Embarrassing (Amusing) 'First Date' Experiences

TheScribbler · 14-01-2010 03:16AM #1

This is a topic to which all Boards enthusiasts can relate. We have all gone out on a first date or 'firstish' date where we have tried to impress but where disaster struck and we wished we could have been catapulted to another dimension to hide our mortification. Well this is your big chance to tell all. It is your opportunity to engage in Boards therapy and to share your story with fellow sufferers, and give us all a few laughs.

I will kick start the process with a cringe story of my own. Many years ago I took a girl out for a meal with friends. Having had an enjoyable evening I took her home via a romantic route in my car and stopped on the way back. On stopping, having had too much liquid on board I excused myself and exited the car but not wishing to be seen relieving myself I stepped further into the grass verge than was expedient in the dark only to tumble head over heels down an embankment while in full flow. I finally re-emerged after some minutes covered in nettle stings and bramble thorns with one trouser leg missing and the bare bit encased in a cow pat. My date burst out laughing and was still in hysterics as she entered her front door 'unaccompanied.' We didn't date again.

Borneo Fnctn · 14-01-2010 03:20AM

TheScribbler wrote: »

she entered her front door 'unaccompanied.'

You don't say?

Glico Man · 14-01-2010 03:22AM

About a year and a half ago I'd decided to ask someone that I really liked out, and was over the moon when she said yes.

I had decided that dinner was probably the way to go for a first date and we went to a swanky restaurant (no names in case you were there as a witness)

Anyways, she was looking amazing in a white dress, and me in a shirt and jeans. We sit down to dinner and we get through the starter no problem, conversation flowing nicely.

Then comes the main course, with wine. I like red wine so I had a glass of that and she had white. While taking a gulp of wine, I had the rather urgent need to cough....

Spewed the wine all over the girl and her white dress. Needless to say she left in a hurry and we haven't seen each other or spoken since.

I did have a nice dessert though

Sharpshooter · 14-01-2010 03:22AM

TheScribbler wrote: »

On stopping, having had too much liquid on board I excused myself and exited the car but not wishing to be seen relieving myself I stepped further into the grass verge than was expedient in the dark only to tumble head over heels down an embankment while in full flow.

I finally re-emerged after some minutes covered in nettle stings and bramble thorns with one trouser leg missing and the bare bit encased in a cow pat. My date burst out laughing and was still in hysterics as she entered her front door 'unaccompanied.' We didn't date again.

Tell us more.:pac:

thebigcheese22 · 14-01-2010 03:24AM

On my first date with my first ever girlfriend I thought her younger sister was her older sister. Twas ok though, she was a bitch.

CCCP^ · 14-01-2010 03:27AM

What the **** is this dating bull****? This is more American ****e. It's not called dating here. You just keep showing up at the same place with the same person until you get married or they/you start showing up with somebody else. Jesus ****ing Christ like.

Sharpshooter · 14-01-2010 03:28AM

CCCP^ wrote: »

What the **** is this dating bull****? This is more American ****e. It's not called dating here. You just keep showing up at the same place with the same person until you get married or they/you start showing up with somebody else. Jesus ****ing Christ like.

Ranting and Raving

>

mikom · 14-01-2010 03:30AM

aaronh007 wrote: »

I did have a nice desert though

Gobi, was it?

Abi · 14-01-2010 03:32AM

Utter cow pat.

Toots · 14-01-2010 03:55AM

Wasn't really a first date, we'd been going out a while. We were in the pub and got the nightlink home. I should add that this was a Tuesday night and I was still in school, had changed out of my uniform and brought it in my schoolbag to meet my OH when after-school-study had finished.

On the way from the bus stop to my house, we pass this monastary thing (I think) with big parkland grounds and a lake thing in the middle. The OH needed to pee, and since it was another 20 mins to my house, I suggested we go in there, so in we went and the OH found a convenient tree behind which to pee. Then, as 18/19 year-olds do, we were feeling a little amourous and decided to find somewhere more secluded

We found a nice spot at the base of a tree, which had sort of raised roots, but there was a nice gap between the roots where you could sit comfortably. There was a sort of embankment beside there that led down to the lake, oh it was a lovely romantic spot

So anyhoo, things were getting very heated, then my phone rang (my Dad wondering why his 18 year old daughter wasn't home at 2am on a schoolnight) so we decided we'd better pack up and leave. Unfortunately during the frivolities, my foot had gotten stuck underneath one of the roots of the tree, no matter how much I tried I couldn't get it out. My OH tried to free me from the other side of the root, but it was useless. So I decided to brace myself against the tree with my other leg and push as hard as I could. Suddenly my foot came free, but with all the force and being half pissed, I tumbled down the embankment, and straight into the lake :eek: Now it wasn't deep, it was more like a really really big pond. The water was about waist deep, but it was November, so the bottom was filled with leaves and sludge. I was totally manky, and my boyfriend was laughing so hard he couldn't even help pull me out!!

Eventually I got out, and had to walk home, soaking wet, filthy dirty and by that stage I was bloody freezing! Worse still, I was wearing my school coat at the time, which was dry clean only. Luckily my OH brought it to the drycleaners for me so my Mum was none the wiser. Had to throw out the trousers, and runners I was wearing though. Thankfully the other half realised that things like this just seem to happen to me, and decided he wants to marry me anyway!

That_Guy · 14-01-2010 04:04AM

I've had a couple of bad first dates.

I had been texting/ringing a girl for a while and I eventually asked if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said yes and we made plans.

On the day of the date -about an hour before we were due to meet up- I get a text from her saying that she's so nervous so I reassured her that it'd be fine as we both know a lot about each other and we'd have loads to talk about.

So, I get to the restaurant at the agreed time and am showed to the table that I reserved. I then get a text saying that she's going to be 45 minutes late due to heavy traffic. Fair enough I thought so I proceed to order a bottle of wine.

I drink the bottle of wine in about 20 minutes and proceed to order another one along with a plate of bread as I was starving at the time hoping that she'd be there shortly to enjoy the wine with me.

I get through the second bottle of wine myself and order another one hoping that the third time would be the charm.

So after two and a half bottles of wine and two plates of bread she arrives all smiles and me in a drunken state. She didn't know I was drunk at this stage.

So after a little bit of small talk (which I just get through) the waiter comes over and asks what we would like to order.

She orders and then I...... well I puked all over the table.

One of the shortest dates I've ever been on.

I don't drink wine anymore.

Another date I was on involved more dinner and this time the date was on time so there was no vomiting this time.

So anyway we go to a restaurant and we're getting along grand and talking away and everything seems to be going swimmingly.

We order drinks and food and all is fine and dandy.

The food arrives and halfway through the meal she needed to go to the toilet.

I finish off my dinner while she's gone and I'm still hungry so sneakily (or so I thought) I rob a few things from her plate only for her to be standing over me asking what I was doing.

I told her that some people were saying that their chicken wasn't cooked properly and I was just making sure that hers was as I didn't want her to get food poisoning.

She sussed me out pretty quickly. Not only did I feel like a common thief... but I also felt like a fcuking fat bastard.

Sharpshooter · 14-01-2010 04:09AM

That_Guy wrote: »

I've had a couple of bad first dates.

I had been texting/ringing a girl for a while and I eventually asked if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said yes and we made plans.

On the day of the date -about an hour before we were due to meet up- I get a text from her saying that she's so nervous so I reassured her that it'd be fine as we both know a lot about each other and we'd have loads to talk about.

So, I get to the restaurant at the agreed time and am showed to the table that I reserved. I then get a text saying that she's going to be 45 minutes late due to heavy traffic. Fair enough I thought so I proceed to order a bottle of wine.

I drink the bottle of wine in about 20 minutes and proceed to order another one along with a plate of bread as I was starving at the time hoping that she'd be there shortly to enjoy the wine with me.

I get through the second bottle of wine myself and order another one hoping that the third time would be the charm.

So after two and a half bottles of wine and two plates of bread she arrives all smiles and me in a drunken state. She didn't know I was drunk at this stage.

So after a little bit of small talk (which I just get through) the waiter comes over and asks what we would like to order.

She orders and then I...... well I puked all over the table.

One of the shortest dates I've ever been on.

I don't drink wine anymore.

Another date I was on involved more dinner and this time the date was on time so there was no vomiting this time.

So anyway we go to a restaurant and we're getting along grand and talking away and everything seems to be going swimmingly.

We order drinks and food and all is fine and dandy.

The food arrives and halfway through the meal she needed to go to the toilet.

I finish off my dinner while she's gone and I'm still hungry so sneakily (or so I thought) I rob a few things from her plate only for her to be standing over me asking what I was doing.

I told her that some people were saying that their chicken wasn't cooked properly and I was just making sure that hers was as I didn't want her to get food poisoning.

She sussed me out pretty quickly. Not only did I feel like a common thief... but I also felt like a fcuking fat bastard.

That_ Guy!!!

I can just hear them now.:pac:

That_Guy · 14-01-2010 04:17AM

Sharpshooter wrote: »

That_ Guy!!!

I can just hear them now.:pac:

It's kinda funny actually because when I met a few of her friends a few weeks later they were all saying, "OMG, are you that guy who got sick on the table"

I can't hide from it. Everyone points the finger at me.

"Did you hear about that guy? Robbed the bank"

It wasn't me.

DazMarz · 14-01-2010 04:58AM

This happened in a very nice restaurant and I was having dinner (though not technically a 'date') with a girl I had fancied for a long time. I had scrubbed up a good bit for this, as I wanted to make a good impression, as you do.

Was wearing a new blazer/jacket, new shirt, slacks and so on.

Needed to relieve myself about halfway through dinner, so I went to the gents. After using the urinal, the zipper on the slacks was a bit stubborn in closing, so after a bit of wrenching, it finally snaked shut... right over a protruding piece of my new shirt.

Cue much swearing and cursing and jiggling of the zip. Take off jacket as I'm getting quite hot and stressed at this ''f*cking, c*nting, b*starding zip''.:mad: I try to pull the zip up to the top and then back down.

Eventually the little metal bit/grip on the zip flies off... and my fist goes flying into my own forehead, sending me sprawling all over the wet, piss-covered floor. In my new clothes, now destroyed and me semi-conscious.

Date ended rather rapidly after that....:(

That_Guy · 14-01-2010 05:04AM

DazMarz wrote: »

This happened in a very nice restaurant and I was having dinner (though not technically a 'date') with a girl I had fancied for a long time. I had scrubbed up a good bit for this, as I wanted to make a good impression, as you do.

Was wearing a new blazer/jacket, new shirt, slacks and so on.

Needed to relieve myself about halfway through dinner, so I went to the gents. After using the urinal, the zipper on the slacks was a bit stubborn in closing, so after a bit of wrenching, it finally snaked shut... right over a protruding piece of my new shirt.

Cue much swearing and cursing and jiggling of the zip. Take off jacket as I'm getting quite hot and stressed at this ''f*cking, c*nting, b*starding zip''.:mad: I try to pull the zip up to the top and then back down.

Eventually the little metal bit/grip on the zip flies off... and my fist goes flying into my own forehead, sending me sprawling all over the wet, piss-covered floor. In my new clothes, now destroyed and me semi-conscious.

Date ended rather rapidly after that....:(

Now that is unlucky mate.

dylano_k · 14-01-2010 05:11AM

A girl i met up with a few times, me 19 and her 27, told me on a previous date of hers she went the cinema and he told her he was going the jacks....and he never came back...nearly spat my drink laughing when she told me!!

On our 3rd and last date, whilst in bed...she tole me she loved me after we did the deed..and then asked me did i love her back...i laughed and said no:cool:

How embarrassing that must have been for her:pac::pac:

That_Guy · 14-01-2010 05:14AM

dylano_k wrote: »

A girl i met up with a few times, me 19 and her 27, told me on a previous date of hers she went the cinema and he told her he was going the jacks....and he never came back...nearly spat my drink laughing when she told me!!

On our 3rd and last date, whilst in bed...she tole me she loved me after we did the deed..and then asked me did i love her back...i laughed and said no:cool:

How embarrassing that must have been for her:pac::pac:

You're mean.

She was 27? :eek::eek::eek:

dylano_k · 14-01-2010 05:31AM

That_Guy wrote: »

You're mean.

She was 27? :eek::eek::eek:

I might be mean...but thats just crazy talk, no matter how good i was;)

Mr Yellow · 14-01-2010 05:36AM

Few years back i had this 'date' with this girl i had drunkenly met quite a few times previous.

Thing was, at the time i got on pretty well with my boss so he decided early that particular day (morning time )that he wanted to go drinking, i became the chosen one to accompany him, so after a day drinking & playing pokies, my date turned up in the pub to my oblivion, i couldnt see never mind speak.

I lived very nearby so she ended up taking me home, showering & dressing me

We eventually went for our meal, but i believe i was more interested in drinking bottles of wine & getting the waitresses numbers, it was a blur.

It worked out somehow with us....until i emigrated!

Mackman · 14-01-2010 06:31AM

This is nore awkward than embarrassing, but anyway

My first date with my ex. I was 18, she was 21, we met in a pub on a sat night, i got her number and a few days later i texted her. We decided to go to the cinema. i met her outside, and we chatted etc. I decided we should see "Monster's Ball", i heard it was ok, adn it was the only half decent thing on anyway.

All was goin well, i had made the stretch and drop the arm over the shoulder move

(smooth i was). The movie was ok, not great, until.... the sex scene with Billy Bob Thornton and Halle Berry :eek: cue the two of us looking around, trying not to look at the screen or eachother. It never seemed to end! went on for ages, it was like a porno!

We laughed about it in the following years but at the time, t'was rather awkward

Overheal · 14-01-2010 07:01AM

CCCP^ wrote: »

What the **** is this dating bull****? This is more American ****e. It's not called dating here. You just keep showing up at the same place with the same person until you get married or they/you start showing up with somebody else. Jesus ****ing Christ like.

What an adorable rant. a/s/l?

DazMarz · 14-01-2010 09:28AM

DazMarz wrote: »

This happened in a very nice restaurant and I was having dinner (though not technically a 'date') with a girl I had fancied for a long time. I had scrubbed up a good bit for this, as I wanted to make a good impression, as you do.

Was wearing a new blazer/jacket, new shirt, slacks and so on.

Needed to relieve myself about halfway through dinner, so I went to the gents. After using the urinal, the zipper on the slacks was a bit stubborn in closing, so after a bit of wrenching, it finally snaked shut... right over a protruding piece of my new shirt.

Cue much swearing and cursing and jiggling of the zip. Take off jacket as I'm getting quite hot and stressed at this ''f*cking, c*nting, b*starding zip''.:mad: I try to pull the zip up to the top and then back down.

Eventually the little metal bit/grip on the zip flies off... and my fist goes flying into my own forehead, sending me sprawling all over the wet, piss-covered floor. In my new clothes, now destroyed and me semi-conscious.

Date ended rather rapidly after that....:(

That_Guy wrote: »

Now that is unlucky mate.

Unlucky does not even begin to describe... But at least I can crack a little bit of a grin at the story now. I nearly used to want to curl up into a ball and cry thinking of it a while back. Realise now it is actually quite amusing, if sinfully embarrassing.

14-01-2010 10:49AM

This is a lesson in being honest and upfront.....i was asked on date to a very posh restaurant ...i was working late on the day of the date ..so i decided to take a change of clothes to work with me get changed there...all goes well until i realise i had forgotten my high heels...the shoes i had on were a mankie pair of runners... id just have to go home and get the high heels..i knew this would make me a bit late but for some strange reason i didn't phone the guy and tell him id be late ...so i dress up in work make up included but with the mankie runners on ...

Then when i leaving work i realise sky fest is on in and the traffic is at a standstill ....by this stage my date is phoning my asking where i am ... again instead of being honest and saying ... look its going to take me a least an hour to get to you ...i said I'll be a few minutes late..he phoned a few time after that with me still saying i wont be long ... i think i should have given up when he said the restaurant were asking him did he still want the table....

Eventualy i get there... no hope of going home to get the high heels...couldnt find any parking neer the resturant....by this stage im stressed out all the make up has melted off, im sweting... i run from the car to the resturant...i meet him in the looby of the resturant where he has being siting for two hours...i must have looked a state...we did have the dinner and he kinda say the funny side of it

edwardevans · 14-01-2010 11:03AM

It was summer and i was going out for a walk with this unreal girl I was mad about - we had 3 dates before we even kissed, and this was the 2nd.
I got a huge boner and couldn't hide it cos of the netting in the shorts.
She just kept laughing and I got real self conscious.
I was like, im never wearing shorts again!!
Went out for 2 and a half years tho, so maybe it was a charm. Unreal girl too.

Wompa1 · 14-01-2010 11:20AM

I had what I thought was a date arranged. Was going to meet a girl for drinks. She said she'd tell me which pub to go to. I got the text around 8 asking to meet in a night club at 11:30...got there and she was there with loads of her friends...she was 18 and I was 20. Her friends and here spent the night running away and then coming back to me and running away etc. She thought it was perfectly normal and wanted to meet up again. I left after an hour and got drunk by myself.

My last first date with my current girlfriend as I met her outside the restaraunt I told the biggest stinker of a joke...asked her to be easy on me that I learned everything I know about dating from Saved By The Bell...luckily she gave me a chance!

Dublin141 · 14-01-2010 11:31AM

The first time my OH and I kissed (tame version) we went for something to eat afterwards and he told me that he had something to tell me, he was only 16 but would I still see him again. I almost cried. All I kept thinking was but he has man hands, he has man hands!

Anyway, he made me feel like a right old cradle snatcher. He said that he thought I was lying about my age too because I look so young. For an hour I sat at a bus stop with him waiting for his bus (because I thought he was too young to be in Dublin alone) and the whole time I kept shuddering and going ew. Just as the bus arrived he burst out laughing and said ah I was only winding you up.

He had to come back with his i.d. before I'd believe him. (I still check it, just in case

). To this day he says that I only went out with him again because I was so relieved that he wasn't actually underage. It's true too. :mad:

Seven years later and he's still boasting about fooling me...

stovelid · 14-01-2010 11:34AM

My mate turned up on a first dinner date and half-way through realized that he'd forgotten his wallet.

NothingMan · 14-01-2010 12:33PM

When I was 15 I went on a movie date with a girl i'd liked for ages. We were walking homewards through a park and I tripped a little, didn't fall, but I did tear my rediculously baggy trousers. Then they kept getting caught under mh shoe and tearing more. By the time we were out of the park they were ripped up past my knee and billowing back in the wind.

When I was 19 I took a girl out, she was 17, to the cinema and then went to Eddies. We ended up back in her parents as they were out (giggidy). She was walking me back towards a bus stop when she paused turned and puked all over the place. She was mortified but I thought it was just funny. I happened to have tissues, water and chewing gum on me, but didn't get a goodnight kiss (probably better off).

azezil · 14-01-2010 12:35PM

My first "date" ended back at my place where my flatmates had left 'Electirc Six - Gay bar' on repeat and a condom hanging from the ceiling with a smiley face drawn on it.

sbsquarepants · 14-01-2010 12:42PM

I had agreed to meet this girl for a drink, nothing too romantic or anything, on a particular sunday, went to a friends wedding on the friday before and me being me, forgot when to stop. Woke up monday morning still in my wedding clothes (shoes and all) and thought ****, i've stood that poor girl up so i rang her early that morning to apologise for missing our "date" and cited a terrible string of coincidences that kept me away and also rendered me phoneless, only to be informed that i had indeed turned up, mumbled incoherently for about an hour and then just up and walked out and promptly went head first into a bush! Thankfully she saw the funny side and (after pulling me out of the bush) put me in a taxi and sent me home, alone needless to say! But, nearly 5 years later she's still there, blabbering on endlessly to whoever will listen about what a great first date we had.:D

homerun_homer · 14-01-2010 01:04PM

A few of us were briefly introduced to a friend of a friend one night and the next day the friend told me the girl wanted my number so I told her to pass it on. We exchange a few txts and meet the next week.

We meet in front of BT in Limerick and begin a walk to a nearby pub and she says to me "I thought you wore glasses?".

When we were all introduced the week before my other friend had glasses on.

She insisted she asked for the right person but I didn't believe her. It fizzled out after one more meet up.

Embarrassing (Amusing) 'First Date' Experiences

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