Can you really say you're ok with gays?

jaffa20 · 27-12-2009 02:15AM

This thread was started a while ago and not one post about how it's an abomination etc etc. It's good to see. Normally see a lot of trolls just waiting for these threads so they can pounce

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 02:15AM

Dudess wrote: »

Some gay people are inately camp though - it's not put on.

Sure, I remember a boy in my class (who is now openly gay) in school was camp as hell, but I think they are the minority. I have known guys who suddenly turn camp when they come out of the closet.

I accept they may have been putting on a straight act most of their lives, but I think (and I accept I could be wrong) a lot of the queen stuff is fake.

monellia · 27-12-2009 02:19AM

This thread iz well sh1t innit!

monellia · 27-12-2009 02:20AM

jaffa20 wrote: »

This thread was started a while ago and not one post about how it's an abomination etc etc. It's good to see. Normally see a lot of trolls just waiting for these threads so they can pounce

whoops

plein de force · 27-12-2009 02:20AM

i'm gay too, nobody be they male or female has treated me differently when the find out i'm gay, nor should they

Biggins · 27-12-2009 02:21AM

jaffa20 wrote: »

This thread was started a while ago and not one post about how it's an abomination etc etc. It's good to see. Normally see a lot of trolls just waiting for these threads so they can pounce

Shush... they might hear you over the noise of their knuckles dragging along the ground!

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 02:23AM

plein de force wrote: »

i'm gay too, nobody be they male or female has treated me differently when the find out i'm gay, nor should they

Question:

If you had some male friends (who are cool with your sexuality) who use the word "gay" when describing things they think is a bit romantic or feminine or whatever, you know, like if you suggested to go see the latest Hugh Grant movie and they said "nah that **** is gay", would be be offended?

Pushtrak · 27-12-2009 02:25AM

AARRRGH wrote: »

I disagree.

If one of your straight friends started lifting weights and getting into MMA and started acting more macho with a deeper voice, would you also want to stop hanging around with him?

I agree queens are irritating, but they are no more fake than macho straight guys.

I'm not so sure, I think its an apples and oranges comparison. As in, everybody's milage would vary. Depending on the specific nature of the "acting more macho" I can see your point, but not everyone is necessarily on point.

I agree. "Pride" marches damage the image of gay people.

Have to agree with that, too.

Buceph · 27-12-2009 02:29AM

Transitional wrote: »

koHd wrote: »

I'm comfortable with gay people and I'm very defensive when people would slag them. But in all honesty I'm not 100 percent comfortable when there is two men kissing and the like. It just feels weird to see close up. But sure that's just a small thing. Besides that I'm comfortable with hanging around with a gay person.

Thank you for your honest input. I have a question for you: would you be just as uncomfortable if you saw a hetero couple kissing like that? Less comfortable? Not uncomfortable at all?

I think this is interesting. The only post you, Transitional, have singled out as being honest, is one that on the surface is mostly in favour of gay rights but supposes doubt.

I think this is interesting because it is the same as a lot of fervent gay rights activists' opinions that I've come across on the internet. The idea that people have, with their own words and actions supported gay rights and gay people, but it's somehow not good enough.

There was an interesting test done by an American university, that was available through a website over the internet. You would click on something, whether a situation was right or wrong based on the image presented to you. They based your results on your subconscious (to use a loose term ) delay in accepting or rejecting some situations, i.e. one second could mean total acceptance, three seconds could mean a conscious effort to accept but not a total acceptance of the situation.

And these activists I have encountered, their outrage that people have underlying, non-reasoned rejection of gay people is worrying.

I can categorically state that I have no problem with gay people. But that's only on a logic level. I will feel weird if two guys are kissing in front of me. Logically I know there's nothing wrong with it, but it still affects me. These activists have a profound hatred for people with these reactions. And that's highly unfair. I've been brought up, despite my parent's best efforts, in a world where gay people are looked down on (in whatever way you want.) My entire cultural experience is that these situations aren't quite normal. But humanity is seperated from animals by our reasoning. I can reason that there's nothing wrong happening, despite myself.

What I feel could be your problem, and is a substantial proportion of the gay movement's problem, is that they aren't willing to accept what society has done to people, and despite it, people are working for a better scenario.

I think Gareth Thomas' coming out will have a profound effect (not just on young gay rugby and sports players) but on a lot of Welsh people (who knew he was gay before he announced it) and a lot of the rugby and sports community.

I also think that gay activists are correct in lobbying for a more socially accepting place for gay people. But when some of the calls are extreme, it does damage the group they try to represent. Much like the birthers in America trying to present themselves as a majority of the conservative and Republican movement.

I also have problems with so called "gay culture" trying to present themselves as the default scenario for gay people, but that's another matter.

I also wish this kind of discussion came up more in the LGBT forum and The Ladies Lounge. I know it does, but sometimes I'm a bit intimidated by the users there. At least in the Gentleman's Club, I know I belong.

Foxhound38 · 27-12-2009 02:30AM

Jack Daniels I wrote: »

thats crap!
all lads talk about who they poked or want to poke among themselves.
your immediatly treating gay lads different when you dont do this and your right.
dont think id like to hear from some gayer about who they banged in the bum or how they had their trombone played in the early hours of sunday morning!

Meh, I'm not one to ask people about their conquests whether they be gay or straight. Thats not to say that some of my friends don't ask "what do you think of her" etc... but why would a gay person ask me that - I wouldn't have an opinion to give. That said, I have given and asked for relationship advice from my gay friends in the past - made me realize that the dynamics of the thing ain't so different no matter who the person.

monellia · 27-12-2009 02:32AM

Transitional wrote: »

I find this a tad offensive. People are always going on about how "of course I'm ok with gays, as long as they don't shove it in my face". I have to have heterosexuality shoved in my face every day, in every aspect of the media. Why should we have to be discreet? Sad how there's a double-standard like that.

I totes agree with you.

This guy does a very good job in elucidating this point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZKk8Qk8aeE

FouxDaFaFa · 27-12-2009 02:34AM

The timing of this thread is a bit weird, I just found out a gay friend of mine is engaged about 5 minutes ago.:D

I have no problem with gay people.I always find it strange that people are asked if they're "okay" with people being gay. It wouldn't even occur to me not to be. That probably sounds really precious or naive but I honestly don't give it too much thought.

I find it kind of funny that people could be upset about two guys or girls being together. Surely we need as much love in the world as possible? *cue harp music*

Tar.Aldarion · 27-12-2009 02:34AM

AARRRGH wrote: »

Question:

If you had some male friends (who are cool with your sexuality) who use the word "gay" when describing things they think is a bit romantic or feminine or whatever, you know, like if you suggested to go see the latest Hugh Grant movie and they said "nah that **** is gay", would be be offended?

My gay guy and gal friends use teh same terms as me when it comes to this, using 'gay=bad' as a term. I rmemeber it got quite heated on the LGB forum when there was a thread about that. Some people are offended, some are not. I don't care if tehya re going to be gay about it, hohoho

efb · 27-12-2009 02:37AM

I love the gheys. literally.

12 years of tormet. not cool.

number10a · 27-12-2009 02:37AM

I'm fairly ok with them. I sleep with them sometimes just to show my acceptance of them in our society.

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 02:39AM

number10a wrote: »

I'm fairly ok with them. I sleep with them sometimes just to show my acceptance of them in our society.

Yeah, I sleep with groups of bisexual women to prove I have an open mind.

plein de force · 27-12-2009 02:43AM

AARRRGH wrote: »

Question:

If you had some male friends (who are cool with your sexuality) who use the word "gay" when describing things they think is a bit romantic or feminine or whatever, you know, like if you suggested to go see the latest Hugh Grant movie and they said "nah that **** is gay", would be be offended?

first off ,i wouldn't go to see a hugh grant movie in the first place

but in the wider scope no i wouldn't, and i don't get offended if they say that. i know they mean it to say it's effeminate which i am not therefore i dont get offended

Buceph · 27-12-2009 02:50AM

monellia wrote: »

I totes agree with you.

This guy does a very good job in elucidating this point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZKk8Qk8aeE

There's two radical and opposite points he's making here. Firstly; that it's unfair that gay people have to hide away, which is quite valid. However secondly, he's angry that straight people get to do it.

He's using the hypocrisy (which I admit exists, although I'm not sure if there's such malice of intent behind it as him) to be angry about what straight people do. Attack the hypocrisy, not the innocent behaviour (although where's the innocence of using scantily clad women/to sell beer to lonely guys.)

This is why I'm angry with a large proportion of gay activists, they demonise what they actually want, and what they'd have no problem with if they were allowed it. Straight people are perfectly entitled to have films about their perfect romance, but so are gays. Just recognise that that's what you want, not that there's something wrong with it.

Although, in fairness he directs at the person who posted who those comments. Although the problem is that I feel bad with myself because of what he said.

Although it's a different argument with camp people (And I think it's offensive to say effeminate, because I don't know any women who are as extreme to be camp.)

K-Ren · 27-12-2009 03:33AM

I'm totally fine with gay marriage, I think it should be implemented. But I'm not going to deny that homsexual relationships are weird to me, and it's going to take some time before I see two men/woman kissing in the street and pass without it registering something different to a man and a woman kissing. I honestly think we're all animals at a basic, but now mostly subconcious level and we all match and differentiate colour, race, language, sexuality based on that of our own and that's never going to change.

Karl Hungus · 27-12-2009 03:39AM

Transitional wrote: »

Any time there's a gay marriage thread the majority of people are for full gay rights in Ireland. But I don't see this in real life.

Boards isn't truly representative of the majority of Irish people though. I'm fairly sure that most people on boards wouldn't dream of hanging around in public drinking dutch gold and/or hurling abusive at people, and trying to start fights for the fun, yet in real life as you put it, there's plenty of people who seem to really enjoy that sort of pass-time. Boards is more representative of your average Irish nerd.

You need to take into account who you're posing this question to.

OutlawPete · 27-12-2009 03:48AM

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Boards is more representative of your average Irish nerd..

Maybe a few years back, but now there is m.boards and so people can post from the cheapest mobile running Opera Mini.

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 03:51AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

Maybe a few years back, but now there is m.boards and so people can post from the cheapest mobile running Opera Mini.

Said like a true nerd.

OutlawPete · 27-12-2009 03:54AM

AARRRGH wrote: »

Said like a true nerd.

LMAO

Fair enough ..:o

Seaneh · 27-12-2009 03:59AM

I see homosexual relationships as no different than pre0marital hetro-sexual relationships, I have no problem being friend with lads who I know sleep around and cheat on their partners, why would I have any problem with a homosexual friend doing whatever they want in their private life?

I'm not saying all gay people sleep around, or even the majority, just as I'm not saying all my male or female single friends sleep around, was just an example.

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 04:02AM

Seaneh wrote: »

I see homosexual relationships as no different than pre0marital hetro-sexual relationships, I have no problem being friend with lads who I know sleep around and cheat on their partners, why would I have any problem with a homosexual friend doing whatever they want in their private life?

I'm not saying all gay people sleep around, or even the majority, just as I'm not saying all my male or female single friends sleep around, was just an example.

I agree with you, but just to play devil's advocate, gay people are waaay more likely to be HIV+, so their sleeping around is less "innocent".

For example, a recent study by the CDC found 60% of black gay men in the US are HIV+.

Seaneh · 27-12-2009 04:06AM

AARRRGH wrote: »

I agree with you, but just to play devil's advocate, gay people are waaay more likely to be HIV+, so their sleeping around is less "innocent".

For example, a recent study by the CDC found 60% of black gay men in the US are HIV+.

I wouldn't support either group sleeping around... I believe sex is best saved for marriage.

Anybody who sleeps around regardless of sex or sexuality is putting themselves at massive risk and as such, need to take a long hard look at their actions and consider the possible outcomes. I mean, even if you only get a dose of the clap, you got it being an idiot.

staker · 27-12-2009 04:08AM

Is that how it's spellt?:eek:

AARRRGH · 27-12-2009 04:09AM

staker wrote: »

Is that how it's spellt?:eek:

???

Saltour Sossiez · 27-12-2009 04:10AM

I'm not ok with gays, never will be.

They're ill and need serious help.

If ya can't cure 'em, gas 'em.

bronte · 27-12-2009 04:13AM

100% fine by me. Disgusting they can't marry.

Can you really say you're ok with gays?

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