me right arse cheek is in bits (cos i landed on it 49 times)

Tonight at about 4am I was walking home from town*(everything makes sense when you're mickey monk) and conditions where treacherous. It was already freezing and solid ice on the ground, but then it start snowing . I thought to myself fucking great (seriously) because now I have crunchy white **** to walk on instead of horrible pure ice. How wrong was I though The fluffy white lying cunting snow flakes merely masked my route and hid the manky ice from my blurry view. Anyway, having skilfully flirted with the manky ice all day and night without landing on me arse, I proceeded to do just that twice on my trek home at 4am.

Luckily for me though, there was a superhero watching over me. Some bloke, with a half decent looking girlfriend was walking behind me. He picked me up once and then offered to walk me back to his estate with his mot. I thanked him for picking me up off the ice but I declined his offer and wished him and his fair maiden a good night. The gentleman swung a right with his fine looking misses into that estate up at hearts corner in glasnevin and I went on me drunken way towards ye old honourable fionn glas. I went on me snot again right at the bus stop and yer man came around the corner and picked me up again off the freezing floor. I thanked him once again and went on me way.

I fell about 49 times right on me arse bone in the space of 20 feet after that but still, I'd just like to thank the kind sir for going out of his way to look after a poor oul drunken clown bag. I hope you got yer misses home safe and well and her arse is ok. (it looked grand to me anyway).

Anyway, thank you kind sir for picking me up off the floor twice tonight. You're an original 4am hero.





*Dublin you culchice ****.