Man Breaks Into Church To Watch Porn

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 04:46AM #1

This guy was so horny he broke into a Church to watch some porn DVDs he had.

A man in Iowa has been charged with burglary after he broke into a church - and used the church television to watch pornography.

The 55-year-old man allegedly broke into the First Christian Church in Ames, Iowa on Thursday, whereupon he set about collecting a number of items from around the building, before retiring to the basement for the night, where authorities say he set up a camp.

The man then used the church's equipment to watch a selection of porn movies he had with him.

Staff from a preschool group who use the church found him on Friday morning, when they noticed a number of items missing, and then heard noises coming from the basement.

Police were called, and arrived to find the man attempt to flee while dragging a rubbish bin filled with electronic equipment, food, kitchen utensils and a 26-inch flatscreen TV - all of it from the church.

'He kind of made himself at home,' Commander Mike Brennan of the Ames Police Department told the Ames Tribune newspaper.

Bit harsh I think, it's nice to see that some people still go to Mastur day

Sharpshooter · 13-03-2010 04:52AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

This guy was so horny he broke into a Church to watch some porn DVDs he had.

The devil!

Hank_Jones · 13-03-2010 04:52AM

That's quite less shocking than the stuff we generally hear in relation to the church.

I say give the guy a break, who here can honestly say that they have never broke into a church in order to watch porn?

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 05:03AM

Well, we've all been on our knees in a church with our eyes closed and our tongues out waiting to receive

The Pontiac · 13-03-2010 05:06AM

I knew a guy that broke into our local church to steal the wine they use for Jesus' blood. He got two bottles of the stuff. He also took the Gold Chalice while he was there.

mikom · 13-03-2010 05:06AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

This guy was so horny he broke into a Church to watch some porn DVDs he had.

Must have been hard up.

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 05:08AM

<Ollie> wrote: »

He also took the Gold Chalice while he was there.

Maybe he had just seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and fancied himself as Indiana Jones and went looking for the Holy Grail

The Pontiac · 13-03-2010 05:16AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

Maybe he had just seen Indiana Jones and thought it was the Holy Grail

LOL. The guy was an absolute nutter so he could have actually thought that.

IvySlayer · 13-03-2010 05:47AM

A man in Iowa has been charged with burglary after he broke into a church - and used the church television to watch pornography

The 55-year-old man allegedly broke into the First Christian Church in Ames, Iowa on Thursday, whereupon he set about collecting a number of items from around the building, before retiring to the basement for the night, where authorities say he set up a camp.

The man then used the church's equipment to watch a selection of porn movies he had with him.

Staff from a preschool group who use the church found him on Friday morning, when they noticed a number of items missing, and then heard noises coming from the basement.

Police were called, and arrived to find the man attempt to flee while dragging a rubbish bin filled with electronic equipment, food, kitchen utensils and a 26-inch flatscreen TV - all of it from the church.

'He kind of made himself at home,' Commander Mike Brennan of the Ames Police Department told the Ames Tribune newspaper.

That's damn good detective skills right there.

cafecolour · 13-03-2010 06:07AM

From the retiring for the night/setting up camp bit, I'd surmise he was a transient/homeless guy. And of his limited belongings, he carries around his porn stash. Priorities

dilallio · 13-03-2010 11:31AM

He"s a Porn - Again Christian!

PeterIanStaker · 13-03-2010 11:53AM

All he's doing it watching consenting adults going at it, something churches everywhere frown upon. I say fair play to him, sure that 26" flatscreen TV must have come out of parish funds.

antodeco · 13-03-2010 12:05PM

He claimed he was looking for something hole-y.

Erren Music · 13-03-2010 01:36PM

Churches should be used for other things, after all the people of the local area paid for them. They only seem to be used on sundays.

possible uses

live music venue, book clubs, kids music practise, concerts, they all have a big stage and decent acoustics

Karl Hungus · 13-03-2010 02:06PM

<Ollie> wrote: »

I knew a guy that broke into our local church to steal the wine they use for Jesus' blood. He got two bottles of the stuff. He also took the Gold Chalice while he was there.

You know Sir Digby Chicken Caesar!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8942jUvas

ScumLord · 13-03-2010 02:14PM

OutlawPete wrote: »

This guy was so horny he broke into a Church to watch some porn DVDs he had.

Bit harsh I think, it's nice to see that some people still go to Mastur day

It's not harsh considering he was caught in the act of stealing loads of stuff, the **** is just an other incidental really.

Police were called, and arrived to find the man attempt to flee while dragging a rubbish bin filled with electronic equipment, food, kitchen utensils and a 26-inch flatscreen TV - all of it from the church.

He probably left in disgust once he found the priest porn stash

biko · 13-03-2010 02:26PM

I've always wanted to go to Iowa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqHgZhLLTc0

Kasabian · 13-03-2010 02:38PM

It would be more fcuked up if he had broken into a Porn shop to watch mass.

Plowman · 13-03-2010 03:02PM

This post has been deleted.

philologos · 13-03-2010 04:00PM

Erren Music wrote: »

Churches should be used for other things, after all the people of the local area paid for them. They only seem to be used on sundays.

Churches are funded by the congregation, not by the general public. I agree that the congregation should have a say in how the church is used, but those who aren't a part of the churches cannot dictate how they should be used.

RayM · 13-03-2010 04:20PM

Jakkass wrote: »

Churches are funded by the congregation, not by the general public. I agree that the congregation should have a say in how the church is used, but those who aren't a part of the churches cannot dictate how they should be used.

Are you suggesting that only members of the congregation should be allowed to watch porn in churches? To me, that sounds very exclusionary. What would Jesus have thought about that, eh?

philologos · 13-03-2010 04:23PM

RayM wrote: »

Are you suggesting that only members of the congregation should be allowed to watch porn in churches? To me, that sounds very exclusionary. What would Jesus have thought about that, eh?

Read what I quoted again.

RayM · 13-03-2010 04:37PM

Jakkass wrote: »

Read what I quoted again.

It's ok, I was joking. I don't seriously believe churches should provide masturbatoriums for non-parishioners.

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 04:45PM

He didn't go to the Church to jerk-off.

People just misunderstood what he said.

His mate Sean stole his money and he just said: "I'm going to Mass to bate Sean.

/gets coat, gloves, suitcase

Man Breaks Into Church To Watch Porn

Comments