming out of a nightclub and he saw some fella beating up a girl. He tried to help the girl and stop your man from beating her, the fella turned on him and started beating Mick (my dad's mate) and pulled out a knief and stabbed Mick in the face. Mick ended up losing his eye.

recylingbin · 23-03-2010 01:22AM

I went on holiday once and it was all foreigners.
Oh the humanity.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 23-03-2010 01:26AM

syklops wrote: »

Did you even read the OP?

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.

marko91 wrote: »

dry****e

Mature you mean? Sorry I don't like sleeping in my own piss and vomit for 2 weeks. I must be a right bore altogether... :rolleyes:

marko91 · 23-03-2010 01:31AM

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.

Mature you mean? Sorry I don't like sleeping in my own piss and vomit for 2 weeks. I must be a right bore altogether... :rolleyes:

yes what u said there might be boring but clubbing til 9am in the morning and getting pissed and getting with hot foreign women then relaxing getting a tan in the day is NOT a bore its heaven:Dwell i duno ur age maby ur older and grew out of it and i may aswell:(hopefully not though

RMD · 23-03-2010 01:33AM

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

Dull and Boring · 23-03-2010 01:34AM

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays.

Tell me them RMD! I need entertaining!

marko91 · 23-03-2010 01:35AM

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

true true, maby someone should start a "funniest holiday stories" thread (im too lazy:rolleyes:)...then i could fill line upon line of ridiciolous things that happened to me and mates on holidays:pac:

The Master · 23-03-2010 01:39AM

marko91 wrote: »

dry****e

Banned

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 23-03-2010 01:45AM

marko91 wrote: »

yes what u said there might be boring but clubbing til 9am in the morning and getting pissed and getting with hot foreign women then relaxing getting a tan in the day is NOT a bore its heaven:Dwell i duno ur age maby ur older and grew out of it and i may aswell:(hopefully not though

Probably not much older than you, :P I might actually be younger than you :P

The only lads holiday I will be on again is the trip to Holland. Then again there's only 5 of us going, so not exactly a lads holiday.

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

But this is the "crappy holiday stories" thread :P

Anyway it's all relative.

RMD · 23-03-2010 01:46AM

Dull and Boring wrote: »

Tell me them RMD! I need entertaining!

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

Dull and Boring · 23-03-2010 01:49AM

Now that's an entertaining story RMD, and a crappy holiday story for the other man at the same time! Well done!!:D

recylingbin · 23-03-2010 01:52AM

RMD wrote: »

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

Needless to say.

I hope he got thrown out as well.

cherryghost · 23-03-2010 01:53AM

RMD wrote: »

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

you must be a huge hit with the ladies

starbelgrade · 23-03-2010 01:58AM

This one time, at band camp...

BongoJuice · 23-03-2010 02:05AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

This one time, at band camp...

Have you seen that 'movie' she made with her bf? She knows her way round a flute.

Crappy holiday stories

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