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Still living with the mammy

2456

Comments

  • #32
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    College while still living with your parents must have been sh*t I'd imagine. Jaysus.

    Oh and you know what? Buying a house in your late twenties? F*ck that noise.


  • #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    seriously? i'd certainly consider that a major failure.
    .

    I know plenty of people who've done it. And they're far from failures, they own their own houses instead of throwing rent money down the drain for years with nothing to show for it in the end. If you can stay at home until you're financially secure then why not?

    I personally couldn't have done it but that's just me!


  • #34
    phantom_lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,896 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I know plenty of people who've done it. And they're far from failures, they own their own houses instead of throwing rent money down the drain for years with nothing to show for it in the end. If you can stay at home until you're financially secure then why not?

    because you're mooching off your parents?

    of course you're a failure if you do, you're admitting you're incapable of supporting yourself or living independently.

    also how are you meant to have relationships or a social life if you're constrained by living at home?

    also renting vs buying isn't the snap financial decision a lot of people seem to think it is.


  • #35
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,773 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    College while still living with your parents must have been sh*t I'd imagine. Jaysus..

    Why?

    I lived a 20 minute drive from college, had my own car and because I didn't have to pay rent or buy food and worked two days a week I always had money during college for nights out and buying stuff etc, while people living in town had no money and couldn't drink in pubs half the time, always wanting cheap nights out. Any night I wanted to go out there were plenty of friends houses to stay in so didn't have to go home. Oh and dinner ready when you get home in the evening, only job :D!!


  • #36
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    If you can stay at home until you're financially secure then why not?

    Personally I think it leads to the unhealthy Irish Mammy's Boy syndrome where we get grown adults who can't do things for themselves and then leap straight into a marriage where they expect their wife to pick up after them, make their food, wash their clothes and basically mollycoddle them the way their mother did.

    Ask any of these people can they install a washing machine in their house, do they know how to turn off the water, who to call when the plumbing goes wrong, how to clean out the drains, unblock a toilet, get stains out of carpets, how to query a bill that looks too high - the vast majority won't know how to even start going about it because they didn't have to learn any of it themselves because Mammy and Daddy took care of all that.


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  • #37
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Paige Dry Scanner wrote: »
    Why?

    I lived a 20 minute drive from college, had my own car and because I didn't have to pay rent or buy food and worked two days a week I always had money during college for nights out and buying stuff etc, while people living in town had no money and couldn't drink in pubs half the time, always wanting cheap nights out. Any night I wanted to go out there were plenty of friends houses to stay in so didn't have to go home. Oh and dinner ready when you get home in the evening, only job :D!!

    Funnily enough I supported myself all the way through college, lived away from my parents and could still afford to go out a lot and had loads of fun. I made my own food and lived by my own rules, could bring anybody I wanted back to my house and still managed to do it all and graduate near the top of my class.

    I didn't need my Mammy to make me dinner and became a strong independent adult that could take care of himself and didn't have to come running to my folks for cash all the time.

    I dunno, maybe it's just me but my parents respected me for being my own person and not mooching off them constantly.


  • #38
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Depends on age, situation, size of house, relationship with parent(s) etc.

    Each to their own.

    I think it's fine in your 20s though.


  • #39
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    because you're mooching off your parents?

    of course you're a failure if you do, you're admitting you're incapable of supporting yourself or living independently.

    .

    It's not mooching off your parents though if you are working and paying your way in the house - is it?

    Can't see the social life being a huge problem while living at home, but yeh the relationship thing would probably be a pain in the arse.

    As for admitting that you're incapable of supporting yourself, I disagree with this, I think it's tough for people these days and as long as they are working in the right direction and doing everything to get themselves into a situation which makes them secure then I really don't see the harm and I certainly wouldn't see them as a failure. If they moved out at 27 had a really good job and had bought a really nice place, I would see that as quite successful.

    Yeh the renting v buying is something I'm just not sure of yet! I rented from the age of 17 to 21 and then I bought my first house, I'm on my second now and I definitely would prefer to own over renting, you never really feel like it's your home when you rent, but that's just my opinion, I'm sure there are plenty who don't feel the same.


  • #40
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    AnonoBoy wrote: »

    Ask any of these people can they install a washing machine in their house, do they know how to turn off the water, who to call when the plumbing goes wrong, how to clean out the drains, unblock a toilet, get stains out of carpets, how to query a bill that looks too high - the vast majority won't know how to even start going about it because they didn't have to learn any of it themselves because Mammy and Daddy took care of all that.

    Jeeze I've been living out of home since I was a teenager and I wouldn't know how to clean out the drains :pac:

    But seriously, any of my friends that stayed at home til that bit later certainly weren't mollycoddled at all, they are very independent all have very good jobs are mature adults who didn't stay at home for the easy life but worked very hard to ensure that they had laid a good foundation for themselves.

    Different strokes and all that, I just thinking saying that "anyone who lives at home in their twenties is a failure" is a ridiculously sweeping statement, and I'm not a fan of generalisations of any kind!


  • #41
    jd007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    stepbar wrote: »
    There's a chap who lives across from where I live. The odd morning I happen to come out the door at the same time, his mammy is out in her dressing gown seeing him off as he wheels his bike down the garden path. I'd say the chap is the wrong side of 40.

    The fcuking sap.

    Bit harsh no? Maybe he can't afford his own place/lost his house? Surely he hasn't been living there forever?


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  • #42
    Azureus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,130 ✭✭✭Azureus


    Im the same as you Whoopsadaisy, rented from the age of 18 to now (nearly 22) and am going to buy in the next year or so because I want something I can call my own etc.

    I could not imagine living at home, the thought just depresses me. I have learned so much from living independantly that I know I would not have learned at home no matter how much I supported myself financially while there. Its just life experience that I think you need, if not by my age then at least by the time you hit 30! The OPs gfs family is shocking to me, but I suppose that is just how some people live.

    That said, in order to save for my deposit I am moving into my bfs parents home next month for a bit. Needs must and all that, but there is no way I could do it without a valid reason (same goes for living in my own parents home) like losing my job/not able to afford rent/saving for a deposit/etc. Not just aimlessly living with my parents for the forseeable future...


  • #43
    Mrmoe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,216 ✭✭✭Mrmoe


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Personally I think it leads to the unhealthy Irish Mammy's Boy syndrome where we get grown adults who can't do things for themselves and then leap straight into a marriage where they expect their wife to pick up after them, make their food, wash their clothes and basically mollycoddle them the way their mother did.

    Ask any of these people can they install a washing machine in their house, do they know how to turn off the water, who to call when the plumbing goes wrong, how to clean out the drains, unblock a toilet, get stains out of carpets, how to query a bill that looks too high - the vast majority won't know how to even start going about it because they didn't have to learn any of it themselves because Mammy and Daddy took care of all that.

    I've beee living away from home since I was 17 and I till don't know how to get those blood red wine stains out of the carpet.:eek:

    If people can't do these things anyway before they move out of home then there really is a problem. If you are really over the age of 10-12 then the things that your parents do for you should gradually become less and less. Just because a person lives at home with their parents does not mean that they get everything done for them. One could argue that it benefits both parties if you help around the house and make a contribution. It is not ideal however and there eventually has to come a time where you have to stand on your own too feet.


  • #44
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    LOL at early 20-somethings saying people way older than them are failures - come back in five years' time...

    I couldn't give a fook tbh - there's a bit too much judging on this thread, IMO. I disagree that rent is "dead money" (it's payment for a service) and I don't think you're doing yourself any favours by not moving out of home at all until you move in with a partner/buy your own place, but if someone grows up in e.g. the inner city, it makes sense to stay at home, provided they contribute to bills, help out around the house, maybe buy a car... in order to have some semblance of independence.
    Also, I went to college seven miles away - it would have been a ludicrous waste of money for me to pay rent while an undergrad. And I moved away for my postgrad. I moved out at 22 - took out a car loan and started contributing to bills as soon as I started working though (21).


  • #45
    big_show
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 645 ✭✭✭big_show


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Mid 20's start saving to buy your own house circa 25k deposit

    /Hits Panic Button


  • #46
    stepbar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,123 ✭✭✭stepbar


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    because you're mooching off your parents?

    of course you're a failure if you do, you're admitting you're incapable of supporting yourself or living independently.

    also how are you meant to have relationships or a social life if you're constrained by living at home?

    also renting vs buying isn't the snap financial decision a lot of people seem to think it is.

    Glenda Gilson still lives at home..... But with all the investment properties she has I guess you would too.....

    Anyhow back to the point..... you seem to confuse the difference between living at home claiming the dole vs working and contributing to the upkeep of the home vs actually claiming the dole and mooching off the old ones at the same time. Now the 3rd point would have cause for calling someone a failure (depending on the case of course). As for relationships well it's not easy..... that ad from BOI all those years ago perfectly captured the scene..... and encouraged the wrong sort of people to buy a house..... buy anyhow that's for another thread.


  • #47
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    With all the homilies of independence being issued, it's only a matter of time somebody ups the ante and claims to have refused to return home with their parents from the maternity ward?

    And dubbed their mates who went home to sponge off their parents as the foetal failures.


  • #48
    phantom_lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,896 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    Dudess wrote: »
    LOL at early 20-somethings saying people way older than them are failures - come back in five years' time...

    what has age got to do with it? am i precluded from saying the forty year old guy is a failure as well?


  • #49
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    stepbar wrote: »
    Glenda Gilson still lives at home.

    No wonder O'Driscoll dumped her. Bet she doesn't even know how to unblock a drain or get a wine stain out of the carpet even. :)


  • #50
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    what has age got to do with it? am i precluded from saying the forty year old guy is a failure as well?
    You can't relate to them. You have no idea what circumstances in life could force you to have to live at home in e.g. your late 20s. I had to move home in my late 20s (albeit for a short while) because I was unemployed and broke - I certainly wasn't banking on that when I was 21.
    And living at home in your early 20s, believe me, is much more commonplace nowadays.


  • #51
    phantom_lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,896 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    Dudess wrote: »
    You can't relate to them. You have no idea what circumstances in life could force you to have to live at home in e.g. your late 20s. I had to move home in my late 20s (albeit for a short while) because I was unemployed and broke - I certainly wasn't banking on that when I was 21.
    And living at home in your early 20s, believe me, is much more commonplace nowadays.

    that would fall under the label failure imo. and i'm not actually trying to troll you here for once when i say that!

    if you're living at home because you can't support yourself or it's cheaper and you're 23+ that's a failure imo. if you're living at home because you're parents are ill and you're helping or something like that would be different.

    someone who has their own place but their rent is paid by their parents is just as bad as someone that lives at home. they just have the ability to hide it better.


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  • #52
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    what has age got to do with it? am i precluded from saying the forty year old guy is a failure as well?

    You're not precluded from saying anybody is a failure.

    Your broad judgemental sweeps are purely your own business. Relax.


  • #53
    sunnyside
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,428 ✭✭✭sunnyside


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Yeh the renting v buying is something I'm just not sure of yet! I rented from the age of 17 to 21 and then I bought my first house, I'm on my second now and I definitely would prefer to own over renting, you never really feel like it's your home when you rent, but that's just my opinion, I'm sure there are plenty who don't feel the same.

    My own home was all I ever wanted, now I have it and can see the advantages of renting instead. Especially in recent times with flooding and water problems. It would be so much more convenient to just call the landlord with my problems instead of sorting them out myself.

    Living alone is really expensive. All the responsibility makes me feel really old. Other people my age (31) seem to spend their time going out/going on holidays while I spend my money and my time on appointments with carpenters and plumbers.


  • #54
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    that would fall under the label failure imo. and i'm not actually trying to troll you here for once when i say that!

    if you're living at home because you can't support yourself or it's cheaper and you're 23+ that's a failure imo. if you're living at home because you're parents are ill and you're helping or something like that would be different.

    someone who has their own place but their rent is paid by their parents is just as bad as someone that lives at home. they just have the ability to hide it better.
    Good stuff. Thanks for the life lesson, kiddo.

    /ruffles phantom_lord's hair


  • #55
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Ah.. i didn't realise it was time for this quarter's "Do you think people who still live at home at 18+ are failures?".

    What's usually next?

    Is it "which take away after the pub do you prefer? e.g. chinese or chipper"?


  • #56
    anniehoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭anniehoo


    I can see both points of view tbh. I went to college (17-21) but still lived at home while the majority of my classmates (outside dub) lived away from home...i was slagged for that, at the time.Friendly banter though as basically they had no choice and they wouldve loved to have been at home and i wouldve loved to have not been.Sooo not grown up-i thought i had a clue, i didnt!

    Moved out and rented (22-27) while most college mates went back home or got married.Had a ball and learned so many life lessons and loved my independance.

    27 late-moved home for a year because i wanted to buy my own place and i literally couldnt save enough for my own place and rent at the same time. Hated being at home,but had a plan. Saved my ar$e off, contributed to my parents and helped around the house.

    28-bought my own place....wahooo!! 30 now and dont regret a single thing i did.

    That was my plan..i wanted it..i worked for it and i got it!Ok so it took awhile but i have friends who are married with kids 3+ years ago, my sister 28 still lives at home, some friends still renting.Do i care? No!

    If you're happy..and i am..well then!

    Who the hell cares! Seriously..its a tough bloody world out there.


  • #57
    dylano_k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Iv been moved out since the age of 19 and would never move back, sex life had sky rocketed..then i discovered AH, now IT consumes all my time :pac: would never move home, even tho it has me broke as fcuk nothing like your own space


  • #58
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    big_show wrote: »
    /Hits Panic Button

    House prices not so bad down there :)


  • #59
    c0rk3r
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,257 ✭✭✭c0rk3r


    phantom_lord wrote: »
    that would fall under the label failure imo

    Degenerate gambler thread in Personal issues tbh.

    Its amazing how people take onboard other peoples opinion without realizing its worthless. like mine


  • #60
    phantom_lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,896 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    c0rk3r wrote: »
    Degenerate gambler thread in Personal issues tbh.

    Its amazing how people take onboard other peoples opinion without realizing its worthless. like mine

    i think you might have missed that that thread was a level...


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  • #61
    Steyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,266 ✭✭✭Steyr


    Nothing wrong with it what so ever, if your paying your way and helping out at home then there is no problem.


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