Still living with the mammy

zootroid · 20-01-2010 02:25AM

Recently returned home from travelling, and now living at home while I look for a job. It's a killer to be honest, being independent for so long (10 years), and then going back to relying on your parents for a place to live. Can't wait to get work and back on my feet again.

Raekwon · 20-01-2010 03:20AM

Well considering that unemployment has more than doubled in the last year alone (and is continuing to rise) coupled with us having the world's highest gross external debt thanks to the property bubble, so no loans which means no money to buy houses which got us into this mess in the first place. I think thousands of people out there have alot more to worry about then being shacked up with their folks, regardless of age.

On a side note, I have my own place (& I'm up to my neck in debt!) but because of this thread I had a quick look through daft.ie at rentals in Dublin City Centre and surrounding areas and the prices seem to be around the same since I stopped renting back in 2005 (I paid €1,000 for a one bedroom apartment back then). With the prices still that high I don't blame people looking for alterative living arrangements.

AnonoBoy · 20-01-2010 03:27AM

Raekwon wrote: »

On a side note, I have my own place (& I'm up to my neck in debt!) but because of this thread I had a quick look through daft.ie at rentals in Dublin City Centre and surrounding areas and the prices seem to be around the same since I stopped renting back in 2005 (I paid €1,000 for a one bedroom apartment back then). With the prices still that high I don't blame people looking for alterative living arrangements.

Ah now. Rents have dropped considerably in the past two years. You can get a decent two bed house not far from the city centre for 900 - 1,200 euro today.

MrsKitka · 20-01-2010 07:13AM

When I were a young swinging, single lass back in my home country, one of my lovers still lived with his parents. It was a real nuisance. He'd drop everything at moment's notice if his mother called him to ask to be taken shopping. He'd constantly stay over at my flat in the city but never *ever* brought me over to his house. He whined about going to restaurants making up some excuse about suffering a bad stomach and *only* eating what his mammy prepared for him. He was meaner than second skimmings and hadn't a clue how to treat a lady, yet he owned a Toyota Corolla and had a very lucrative job. I can still remember the smell of mothballs emanating from his long underwear every time he's strip off before sex.. *erk*
Interestingly enough, when I ditched him, I met a nice red-headed Irish boy visiting from overseas who swept me off my feet -- enough to make me renounce my swinging ways, up sticks and move out of the country and in with him. He eventually became my husband. Needless to say, Husband, despite having lived with his parents until just before his 30th birthday is independent, thoughtful and a good man, a great husband and dad to boot! We now live in a house with his mammy in the granny flat and we're happy as clams, especially since granny likes to babysit! Hurrah!

kowloon · 20-01-2010 08:24AM

I'm not sure saving, leaving home and owning your own place is a viable solution for most these days. It's not unusual to see three generations of a family living in a single home in other countries.
I'm not saying people should be staying at home all their lives, but I don't see why it's somehow necessary to permanently break up the family.

itsallaboutheL · 20-01-2010 08:53AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know plenty of people who've done it. And they're far from failures, they own their own houses instead of throwing rent money down the drain for years with nothing to show for it in the end. If you can stay at home until you're financially secure then why not?

I personally couldn't have done it but that's just me!

I think you'll find the bank owns their houses, which are now worth considerably less than what they paid for them.....

bet they're sorry they stayed at home with Mammy now!!

I don't get it, spend your 20s at home under the folks roof in order to save up for a pile of responsibilities... there's definately an element of fun missing there..

**** it there's more to life than having a crippling mortgage in your mid-twenties imo.

BizzyC · 20-01-2010 10:29AM

phantom_lord wrote: »

because you're mooching off your parents?

of course you're a failure if you do, you're admitting you're incapable of supporting yourself or living independently.

also how are you meant to have relationships or a social life if you're constrained by living at home?

You're an extremely shallow person.

Measuring whether or not a person is a success or failure based on living situation is a load of sh*te. There are people who'll still be at home because they can't find a place to live, or can't afford anything decent on their current salary.

Would you consider these people to be a success if they moved out and lived in a complete sh*thole instead?

bonerm · 20-01-2010 10:41AM

MrsKitka wrote: »

When I were a young swinging, single lass back in my home country, one of my lovers still lived with his parents. It was a real nuisance. He'd drop everything at moment's notice if his mother called him to ask to be taken shopping. He'd constantly stay over at my flat in the city but never *ever* brought me over to his house. He whined about going to restaurants making up some excuse about suffering a bad stomach and *only* eating what his mammy prepared for him. He was meaner than second skimmings and hadn't a clue how to treat a lady, yet he owned a Toyota Corolla and had a very lucrative job. I can still remember the smell of mothballs emanating from his long underwear every time he's strip off before sex.. *erk*
Interestingly enough, when I ditched him, I met a nice red-headed Irish boy visiting from overseas who swept me off my feet -- enough to make me renounce my swinging ways, up sticks and move out of the country and in with him. He eventually became my husband. Needless to say, Husband, despite having lived with his parents until just before his 30th birthday is independent, thoughtful and a good man, a great husband and dad to boot! We now live in a house with his mammy in the granny flat and we're happy as clams, especially since granny likes to babysit! Hurrah!

This is a lot more amusing if you read it in the style of Tobias Fünke.

20-01-2010 10:43AM

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

I think you'll find the bank owns their houses, which are now worth considerably less than what they paid for them.....

bet they're sorry they stayed at home with Mammy now!!

I don't get it, spend your 20s at home under the folks roof in order to save up for a pile of responsibilities... there's definately an element of fun missing there..

**** it there's more to life than having a crippling mortgage in your mid-twenties imo.

Nah there's only one of them who bought at the height of the boom - and actually he's the most succesful of all - go figure! He's a senior manager in one of Ireland's largest accountancy firms!

The rest of them all bought before and are planning on staying there for the rest of their lives so it makes very little difference what price their house it worth if they're never going to sell and can afford the mortgage.

But you're dead right, there is more to life that having a crippling mortgage in your mid twenties. The thread relates to being a failure when living at home as an adult though rather than the merits of renting over buying, I was just giving an example of people I know who aren't failures just because they stayed at home until there md twenties!

BraziliaNZ · 20-01-2010 10:47AM

Deleted User wrote: »

early 20's - finish college at 23 - spend a few months getting a job, probably on a fairly rubbish salary - seeing as you've no experience

Mid 20's start saving to buy your own house circa 25k deposit

Mid to late 20's finally have saved that deposit - start looking for house and finally buy

Late 20's move out.

Fairly normal I'd say.

sounds like you wasted your 20s I'm afraid

phantom_lord · 20-01-2010 10:48AM

BizzyC wrote: »

Measuring whether or not a person is a success or failure based on living situation is a load of sh*te.

it's a pretty basic barometer.

BizzyC wrote: »

There are people who'll still be at home because they can't find a place to live, or can't afford anything decent on their current salary.

that's hardly what i'd call success.

Would you consider these people to be a success if they moved out and lived in a complete sh*thole instead?

at least they wouldn't be leeches.

20-01-2010 10:52AM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

sounds like you wasted your 20s I'm afraid

:rolleyes:

Read the thread. I haven't been living at home since I was 17.

BraziliaNZ · 20-01-2010 10:54AM

Deleted User wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Read the thread. I haven't been living at home since I was 17.

well then your blueprint for 20s sucks

Dr. Feelgood · 20-01-2010 10:54AM

I don't see anything wrong with living at home for a year or two after graduating from college just to get on your feet and save some money. I'm sure most people parents would be happy with this also.

20-01-2010 10:55AM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

well then your blueprint for 20s sucks

In your opinion.

itsallaboutheL · 20-01-2010 10:56AM

Deleted User wrote: »

In your opinion.

*waves*

mine too..

Dr. Feelgood · 20-01-2010 10:57AM

phantom_lord wrote: »

it's a pretty basic barometer.

that's hardly what i'd call success.

at least they wouldn't be leeches.

Would I be right in saying you come across as quite bitter about this?

phantom_lord · 20-01-2010 10:58AM

no, not at all

time42play · 20-01-2010 10:59AM

Failure is a man in his 40's, never lived away from his parents' house. Hasn't worked in over a decade, so with the economy the way it is there's not a hope of him getting work now. His old excuse was "but that's not what I want to do". Parents will be supporting him for the rest of his life, and god help him when they're gone!!

His brother also lives at home, but works full time, pays a decent rent, and helps the parents out with nearly everything.

The third son is now back only b/c he and his partner lost their house due to the recession (she's staying with her mum) and they're planning to move back out as her mum is getting a place with an attached flat that they'll rent from her.

First son is DEFINITELY a complete and utter LOSER. Second son, well depends on how you define it. Third son is just a victim of the economy.

BraziliaNZ · 20-01-2010 10:59AM

phantom_lord wrote: »

it's a pretty basic barometer.

that's hardly what i'd call success.

at least they wouldn't be leeches.

leeches? Most people have had to stay at home for a while, in my case it was after living abroad for a few years, and needed a few months to get back on my feet. Leeches though? They're your parents, your blood, you're not leeching off them, if you have/ever had kids, you'll do the same for them, and you wont do it in spite of them.

Mr Benevolent · 20-01-2010 11:00AM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've been living away from my parents since I was 19 or thereabouts.

Most of my friends are financially independent from their parents and have been for quite some time. If somebody is in their 30's and still living at home I would have to wonder to be honest. Do they have the ability to actually make it by themselves?

(Moving home because of the exceptional circumstances like the recession is one thing but just being too lazy or incapable of moving out is quite another)

Tell me, why is being €400,000 in debt (negative equity debt too) a sign that you've made it on your own?

20-01-2010 11:00AM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I made my own food and lived by my own rules,

I hate cooking/food shopping so not making my own food didn't bother me.

I lived by my own rules too. Its not as if I was tied to my parents, having a car gave me more independence than living in town imo. I could go where I wanted when I wanted and also being from the country having a car was vital. I couldn't imagine doing without the car and I couldn't have afforded renting and had a car.

I moved out when I was 23 only because I had to move away a log distance away, I have to say if I was still living/working locally I would probably be still living at home (I'm 25 btw). It sickens me handing over rent every month that could be spent on other things I want.

20-01-2010 11:02AM

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

*waves*

mine too..

*waves back*

It is kind of mine too. Hence I said earlier in the thread that I wouldn't be able to do it. Wouldn't mean you're a failure if you do though (in my opinion

)

Gyalist · 20-01-2010 11:02AM

Deleted User wrote: »

They were saying on the radio this morning that Berlusconi is trying to introduce a law in Italy that says you can't live with your parents once you turn 18 :eek:

There's a similar scheme in the Basque country in Spain for over-25s. A good friend of mine moved from Dublin to San Sebastian a few years ago and he and his girlfriend both receive monthly grants for not living with their parents. He currently rents a beautiful, large 3-bed apartment for less than the rent of a one-bed box in Dublin.

Bill-e · 20-01-2010 11:06AM

For most of you ppl saying you moved out when you were 17,18,19 I bet ye had to move out to go to college that is too far away to commute to. Is there anyone here that moved out at that age just cause they felt like it?
I lived a couple of miles away from college and stayed at home till 24 when I got my kick ass job.
I accrued large enough debt just living at home, god knows how much I'd owe the bank now if I had been renting!

20-01-2010 11:07AM

Gyalist wrote: »

There's a similar scheme in the Basque country in Spain for over-25s. A good friend of mine moved from Dublin to San Sebastian a few years ago and he and his girlfriend both receive monthly grants for not living with their parents. He currently rents a beautiful, large 3-bed apartment for less than the rent of a one-bed box in Dublin.

/checks aerlingus.com for special offers

stovelid · 20-01-2010 11:17AM

Gyalist wrote: »

There's a similar scheme in the Basque country in Spain for over-25s. A good friend of mine moved from Dublin to San Sebastian a few years ago and he and his girlfriend both receive monthly grants for not living with their parents. He currently rents a beautiful, large 3-bed apartment for less than the rent of a one-bed box in Dublin.

I think if tax-payers were required to partially fund independence here, you might well see a rapid volte-face from some of the posters for whom independence is so dear.

Gyalist · 20-01-2010 11:21AM

Deleted User wrote: »

/checks aerlingus.com for special offers

He has an Irish father and a Spanish Basque mother. I don't know if it's open to everyone.

itsallaboutheL · 20-01-2010 11:24AM

Deleted User wrote: »

*waves back*

It is kind of mine too. Hence I said earlier in the thread that I wouldn't be able to do it. Wouldn't mean you're a failure if you do though (in my opinion )

To be fair i didn't either!!

phantom_lord · 20-01-2010 11:29AM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Leeches though? They're your parents, your blood

...

Still living with the mammy

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