La Liga Superthread 2009/10

Even the most evil men are capable of beauty once in a while
Sid Lowe

It's not supposed to be this way. Carlos Marchena's not supposed to score and he's certainly not supposed to score the same day David Albelda does

Something was rotten in the Kingdom of Navarre. Really rotten. Vegetable drawer rotten. A furry, greying blob wallowing in some unidentified liquid, stuck to the bottom of your fridge, laughing at you for being deluded enough to have bought it in the first place. Surely there was some mistake; it just wasn't right, it couldn't be. Even as they reported it, they half expected someone to reveal it had all been an elaborate practical joke. "Valencia's jugones – their stylists, their superstars – were Albelda and Marchena," said AS's headline. "Albelda and Marchena pull on top hat and tails," said Marca's. They might as well have found a bus on the moon. With Freddie Starr tucking into their hamster on the top deck.

9pm, Sunday night, the Reyno de Navarra. Osasuna versus Valencia, the last game of Jornada 11 – not quite a weird weekend but a slightly strange Saturday and Sunday. Jorge Valdano had admitted that he was "bored" but "crisis-ridden" Real Madrid had still gone top – properly top – for the first time since 2007-08. Unbeaten in 11 games, Barcelona were talking about "getting ourselves out of this". Málaga and Zaragoza found themselves on the front page. And Mallorca were sixth, officially Spain's best side at home. Now Valencia had won 3-1 in a game in which the linesman was hit by a sandwich, Osasuna had two sent off and José Antonio Camacho complained that the only thing referee Velasco Carballo didn't do for the visitors was "kiss them".

But that wasn't the surprise. This is the stadium where David Beckham was pelted with missiles by the ballboys; Osasuna have long defined themselves by their dirtiness; and their coach Camacho admitted that he "expected" red cards after a week in which the Valencia coach Unai Emery asked the ref to show some "personality". No, that was no surprise; that's not what saw this match round off a weekend of unusual phenomena. Nor was Walter Pandiani getting sent off, or Carlos Marchena helping it happen. Nor, in fact, was David Villa getting the opener – the Valencia striker is La Liga's top scorer on nine. What was a surprise was Villa getting it from a wonderful chipped assist from Marchena, and Marchena himself scoring a brilliant third. What was a surprise was that Valencia's second was a superb lob from David Albelda.

That's David Albelda and Carlos Marchena. Carlos Marchena and David Albelda.

The incredulous sub-heading on the back of one paper said it all: "Maarcheenaaa!" All it lacked were the multiple question marks. It's not supposed to be this way. Marchena's not supposed to score. He's certainly not supposed to score the same day Albelda does. He's only got seven in nine seasons; Albelda has only six in 12. More importantly, he's not supposed to score nice goals on the same day Albelda scores nice goals. "Albelda and Marchena scored goals worthy of a stars," declared Marca. By which they meant: not worthy of them. AS, meanwhile, gave Albelda the Dandy award, for only the fourth time in his entire career. Marchena was declared the game's Crack. For him, too, it was only the fourth time ever.

"Valencia are a mine," declared El País's headline. And when it comes to Albelda and Marchena, most would agree, Valencia are a mine: dark, dirty and dangerous. The Crack? For Marchena, that's normally just the sound of violence – the noise that accompanies his elbow as it shudders into an opponent's cheek. Marchena is the dirtiest, cheatingiest, evilest player in La Liga. A fouling, elbowing, pulling, diving, whinging, faking hardman who learnt from the master of nasty bastardry – a sneaky, clever, utterly Machiavellian master by the name of David Albelda. "Albelda and Marchena are used to bossing, kicking, clearing, protesting and running in every game, this time they added class," Marca said; "as well as fighting, they joined the symphony of quality," agreed AS. It didn't make sense; this weekend, nothing did.

Only, perhaps it did. Mallorca have the best home record but they've played Xérez, Tenerife, Valladolid, Getafe, Racing and Almería, who have managed five wins in 34 away games. Which also helps to explain Madrid's position: their home wins have come against Deportivo and Xérez, Tenerife, Valladolid, Getafe, and Racing. Zaragoza and Málaga graced the cover of Sport You but only because they'd disgraced the game, producing the "ugliest match on earth". Barcelona are unbeaten but they've not won in three away matches, they look tired, and Leo Messi and Zlatan Ibrahimovic are injured. And, as for Marchena and Albelda, well, even the most evil men are capable of beauty once in a while. After all, they say Hitler loved dogs and the Krays loved their mum.

There's something about Albelda and Marchena that doesn't fit the image, either: Albelda is an intelligent left-winger who counts the Valencia author Ferran Torrent amongst his friends, while Marchena spends his spare time cooking, painting, reading about the Renaissance and tending to his collection of bonsai trees. Playing for Valencia rather than Madrid or Barcelona makes slamming them too easy; playing the way they do makes overlooking their ability easier yet. Few seemed keen to note Marchena's impeccable displays at Euro 2008 or the fact that Albelda only missed out because Juan Soler's disastrous presidency left him in court instead of on the pitch.

This summer, Valencia turned down bids totalling over €115m. Marchena and Albelda were among the few ignored. But while Valencia fought to keep the rest they've been thankful for keeping their two veteran midfielders. Valencia have won four of the last five and should have won the fifth – against Barcelona. It's not entirely coincidence that the run coincides with Albelda's return to fitness and the departure from the side of centre-back Alexis in favour of David Navarro. Just as it is no coincidence that, when fit, Marchena plays every game. Or that, powerful, competitive, organised and lightning quick on the break, Valencia have the best away record in the league.

Valencia are fourth, four points behind Madrid, and while it is the astonishingly mobile, skilful attack of Villa, Pablo Hernández, Juan Mata and David Silva that has led them, it is at least in part the fact that they're not alone that makes you think they could mount a challenge. Valencia don't care if Marchena and Albelda are sons of bitches because they are their sons of bitches. Besides, this weekend they proved they can play a bit too. Valencia fans knew that already. The stunned reaction showed that almost everyone else clearly did not.


Talking points

• A stone thrown from the stands at the Calderón hit Manuel Pellegrini in the face during the derby. The fine: €150. What price the sandwich at Osasuna?

• Atlético Madrid just keep on being Atlético Madrid. Coach Quique Sánchez Flores – who had missed most of the week with swine flu – had to rush on to the pitch and clamp his hand around the mouth of Sergio Agüero as he tried to get at the referee for giving a 92nd-minute penalty (finally taken in the 95th and the last kick of the match). Agüero seemed to overlook the fact that it actually was a penalty. It was committed by Pablo when there was no need whatsoever to make the challenge. It's not like the world's clumsiest centre-back hadn't been warned, either – he'd committed pretty much the same mistake earlier in the game only for the linesman's flag to rescue him after the ref had given it. Atlético have made their worst start for 56 years. Depor continue to win from dead balls.

• Speaking of refs, Racing Santander had a perfectly good goal ruled out against Real Madrid that would have made it 1-1. The linesman's flag went up but it wasn't even close. Madrid will point to the penalty they might have had for a challenge on Karim Benzema. They won't point to that Villarato stuff, though. Somehow, they are top – and most are not impressed. But, still, top, going to Camp Nou and with Ronaldo now back; the psychological outlook has changed completely. Especially as Barcelona's short squad is starting to show and they have a nightmare month ahead of them. The game's best performer at the Bernabéu was the man who scored the 'goal' – an 18-year-old called Sergio Canales, who looks like he may be pretty special.

• The top of Marca's cover today: "If Barcelona force Messi to play, they could see him break down". The middle of Marca's cover today: Cristiano: "It hurts but I'm going to play the clásico no matter what".

• Sevilla continue to look very strong indeed. Nine players out, no problem. Two very nice goals defeated Tenerife. Meanwhile, Villarreal continue to improve – as they were always going to.

• Pennant watch: not playing, still injured. Missed a cracker.

Results: Tenerife 1-2 Sevilla, Deportivo 2-1 Atlético, Madrid 1-0 Racing, Athletic 1-1 Barcelona, Xérez 0-0 Sporting, Villarreal 3-1 Valladolid, Espanyol 0-2 Getafe, Mallorca 3-1 Almería, Malaga 1-1 Zaragoza, Osasuna 1-3 Valencia. Real Madrid 0-1 Real Oviedo [OK, OK, Real Madrid Castilla].

EL CLASICO AWAITS
Apocalypse Now
By Phil Ball

The trouble with the 'clásico' (Barcelona v Real Madrid, in case you didn't know) is that in the week preceding this apocalyptic fixture everything seems conditioned by its looming presence. It might have been better for the clubs themselves to have played the game on a weekend which neither preceded nor succeeded a Champions League midweek, but the gods of destiny preferred to keep things boiling over, sitting up there in the clouds this summer, poring over the fixture list. As such, it's even managed to silence the Hand of Henry controversy, by far this past week's juiciest talking point.

Nevertheless, the weekend's action in La Liga seemed to have its every action subordinated by, or linked to, next weekend's game. Pep Guardiola came in for some criticism for even fielding Leo Messi in San Mamés on Saturday night, as if he should have been saved for the two subsequent games, which were deemed more important. The fact that he went off injured then became a talking point for next Sunday, particularly given the imminent return of Cristiano Ronaldo for the big event. Messi's injury (which has turned out to be not as serious as initially thought) was only a problem in terms of the clásico, not the next few games - not even the Inter match on Tuesday. Champions League? Who cares? Real Madrid visit on Sunday.

Well - I exaggerate. But you could have been spared the thought that Barcelona's season, which may well pivot on Tuesday's game, depended more on the clásico than on beating Inter - which is obviously untrue in concrete terms, but in psychological ones it makes sense. Real Madrid have found this particular incarnation of Barça rather hard to take, especially given the 2-6 defeat of last season, and would love to exact some sort of revenge, or at least wrest back some dignity. A good result in the Nou Camp - and a draw would constitute that - might begin to turn the tide that has so fervently washed the Catalans' away in the last year and a half.

The truth is that neither side are playing particularly well, going into the game. On Saturday morning, to boot, Spain woke up to the headlines that H1N1 had hit the Barça dressing-room, with Abidal and Touré its fallen victims. Marquez was soon to follow. You could almost see the headline writers at Marca rubbing their hands in glee, almost exhorting any undercover Madrid fan in Barcelona (with 'the flu') to break into the Nou Camp and sneeze. Then on Saturday night, Athletic Bilbao recovered remarkably from the first 20 minutes of a game in which Barça ran them dizzy, slowly turning the tables on the visitors and ending up looking almost the better side.

Messi limped off after a fantastic start, but then Xavi and Iniesta came in for some rough stuff, particularly from the hound from hell, Carlos Gurpegui. A few weeks ago, he wandered down the streets of Bilbao with my son and myself after midnight, chatting away as if he were the most mild-mannered man on the planet. On Saturday night, Barça must have wished he'd been elsewhere. At one point - dare to breathe the phrase - Gurpegui put Xavi so off his stride that he misplaced a pass to Iniesta, which rolled out of play. The world tilted on its axis, rivers dried up and the stock market fell. It was the first time that a Xavi pass had not hit a Barça player since 2006, or so the story goes. Is this the beginning of the end?

Dani Alves actually scored at a point when Barça were not playing particularly well, a fact that would have knocked the wind from most opponents' sails, but not Athletic's. Indeed, with reference to my friend Eduardo Alvarez' debut quiniela last Wednesday, this was a fixture where his prediction was spot-on, although Guardiola put out most of his big guns. Not so many were rested, as Eduardo predicted - but the result was right. Rather better than the total - five out of 10, but we'll forgive him the first time. Definite room for improvement. Glancing at my own attempt, I managed six, but blew three of the five second division games. Ho hum, work another week, as my father used to say. Whatever, it will be interesting to see what is predicted for the clásico. It would take a brave person to predict a Madrid win, but such an outcome would truly put the cat amongst the proverbials.

It seems unlikely because Real Madrid are playing so poorly, and yet a haul of 28 points from a possible 33 represents their best start in 17 years. Then again, one might argue that they are only playing poorly in relation to the expectation generated around them pre-season, and the Alcorconazo, as the famous defeat to the minnows has been baptised, has managed to steal several headlines. This roughly translates, in cultural (if not literal) terms, as 'Alcorcongate', just to keep you in the picture.

Real Madrid's 1-0 win over struggling Santander did little to assuage the feeling among Madridistas that despite a whole bundle of presents arriving in the post over the summer, the absence of the biggest and best (Ronaldo) has put the other toys into the shade from where they have rarely emerged. The exception, particularly in the Santander game, was Xabi Alonso, who is beginning to approach the best version that so often lit up the English Premier League. And all this coming on the back of his two decisive goals for Spain against Argentina last week.

Elsewhere in the side, various players - Drenthe, Marcelo, Granero - continue to sow the seeds of doubt as to whether they really belong as valid supports to their galactic company, since they seem unable to pull the side together when the big names are not performing - I refer to Kaká and Benzema in this instance. Gonzalo Higuaín continues to score decisive goals, but is a much poorer team player than Raúl, for example. That one should often replace the other, and that this should generate such debate, rather contributes to the feeling that Real Madrid have not really moved on much from last season. Galácticos what? Where are they, and what are they doing exactly? Ask their manager.

On Wednesday night it will be interesting to see how many of them are given a run-out against the theoretically weak FC Zurich, particularly Cristiano Ronaldo. Madrid, nevertheless, cannot afford to do a Rubin Kazan, and talking of which, Barça cannot afford to slip up at home to Inter, a fascinating game in itself, never mind next Sunday. Inter go to the Nou Camp like some sort of quasi-Spanish outfit, stocked with players who have trod the boards of La Liga, and most of whom have experienced el clásico. Samuel Eto'o, Wesley Sneijder, Esteban Cambiasso, Thiago Motta, Walter Samuel, and Diego Milito (ex-Zaragoza) will all be there.

The other interesting fact about the Barcelona v Madrid game is that the latter go into it as La Liga leaders. Given all the wailing and gnashing of teeth at the Bernabéu, it is nevertheless a useful advantage at this stage. A draw would be most useful, but a win would potentially set the tone for the rest of the season. Barcelona cannot afford to let it happen, but it is difficult to predict at this stage, as I write this column, what effect the outcomes of the European games will have on the mood and result of the big game to come.

Not forgetting, as is often the case in these circumstances, that Sevilla are the side playing the best football in Spain at the moment, with morale sky-high and a low-key game in midweek from which they only require a point to ensure a top-of the-table finish to Group C. Moreover, they are only three points behind Real Madrid in the table and have two consecutive home games coming up, both of which look distinctly winnable (against Málaga and Valladolid). With Valencia tucked in a mere point behind Sevilla, the top four is beginning to take on a healthily competitive look, certainly more than was generally predicted at the start of the season.

Elsewhere, Kun Agüero was taking a leaf out his father-in-law's book for stretching the Spanish language to new heights, with a volley of imprecations aimed in the direction of referee Paradas Romero who had just awarded Deportivo a ridiculous penalty in the 95th minute of their home game against poor Atlético, a team for whom the fates seem to be dishing up poisonous plates on a weekly basis. It seemed to take several hours for Agüero, ably assisted by his team-mates, to actually cool down sufficiently for José Guardado to finally put the penalty away and send Atlético home pointless, just for a change. Next week they host Espanyol, in what must rank as a must-win game.

The results of this coming week look as if they may begin to shape the season to come in a more substantial way than we have seen so far. It's going to be pretty tasty, whatever happens. Book your places on the sofa, now.

Headshot wrote: »

fabiano is such a class act

just a tad off World Class bracket

redout wrote: »

A very empty Bernabéu for last nights game. Higuain is quickly turning into the best finisher in la liga. Only second to Villa in my opinion. He had a great time last season and has continued it this season even with the doubt of participation after the summer buying bonanza. Raul is now a certainty for retirement at the end of the season. It will be a shame to see such a player leave. No doubt he will immediately be given an important role within the club. One of the greatest players to ever grace la liga the game. Future manager/President no doubt.